It reminds me of the stories I'd read when I was younger - clean, interesting and with lively characters. I would also refer this to any young ones, especially if I was teaching them to read, or simply hold their attention.
Hi - I read your piece. In my opinion - it is good, but I feel it could be better presented. The first paragraph is all about WWII, specifically Normandy. And the second chapter followed on from that. But later on, the essay strays from the opening, to I guess the virtues of those who died or attended the landings.
Quite the red herring.
In my opinion, if you are going to write about virtues?? have it early in the first paragraph. I mean the first paragraph and the theme of the essay are just too different.
I am no historian or society buff, but while the military theme has these wonderful virtues, it can written in a better format.
Hi - I read your story. It is fast paced with a happy ending. There is plenty packed into the small package and I guess what you have here is the completed manuscript. I could find no fault in the grammar. I look forward to your further works and wish you all the best.
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