Hello, david's world  .
My name is Erin and I'm looking forward to reviewing The Littlest Wizard today.
Overall Impression
Never mind what the Line-by-Line Review looks like, I truly enjoyed your story. I couldn’t wait to see how Rolo’s ‘audition’ turned out and what Lorku would do. I have three boys, and I’d definitely recommend your story to them. The storyline flows reasonably well and is very enjoyable.
Character Development and Conversation
I loved sweet Rolo! You could tell that he was insecure about what he was about to do. Pookita was just wonderful. I could just imagine this cat jumping and spinning in the air to catch a butterfly. I could picture those butterflies easily as well. I’d like to imagine that they left a sparkling trail behind them as they flew. Lorku was portrayed well as an egotistical wizard who obviously thought more of himself than he should have. It’s almost too bad that Queen Windella wasn’t portrayed more, however, since the story wasn’t really about her, it worked. 
Line-by-Line Review
Please keep in mind that everything here is purely my opinion. Feel free to take from it what you find useful and just toss the rest.
as thought they had
 I believe that there’s a typo here. “Thought” should probably be “though.”
the most magic tree.
I would consider changing “magic” to “magical.” To my ‘ear,’ that sounds better. Your choice though because it is your story after all. 
famous wizard, who had
I would recommend removing this comma. It doesn’t seem to be performing a ‘useful’ function here and actually disrupts the flow of the sentence.
another servant, who led
This is also another comma that isn’t needed. It’s separating off a part of the sentence that is important. You only surround a phrase in commas when the information could easily be removed without changing the meaning of the sentence.
couldn't event get
Oops. A ‘t’ snuck in there on you on the word “even.”
started out, with Pookita
Here is another comma that I personally believe could be left out. I like the idea of Pookita following along being an important idea.
his eyes, to focus
Darn sneaky commas. They keep leaping in there where they’re not needed. There’s a ‘rule’ I learned awhile back that I swear by. If you’re in doubt over a comma, leave it out. We have this natural tendency to throw them in all over the place whether they’re needed or not. I think it’s that other rule we learn in school that causes this. “If you pause when you’re reading it, toss in a comma.” lol They sort of contradict each other, don’t they?
take shape and to form butterflies.
I’d recommend removing the “to” here in this sentence. I believe it would make it stronger.
Conjurer of magnificence
I’ll leave this up to you, but would it be more ‘fun’ to capitalize “Magnificence”? Sort of make the title more pronounced? Your choice.
said nothing He just
Oh, no! A period ran away! lol
impressive procession and Rolo was
Ha! The comma needed here after “procession” must have moved itself.  You should ‘catch’ one that needs removed up above and place it here.
and having conversation
I believe that placing an “a” before conversation would really help.
music to stop,.
There’s just some funny punctuation here. Also, this entire sentence that this piece is the end of seems to run on quite a bit. I’m sure there’s a way to rewrite it, but nothing is immediately jumping to mind.
right at Rolo, and he knew
While both of these parts on either side of this comma are complete thoughts, it is also possible to leave this comma out due to how short they are. However, it’s also perfectly fine to leave it there. It’s one of those funny rules that just doesn’t make any sense. 
Windella's throne, Pookita
Ooh. You have complete thoughts on both sides of this comma without a connecting word. You might want to consider switching it to a semicolon instead. They can be fun.
very surprised, pookita.
Two minor things here. The comma isn’t needed and you just forgot to capitalize “Pookita.”
“Fairies of th Great Tree!
Darn “e” meandered off. You’d better catch it and put it where it belongs.
Sultan's of the east and the great King's
Both of these apostrophes are not needed as they’re not really possessing anything. The way you use these two words in this sentence is in the plural form.
Lorku-the great
Is this his title? If so, you might consider dropping that hyphen and capitalizing “great.” Just a thought.
wave of his hand lightning flew form
Two things here. There needs to be a comma after “hand” and “form” should be changed to “from.”
dragons head.
In this case “dragons” is possessive and needs an apostrophe, “dragon’s.” Also, the “and” that follows this particular period isn’t really needed. However, your choice!
watching he young
Oh, darn. A “t” waltzed away here. It should be “the young.”
Rolo looked to Queen Windella,.
Pesky punctuation. You have both a comma and a period here.
into his, hand, and
Go ahead and remove the comma before “hand.”
dance around the dragons head.
Again, this is the possessive form of “dragons.” Go ahead and place an apostrophe in there. Also, you began this particular sentence with “And.” It could be dropped if you’d like.
he fairies, and began snapping
This comma isn’t needed due to the fact that the second half of this sentence is not a complete thought.
The Dragon
This is one of the few times you capitalized “dragon.” You might need to decide which way you’d like it to be.
“My dear wizards, Thank
Well, hmm… If you meant for this to be a comma, then “Thank” wouldn’t be capitalized.
better Than to challenge
Just a random capitalized word here.
Lorku-the great, and , Rolo, the littles wizard,
Way too many commas in this sentence. Go ahead and remove the comma after “great” and “and.” Also, it should be “littlest.”
shoulder, and looked around
This comma isn’t needed here either. That whole “complete sentence rule.”
And pookita said, “Meow.”
You just missed capitalizing “Pookita” here.
As a general thought on this story as a whole, you use “then” a lot. You might want to consider taking them out. It’s a redundant word and sort of grates the ‘reading nerves’ after awhile. Also, you start a lot of sentences with “and” that should probably just have that word dropped. Normally, it’s used sparingly and to bring more focus on that one sentence. So, just a thought.
One more thought and then I’ll leave you alone. In the third paragraph, you mention how Wendella had gotten harder to please over the years, but then you switch tracks and talk about how the wizards were now attempting to steal sticks from the Great Tree. It doesn’t explain why or how she was harder to please. That might be something you want to explore or even possibly remove from the story all together.
Final Thoughts
Now, take a moment and ignore that mess up above my final thoughts. I do not go through all of that just to tell you that your story was horrible and evil. I do that to help you make it better because I believe with all of my heart that it deserves to be the best it can be. I love your idea. I enjoyed your style of writing. I saw it as “simplistic,” which is exactly what is needed for a children’s story. So even that was perfect. You did a marvelous job! Thank you so much for sharing, and please, keep writing.
Erin
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