This poem is sad and I could immedatley feel your pain and the sadness with in you. I can tell that you put ur heart and emotions into this poem. I use to feel this way all the time but I will let you know it gets Bette. Your pain go away and happiness will find its way to you.
Your poem is simply yet so filled with strong emotions. It flows nicely together and your word choice is simply yet powerful I really like how you used punctuation throughout the poem. I really enjoyed reading your poem and hope to read more in the future.
Also I hope whatever tour going through is over soon and happiness finds its way to you. If you want to talk, I'll listen. Thank you for allowing me to read your poetry. Hope you have a wonderful day.
I instantly thought of wake me up when September ends by green day when I read this. I really enjoy that you stayed true to your synopsis. Also the fact that in the beginning it's starts off with beautiful imagery. The extra "why?" at the end kind of through me just a bit from the rest of the poem. It think it could also flow a little better than it does but nonetheless it still flows and comes together to make a beautiful poem. Keep up the good work though.
Although this poem was short it was still on topic and was strong. You did a good job , but I do see a few mistakes. On two of your line the first letters should be capitalized so that they are like the others. this poem could use a a little work but not much. overall I enjoyed reading this poem and it made me sad in a way. I could feel the emotion in your poem.
I noticed you would rhyme and then stopped rhyming in certain lines, sometimes this could make or break the power and intensity of the poem. I will say it was a great poem but when i did get to those three lines it didn't flow as well as it could have but nonetheless it was still good.
First off let me say I loved the story, it kept me interested and wanting to read more. I like the names you picked out for the characters as well. I think you should continue your story. I really want to know what Chris and Hailey are going to do and say next.
This actually made me cry, happy tear of course. I enjoyed the part where she was proud to tell her mom that the girl she was with was her girlfriend This story is excellent and well written and has a very good flow to it. Also it's very easy to follow.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/simplyjustjess
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.07 seconds at 2:36am on Dec 26, 2024 via server WEBX1.
| (4.5)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
