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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/shastakola
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3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by shastakola Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
WOW sounds like this could have had a bad outcome!! Inside you were more than likely screaming for help, but on the outside played it calm and as cool as a cucumber. This story has a good start but kind lost my interest, because I do not know anything about boats or towing them, and the you got it right back with the dangerous situation with your arm. I feel if you had used more descriptive language, my attention would have never been lost! I think as the story is, it suits the use of a memory, but if you want others to remember it try to add some juicy words, to make the reader feel like they were there, such as describing smells, or the weather, maybe you could describe the beach in greater detail!
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Review by shastakola Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Wonderful imagination! I personally like the first person view more, not saying I do not like the third person. Reading the first person story makes me feel more connected to the story, like I am the one there.
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