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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sneakysmeagol
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5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Starship Sentry  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.0)
you have a very high-tech dog here! i like the way it's constructed to go from obviously Sci-Fi to a dog greeting his master after a date. after you're done reading it, it makes more sense. very good overall, a little tedious, but worthwile to read. the way you fool your readers into thinking htis is in space, adn it's a robot is really quite interesting. Not much I would change here. possibly not as much conversing between him and his nose, although once you understood it it was funny, but you MIGHT want to shorten it a little bit. awesome stuff!
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Rated: E | (4.5)
I constantly wonder when nest <-- next great, good theme, really like that. the fact that something is dragging you down, will not leave, won't go away, you can't make it go away, and it stays, but you can't make it go away. the thing I like most about this, is the way you tied every verse together with a theme, and it's very eloquently written. the only thing I would change would be to possibly reword the second line of the second verse.
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