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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/shayemarlow
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8 Public Reviews Given
8 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Licky Licky  Open in new Window.
Review by Shaye Marlow Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well that was... completely unexpected. *Smile* You gave some excellent visual imagery, the horror, and yet it was just a tad funny. Your use of "you" instead of he/she/I was interesting. I didn't think I liked it, but I quickly started reading it as if it was a more common POV. I also thought your portrayal of young male reasoning and verbal responses were very apt. Thank you for the story!
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Review of Work Fantasy  Open in new Window.
Review by Shaye Marlow Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
So I'm guessing this was written by and aimed at men. That said, I am female and did get a bit turned on reading it, so well done. It describes the physical very well, such as her "soft hands", etc. I think the author could have gone into the characters' heads a bit deeper, for example, was he super nervous about this very important meeting, was sex usually missionary style boring for them, etc. Though I see this is a chapter, so these things may very well be dealt with in another part of the book. Another thing, for me at least: a bit of suspense, some build-up would have been appreciated, things I'm under the impression are a huge part of erotica. Again, may have happened in the previous chapter. Thank you for the story!
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Review of Second Chance  Open in new Window.
Review by Shaye Marlow Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This story evokes an emotional response very well, well done. I also really admired the author's skill with writing flashbacks, which often easily lose my attention. These told a story and kept my interest. I also felt like you got into the main character's head very well, eloquently explaining where he was in life and his motivations.

An idea: An impossibly handsome doctor would be so easy to fall for... perhaps it would be more interesting if he were not that great to look at?
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