A nostalgic reflection on the wild days of youth. We are taken back to the vibrant atmosphere of rock gigs in a Soviet cinema turned nightclub.
The vivid descriptions of the unconventional crowd, complete with demonic nicknames, metal, leather, and towering platform boots, paints a picture of a subculture united in a quest for uniqueness.
Amidst the camaraderie, the menacing presence of tracksuit-clad "ghouls" is introduced. These, in their pursuit of conformity, become the antagonists in this drama. The author captures the chaos and exhilaration of youth, where moshing and music are juxtaposed with the real-world threats lurking outside the club.
The piece reflects on the passage of time and the evolution of perspectives, acknowledging that what once seemed like harsh confrontations were, in essence, childish quarrels that many eventually outgrow. Ultimately, it serves as a poignant reminder of the transient nature of youth and the choices one makes on the path to maturity.
This story paints a vivid picture of the winter scene. The narrative lensing, seeing the world through the young fox’s eyes, is effective. The reader is forced to see snow for the first time, from the viewpoint of a kit.
Wow. Great action to kick things off. The series of questions that follows forces the reader to write their own story, to fill in the blanks. What happened? Powerful.
This is an emotionally-charged story, of love, hope and the magic of Christmas. The reader is left wanting to know more about Amy’s life, her past, and how she adapts to her new situation.
The rich descriptions create a poignant atmosphere. Amy's festive attire. The busy mall, with its lights and decorations. The contrast between the happy, laughing children enjoying themselves and Amy's silent mood is striking.
The story effectively explores themes of acceptance, belonging, and the unspoken bonds within family. The mother's internal fear, that Amy might wish for something beyond her reach, adds a relatable and emotional element to the narrative. There is a subtext there that what she really fears is that the child will reject her.
Palpable tension builds as Amy approaches Santa. The way she regards everything in silence. This is nicely resolved when Amy returns to her step mother, grabbing her hand.
The final line gives the reader a sense that things will indeed improve for the child. That her life with her new family could be a joyful one.
From a story telling perspective, it might be better to defer some of the description in the first paragraph, instead sprinkling them in as the story progresses. For example, “her abundant curly red hair” is well described later with “smell of shampoo was strong in her curly auburn hair”.
This would allow the story to start later with something like: 'She clutched “Aggie’ tightly in her right arm'. Starting with action and leaving questions in the readers mind (who is Aggie, why is she clutched tightly?) is a good way to hook a reader from the very start.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sothach
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.23 seconds at 10:21pm on Sep 22, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
