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2 Public Reviews Given
5 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Charles Nasby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice attention catcher! I liked your descriptive language and how you made his feelings seem palpable. There were a couple aspects of it, however, that diminished seriously from the reading experience. First of all, you switched verb tenses a lot. It would make it a lot more coherent if it were all in present tense or all in past tense. The other thing that could be improved was the choppiness of it all. There seemed to be little to no conjunctions, and it didn't flow smoothly. Overall, though, pretty good!
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Review by Charles Nasby Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow! It was really cool how you took something pretty boring and normal, troubleshooting a computer, and made it into a downright impressive story. I especially liked your descriptive language, really pulling me into the story instead of just having plain dialogue. The double spacing also made it visually nice. All in all, great job!
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