Hi, I stopped by to give a quick review of your poem 'Fighter' and what a great poem, I love it. But I would change it slightly if it was my poem? You have got a steady rhyme pattern until the third stanza which slowed it down for me, also the second stanza I would split to make an extra stanza (starting at I heard her sob) and adding two extra lines, probably describe tears, pain etc.
These are my views and like most poetry, especially some of my own, everyone will read it and have there own personal feelings and emotions from reading it. This is a very good poem, but with a little more work, this would be exceptional.
Hello again, thanks for choosing me to review one of your poems. Please remember that these are my thoughts on this poem, so take them and use them at your own will, I do not normally review in a typical manner and just blurt out whats wrong etc or right. I like (or try to) feel the poem or story and go from there.
ALL of us is lost; the title is great and sets the theme well if it was me though I would change the 'is' to 'are'. But this does not change from the poem. I liked the picture it painted here and it is something that most if not all of us can relate to, a job well done. I liked the rhyming with the first and last lines of each stanza, would I change any, no, but I do think an addition in this line 'our wrath is surely a warning!' could work, maybe before warning look for adding another descriptive word, for instance, you have good morning in the first line of that stanza, how about something like 'solemn' 'Our wrath is surely a solemn warning!'
Now for the mistakes! I only spotted a few, the main ones being of a no space after each comma and a capital letter missing? The third stanza there should be a capital O 'Our'and again after Alas! in the first line 'The'.
Please remember these are my thoughts and views, I am still learning the art of poetry (do we ever stop learning!) and overall thoughts are that with a little polishing this would be a great poem.
Hi from sunny Wales. I love to read poetry that seems to break the rules, I love your Hello, the first lines of each stanza are enough to paint the emotional picture. Then the second and third lines are like asking and telling of the why, love it.
Hi, Me too? If it wasn't for my first book I'm not sure where I would be! the book is all about my struggles with Anxiety and Depression and the numerous panic attacks!
I have a folder on here with just mental health stuff packed into it? If you need any help I'm always available?
It sounds like you are a bit like me, it was with my writing etc that everything started to calm down to a somewhat better and more manageable level.
Hi Zeke, I hope you are well. I think this is the first time that I have come over to your side and checked up on you!
As you know I like poetry, I don't confess to being good at it, I just like it, that's why I chose this one to read and review.
I have also penned a few now that have a personal touch to them, and the feeling from reading yours is that of a very deep "Love" for Christine and it paints a soft loving picture.
I enjoyed it and can't pick any faults, great work.
Once upon a time there was a loud bang that sounded off everyday, until finally one day the bang sounded no more. Because of that all the people slept silently until finally a big bang awoke them once more.
So I was thinking of putting a poem together for the Rebel Poetry and thought that I would check out the winners.
I checked Minja's entry, I do like the style and love to read their work, but it did not grasp me, then I checked up on yours and what a beauty.
Totally relatable to what went of over in the states, I suppose we are about to witness something similar over here in the UK!
I cant see much wrong with the poem, the flow was good all the way through, no grammar mistakes and the title just says it all...
So sorry for this late reply , i was going through the old e mails and noticed that you replied , i live in overton on dee near wrexham , but originally i'm from nottinghamshire.
Among the many souls I lie,
Intoxicated by their shimmering spirits,
The warmth they bring to me I won't deny,
For the journey, by God, we don't fear it,
For the mist is ahead and the twister is near,
On the journey that we have been given,
And the voices we hear we do not fear,
For we share in this life we are living,
And the voices are our own,
And the rain is tears of happiness,
Coming down to us from the heavens above,
And the harkening cry,
Is a welcoming sign of Him,
Who has granted us glorious Love.
Hi i normally do not read poetry or write it , not sure the little changes i have made make it better or not , it is what i would have done , i do still like it though.
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