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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/silverbear
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Review by Bear Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
It's official...I hate you. You're too good.

This is good. Damned good. It has all the elements of a very publishable novel: good story, good writing, good characters...I could go on.

The author has researched, referenced and related enough factual information to really support his story, and because of that, suspension of disbelief is an easy matter for the reader.

The characters have character and are portrayed well, if a bit shallowly. I'd like to see more depth in that area. Also, there are so many characters involved that it's a little difficult to keep track of them all.

The conversations and "patter" between characters is smooth, easy to read and very believable. With a little more help, they'd be easier to visualize and that is the one thing I would really like to see worked on.

The storyline is new and inventive and well thought out. The introduction of new plot elements is smooth, but the convolutions arising from those elements gets confusing. It's not easy to see where or why some of the story is going.

I guess my criticisms boil down to these:
1) The characters need more flesh.
2) I, personally, would like to see some more description of the physical surroundings, and more senses brought into the descriptions...the sound, color and smell of the locations. I don't mean go all Hemmingway on it, but give us more to go on.
3) A little forshadowing would be nice. Where is the story going as we read it?

This is, by far, the best work of fiction I've read here at Writing.com. This one's going to go far, and I want more!!

(post script: The title is a bit incorrect, isn't it? A codex refers to documents on leaves or sheets of paper as opposed to in scroll form. Calling scrolls or clay tablets a codex is a contradiction, it would seem.)
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