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Review of Sentience  Open in new Window.
Review by Shifty Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Oh my! It seems I've stumbled upon another newbie!

Welcome! I saw your work on the 'read a newbie' area of the site, and needless to say your story really interested me! It was fun to read and grabbed my attention, giving me something to think about. However, it was a little hard for me to read since all your text is so squashed together. If you used double spacing, it'd make this awesome piece much easier on the eyes to read! I also noticed a few grammatical errors, so it may be helpful to look over that.

I do hope you improve!
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