I saw your title in passing and was intrigued. In a very short poem you did get through one struggle that women go through, you encompassed it well. We're expected to make ourselves completely bare when men can have facial hair, leg hair, chest hair, everything but when we have it, it's considered gross. Thank you for sharing your poem, well done and keep writing.
Another interesting piece from you.The world of dating and relationships is tricky,lots of little details and differences are hard to navigate. I would go through and spell check, make sure all of your words are spelled correctly for easier reading and understanding.You're doing a great job,keep writing!
I loved this, I'm interested to hear what made you think of writing about this particular topic.You did a great job at showing how animals view humans cutting down large parts or all of their home. It's a real problem,and it's sad to see.
I liked the day by day logs of the animals seeing the forest change. I would recommend going through and spellchecking some of the paragraphs,there were a few typos that I noticed,but besides that,great job!
I loved your story! In just two shorts chunks of story, I want to read more, I want to see what happens to Tia, will she see Seth? Why isn't Mrs. Wright answering her letters? I want to follow the story, I want to see the outcome. Your word choice is great, it flows, it has interest in the short amount of words which is important. Great job and thank you for sharing.
I can't put in words how much I love this poem. It hit home for me, I felt it deeply. When I write, it is when I'm usually feeling great sadness, hurt, negative emotions. When I try to write a happy poem, it seemed ingenuine, fake, and unreal. It doesn't seem like something that flows. I don't usually revise my poems from when I write them because how I wrote them at the time is how they came from my head, how I was feeling at the time. Sometimes I will revise if I don't like a few lines of a stanza or how I rhymed it.
I love this poem, the flow, the words, the rhymes, the emotion. Thank you for sharing this.
I like what you've written. It's interesting, not a topic that I would usually read about. Things look good, I would just spell check and grammar check, one I see is the 'then' in the last line is supposed to be 'than', other than that I see no mistakes. Thank you for sharing!
This made me laugh. I love stories with cats in them, it's always unpredictable what is going to happen, it could go any way. I wasn't expecting the cat to short circuit the apartment, and I laughed at Randy's final thoughts of the dinner still being candlelit. Humor in those situations is always good, or bad, depending on who's there. All the elements of the story drew my attention, I wanted to see what happens. Thank you for sharing
For an attempt, this is very well done. You did the 5-7-5 throughout the stanzas, you kept a consistent theme, all of the stanzas together make sense and follow. The flow is good. You did a great job, I've been writing poetry for a while and I struggle with Haiku. Well done, and thank you for sharing.
Rhyming schemes my beloved. I love rhyming so much, it tickles a special part of my brain when it comes to poetry.
I love the schemes you have going here, the perfect rhymes, off rhymes, all of it. Finding the perfect words to go with your theme and the message you want to convey can be hard, but you did this perfectly. The flow, the sound, the word choice, very well done and put together.
I loved these lyrics. It is descriptive and has a lot of emotion to it, I could see them dancing, seeing the people aging and changing, growing apart, the sadness to that, the wishing time would stop and nothing would change. The flow of the lines is very nice, the word choice is perfect in my mind. You did a great job, thank you for sharing.
I was not expecting what I read. This was an interesting way to show how cancerous cells work and how they would act if they had conciousness. The personification of these cells is very different to see, and it made me laugh some at the end with the remark about eating their heart out if they didn't. I love this idea, very different and fun to read while having a darker tone to it. Thank you for sharing.
Love poems, and poems that rhyme. Two of my favorite things.
There was emotion in the words, pain, love, desire. I loved all of it.
The length of the lines was perfect, they balance each other out.
The words flowed well, you did a great job!
This was an interesting read, I did like it a lot. All of the descriptions of the monster, how it looked, and how it felt, how you gave it feelings, it added a lot to the story. Great job!
I love this poem. The descriptions, the choice of words, the flow. I can't think of much that would be said to improve, other than maybe making the lines all longer or breaking up to the longer ones so the length of each line is closer to the same. Other than that, great poem, keep writing.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/smartie909
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.11 seconds at 3:39pm on Nov 08, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
