The premise of your story is an interesting one. I did, however, have a bit of trouble getting into it. Despite punctuation, it seemed like one run-on sentence to me. I think it would be greatly enhanced should you use a few more adverbs. There were also several spelling errors which I couldn't really get past as well as grammatically incorrect use of many words. There is inconsistent capitalization and the varying changes between point of view was making it difficult for me to follow the story. It switched from present to past tense in several sentences.
Example: "One of the officers noticed me beginning to run and they all began to chase after me I jumped down the stair well landing on my feet."
I think this could be a great story with some alterations as it has a very imaginative plot with interesting twists. Perhaps a little bit more setting and elaboration would help.
Thanks for writing...
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