beautiful poem!!
there's one or two places where it kinda turns into free verse, aside from that, excellent rhythm and rhyme!
cities are gross , noisy crowded and polluted
ive learned through this one, if I read free verse poetry like a short story I can follow it much better.
I generally can't follow free verse, for me there's got to be rhythm and rhyme (in any form of writing)
otherwise this is quite a story!
my only suggestion, break it down into stanzas, give the reader's mind an extra half second to chew and swallow if you catch my meaning
hello miss angel, our paths cross again
came across this a bit randomly when I was looking for something philosophical to read (and preferably a poem(I'm very fond of long poetic journeys!! )
this one normally would be a bit short for my liking, but its solid depth to the point!
I thought of my time in Iowa upon finishing....a 58 hour factory work week takes away over 50% of our time being the other dimensions and aspects of being human -... and it's very very sad!
these people think they're getting was ahead but by the time they're retired their body's limbs and joints have certain ranges of motion they can longer through (more than a couple times). I know this from experience!
if you are depressed and this is an emotion of it I sincerely hope you find some light soon, but being that you seem to write consistently you are constantly fighting the possibility
this got me think'n bout someth'n either Lewis Carrol or C.S. Lewis once said, seeing someone immensely talented never improve or push the boundaries of their art because the person didn't practice much
this got me think'n about two things: one - when I was in the Centennial state a couple years ago, going through some very weird and interesting stuff. at one point, when I was on a walking path, I let go so deeply (and my body was extremely tired (long story)) I started dropping consciously with my spirit from my body - thankfully my spirit guides caught me after a couple seconds and put me back in place with a "Woahh"!
two - the tidbits of psychosis I experience sometimes between dream and awake
hi sir/ma'am, I like all the metaphors and perceptions of time (a very mysterious and interesting thing, time), and you made it long enough to allow all the nooks and crannies of the feeling to wind their way out
iv read so many poems on this site and elsewhere that felt to be a fraction of what the author was feeling and thinking. a think maybe a lot of writers are afraid readers will lose track or interest if a poem is too long
I can relate to this a bit. A few years ago I was woking endless 2nd shift overtime at a factory in Iowa. A little over a year into it my body and brain were so pumped on adrenaline I had some seriously bad sleeping problems. It was the first time I experienced hallucinations from sleep deprivation.
Thankfully I'll never have to go through any of that again.
I described (very metaphorically) my recovering from the sleep disorder it after I quite that nightmare in a poem called "broken flowers"
this stirred me deeply in my reflections emotions of my own writings and traveling searches for truth and understandings of what I need to do for myself and the world and universe for the spirit and soul to thrive and evolve! :;.. where my life is going
living life moments and heartbeats at a time; having spaces in the togetherness:, its a beautiful way!
coolest! .;, hello good madam, I believe we may share some functionalities in some part of the neural networks
perhaps you can work some magic end for following adventure! (might not show up correctly constructed on your end)
a Mount i Sing
The Valley Forged
Choose you’re own adventure chords
Time the boulders roll Slowly
c down the valley chord
e — holding the Forge
l
i
n
g the softness
Singing the river waters with the pines
a gently breeze i
bristling the flower people
h
Flute songs of the Gentley rocking
h praire grassets fold softly
e over the mossy rockings
— flutter bees in Fantastic
mirrors sWinging dance
o there
u mighty shadows in the flakes
n n f h
tain e e
ling dancing snow children
Glassy in the colliding scopes
h u
of e
village of Minerals
Forming in the hole below
Rainer Mist in the eyes of the
u a Cavernous fog Whisitling
Rumble s through the canyon
R b i — monuments in Haze
O l v
A e they Speak the languages
R of before …; o
R lASH you with their mighty
N winds
Grip
hello good sir... If you find yourself thinking its not easy being me, you're not alone .. DID i say i'm schizophrenic (extremely misunderstood) autistically brilliant humility here on my end
I think you'll find this wonderfully stimulating. I am very very sensitive to chakra energies in many forms
from my recent brief phase in psychiatric care with practitioners who understand spirit very poorly unfortunately :~/
9/circa13/2021
they pain, they pain,
whey they rain ,whey
they rain. , . Because
able to release from its the old game weiagyt
this craziness, ,;., if you feel our pain
insanity & cruelty we all might be
the screams we scream -;~ because eyes wide open
silently ... why?? of walks of wild wanderings
the patients asking.. why,? -:~ words of what the hell is
am I here. goin on!
The hospital crawls around
in projection quivers
ghostly's Spirit SZewn :;~ we LeveL cWwazZy
Authors note; post script; memoir of a memoir ., choose one that sound right *Wink*
I had speak a half truthful lie to those of narrow mind. an animal being here who has chronic anxiety and got released 2 days 2 late ,. 4 days post I'm leveling out now very well!
hello sir, or ma'am ,.. I have authentically lived this perspective for several months winter last year. had some deeply wonderful thoughts swim outa me watching the beautiful snow shine. greatly joyed knowing someone else understands the divinity of experiences this solitudic scenery.
my foresight and reflections of past lives is coming through now in almost bone chilling clarity, and throat chalkra even translating dialogue, my spirit from an Arapaho woman life
beautiful passage of wisdom..., and my wisdom to you, my meditating too much on a poor diet (hugely improved) put me psychiatric care for 2 solid weeks ;-!/ oops lol
I seen one cat on americas funniest that liked a good bath but that may have been a bunny its a little funny now
me and my mama had a big mellow orange cat for 20 years that didn't much like the presence of another Little rambunctouus painfully playful kitty so he found homey welcome a walk through the woods for few months
I like the this is presented. The first two sections immediately reminded me of what Levar Burt said of his mother's approach "to give her children children the best education she could not afford.
I started less is more years ago and became a minimalist in Colorado and I'm very ok with that hahahah
An idea came to just last night about this philosophy
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, noisy crowded and polluted