I liked this part very exciting hooking me through out the whole story. I was sitting in my third period Jrotc class. it seemed just like any other normal day. Until their was a loud scream coming from outside the classroom. It then suddenly got really quiet to where the whole classroom knew something was wrong. Then a couple of seconds passed by and you could hear a really loud propellor coming over the school. It was shaking the whole classroom. Suddenly you could hear another loud noise which was the engine giving out. The lines I have highlighted really caught my attention. Yes, there are things that need to be corrected but the over all meaning of these things are what held me to this story.

These lines stood out to me for the way you described them: The moon was Blood red, and the sky was Blackish Auburn due to the meteors falling from the sky. I could imagine seeing the sky you described in this sentence I would have love to see more descriptions like it for it is a great show and not tell line. What do I mean? Well the line I highlighted let me see in my mind the color of the moon and sky. While, the line just in front of it is a telling line for it tells me the sky is like midnight but leaves me guessing into how it is like midnight.

I liked the way you used this point of view in first person it worked well in this piece. I was able to feel as if it was I that was having this dream. At the end I did wonder, why the children where running from the Sargents in charge of the class?

The plot was an interesting one starting with sitting in class when you could hear the engine of a plane overhead give out then there was a loud noise of the plane crashing into the building. The fallow up is where you help look for survivors and end up finding much more including those both lucky enough to come out unharmed, the unlucky ones with limbs twisted and broken and others no longer breathing. Once the survivors had been gathered together outside in the field. They found that together they might not survive do to meteors hurling down from the sky. One of the sargents had managed to get canteens filled with water passed out before the children ran off scared and for cover, while others just ran, and some went looking for family.

I would have love to had more descriptions of what things looked like. The best line I could find was: The moon was Blood red, and the sky was Blackish Auburn due to the meteors falling from the sky. I could see the way the sky was colored and what color the moon was by just reading this line.

I have to say I did find many things in need of help in this piece. I will point a few of the things in need of corrections out it is your choice on how you use my suggestions and ideas. I do use Microsoft Word with American-English when I am going over to see what is in need of corrections.

I was sitting in my third period Jrotc JROTC class. (The reason I pointed this out is that it is that JROTC is an acronym and there fore caries the right to be capitalized any time it is used in a sentence.)

it It seemed just like any other normal day. (please do not forget to use a capital letter at the start of a sentence.)

Until their there was a loud scream coming from outside the classroom. (I know how hard this one is. I to have a habit of using the word that sounds right when I but when I go back over the piece I will find that I did use the right sound but the wrong spelling for the spot. In this line you used the word their when you needed the word there. The word their is used as a possessive determiner (followed by a noun), being a possessive form of they. The word in need is there can be used in the following ways:
as a pronoun (to introduce the subject of the sentence): There's a spider in the bath.
as an adverb: Wait there until I get back.
as an interjection: There, that didn't hurt so much, did it?)

I was traumatized with fear. (Passive Voice - For a livelier and more persuasive sentence, consider rewriting your sentence using an active verb (the subject performs the action, as in "The ball hit Catherine") rather than a passive verb (the subject receives the action, as in "Catherine was hit by the ball"). If you rewrite with an active verb, consider what the appropriate subject is - "they," "we," or a more specific noun or pronoun.) I would suggest a revised sentence like this: Fear traumatized me.

I could feel the heat against my face, as the meteors were being slammed into the fields nearby. (This is a passive sentence. If we look at the highlighted words we find that they are not really needed in your sentence, when removed they turn the sentence into an active sentence.)

I love the idea you have here with this dream story and see real potential in it that is why I have been hard on your story. I feel that even with how new to the site you are you as a writer have great ability to put your dreams and imagination down in words. I give to you an offer to go back over this piece in better detail after you have had a chance to edit this.