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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/skyreeta
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Review of Broken Will  Open in new Window.
Review by Skyreeta Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I really like the title of this piece. So often, titles can be overly cliche or overly/underly descriptive; this one seems a perfect fit though. I also like the form with no punctuation, as it gives a sense of rawness and blatancy to the words, which seems to fit with the poem. The diction is good, but some of the near rhymes are maybe a stretch, which for me personally, lessened the flow of the poem. And one small nit picky thing, just to bring it to your attention so that you can change it, I believe "his" in the ninth line is a typo that was probably intended to say "him"; that's unimportant, but just wanted to mention it. The poem gives a pretty accurate description of the person (or perhaps, rather I should say, feeling) that you write about. Some of the lines really add to this, such as "he drinks from a lonely cup" or "perplexion of the soul's mind." These phrases give a feeling of sincerity and truth to what you are saying, without being cliche. Good job, keep writing! And feel free to mention any other poems you'd like to have reviewed.
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