I appreciate your trigger warning, thank you. I think that this is a very well-done piece of writing. I also think there are a large number of people that can really relate to this. It can be very hard to find any bright spots, especially with everything seeming to be spiraling downwards at the moment.
It's short but funny. It definitely seems like the kind of poems I wrote when I was a child and learning to write poetry. It's very short, but there's nothing wrong with that, I think you have a fun little poem here. Great job!
I think you've done a good job. It does have some technical issues throughout. Mostly it's that not all the "Him" parts have got their own separate lines and did not get bolded. It is a bit distracting and I almost missed that it was the man's part when that happened. There's also an error with "pouring", I believe it should be "I was trying to pour my damn heart out".
I don't mind your poem, but some of the lines in the middle make it seem a bit more dark and ominous rather than inspirational.
I also found some technical errors throughout your writing. Commas are misplaced in several of your lines. Lines 2, 8, 10, 17, and 18 are the ones that have issues with commas. It is nothing really horrible, but it is just a bit distracting when reading through it, but it is a pretty easy fix.
This really resonated with me. I was in a very abusive relationship for 5 years before I finally broke away. It's amazing what others can make you believe especially after they've been quietly bringing your self-esteem down for so long. It is so terrifying when you first get out but so freeing once you realize that you are worth more than what you were being put through. I think a lot of people will be able to relate to this. Nicely done.
This is definitely a terrifying tale that had me on the edge of my seat the entire time I was reading it. I think you've done a good job setting up your story and I only saw some minor errors. I think doing a quick once over would fix any spelling errors.
At the very beginning, it says "fist connected with her Margo’s" should either be just "her" or "Margo's", but having both there doesn't make sense.
I think I had seen at least one other one, but I did not note it down, otherwise, I would have highlighted it for you.
It is very interesting, I have never heard of this type of poem before coming upon this. I think it works really well and is very nicely written. It definitely paints a picture in my mind when I am reading it. I also appreciate the notes at the end, it was really helpful in understanding!
This is great. I will have to show it to my husband because I know he will think it is pretty funny as well. I have had several funny experiences during school, especially high school! It is always interesting to see what other funny things people have gone through during their school days as well!
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 2:31am on Nov 15, 2024 via server WEBX1.