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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sinthos
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Review by Sinthos Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This was amazing! The story started off great, and it ended addicting. The only comment I can make is that I think you should make the Drip.. Drip thing at the end, right before you so "I hope." This pause would make the chapter flow more, and I think it would effectively wrap up the chapter. I also think you need to italicize the voice inside the main characters head when it goes "What kind of ... people." This would give it its own voice instead of looking like a regular person is talking. If you do not like these suggestions sorry, but I think they will help the chapter. Great work!
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