as I've read in your revieuw request you want to know whether your pace is good. It is! Its slow enough to get the details and fast enough to keep the story going. i woundn't change it.
You said you have it almost finished? Well, I want to read more, so could you upload the next chapters? It seems really interesting.
now I've read this story too, I'm surprised you've not started your own fantasy novel yet. You should really try that. I like the way you build up the suspence and danger. You have a good writing style, something I'm still working on. You also have a good sense for detail, without overdoing it, which is great. I hope to read more from you in the future.
first of all, I liked this very much. Secondly, why is it just a short story? There's a lot of potential in this. I liked the naming and the difference in speaking between the two characters. The setting make me think of Lord of the Rings, am I right? Anyway, keep up the good work.
I can see that you have good writing skills and therefore I want to know how this story continues. As for a title, I don't know yet where you want to take your story and in what genre it is setted. But as the last lines of this part of the story tell, 'Guard of Detrinon' would sound like a good title to me.
to begin I'm not an official reviewer, but I think you have a great story there. For as far I can tell, your sentences and pacing his good and the characters seem fine to me as well :) No problems with it.
The story was easy to read and the drama is definately not over the top. I like this way of writing, though I can't get into details myself like you can.
I enjoyed reading it and I hope to see more of this :)
the story is very good! Congratulations on writing this. The only thing you need to pay attention to is spelling your words. There are a lot of them that are spelled in a wrong way. If you clear that out, this story will read a lot easier and will be even better than it is now.
If you want to check out more pirate stuff, read my story too. I hope you can enjoy it. Let me now what you think of it :)
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