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12 Public Reviews Given
12 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Mariella Stift Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hmm, very interesting. Based on the picture you included, I'm guessing you based this poem off of it. The imagery was very interesting. With regards to that the only thing I'd want is for you to go even further with it. The flow of the poem was good, which isn't always easy when writing a free form piece. Although it could be improved by making sure you only repeat words with intentional repetition. The last stanza I loved. It changed the entire interpretation with the last line and reframed the poem. When I went back and read it again I looked at it in that context and gained even more. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your work. 9/10
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Review by Mariella Stift Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
The short story began strongly enough, but it deteriorated after a bit. It seems like you had the right idea in the first paragraph or two, but after that the majority of "showing" you did was with dialogue instead of imagery, which is generally just another form of telling. I liked most of the details you added and expanded from the prompt, but especially towards the end a few things you mention become redundant. I think you mentioned they lived in the Appalachains three times. It's also never explained why Gail actually came to Ruby and John's house and there wasn't enough information to clearly infer it. The grammar and format could also be improved. I recommend going over it again and trying to sort out Gail's motivations as if she were the main character, which I sometimes find helpful in my own writing when struggling to write a realistic character. If you find yourself struggling with imagery, I suggest paraphrasing a section of your original work several times, reading it over and seeing what worked and what didn't.

Overall, I think there were plenty of things that worked and plenty of things that didn't. It seems like this could become a very interesting read if you work through some of it. 6/10
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Review of Crisis Averted  Open in new Window.
Review by Mariella Stift Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey there, I found this really interesting, and surprisingly realistic. I think you did a really good job with the wording it seemed to flow very nicely. At the beginning in the first and second paragraph there were a few places where I thought first time readers, including myself, could get a little confused, but overall I had a clear view of what was going on. I think you did a really good job on this challenge and was wondering if you'd maybe take a look at my work, I only have one piece out right now. I'd really value your opinion. If not it's completely fine, I just read your work and saw a really competent author. Good job, keep up the awesome writing.
-Mariella
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