Hello Sumojo. After reading this short poem against a prompt, I found it very lucid and encouraging. Although there are several words of wisdom, but it seems you have chosen some of them very carefully to give it a holistic look. Especially, it ends with a positive note to life and it's behaviour. One observation only, you may consider correcting the third line to" Have a good night's sleep". Phrases put in great manner. Feel a little wiser after going through this. Keep writing. Cheers!
Hello laya_v. This was a good read as you have aptly tried to relate wisdom with old age and the owl. The writing style of yours's is catchy and the terms used are quite unique at times. I liked the message conveyed in the line "How much experience does one really gain?" This speaks volumes of our understanding of the pseudo-understanding of life and it's ways. Still, undeterred, we move on in our lives and that is the beauty of living. Overall, a great message that is sent over and in good writing. Write on! Cheers!
Well, quite an effort, I must say. I liked the rhyming, it's flow was subtle. The theme was contemporary and apt. Thumbs up for that too. The title is powerful. Small things you may revisit to make this piece more lucid. The last paragraph depicts the eventuality of a Hashtag age, and I believe you can make it even more appealing. The last two lines for instance could have been more bold and prompt to give a photo finish. Overall a good poem, and I would definitely love to see more from you. Happy writing.
Well, a very apt and prompt thought shared here I must say. Brevity and clarity are mention worthy. Moreover ,it seems you want to avoid hypocrisy as everybody wants to get seen is the buzz and although there are people who might try to hide it with extra cautious activities, there is no denial to it. Everyone wants to be in the limelight at these times. Well written, with only one typo error I believe in the fourth line , 'Senn' should be 'Seen'. Pls correct it. I also liked the similie with stars as they are all great in themselves, but as we don't have a name for all, not all of them are famous and thus struggling hard to outshine others to get human attention and thereby a name, quite similar to humans. A good reading experience. Loved it!
A very unique creation without doubt. Even the commonplace concept achieves heights by the way of presentation. The Pencil gets personified, it dances on the floor...I really liked that part. Every creation in its own sense is a variety of dance itself. Very much for this poem too. The dance is in tune to the melody mentioned at the onset. It is not haywire, it is controlled and thus creative. A good poem to review, I liked its brevity with precision.
Honestly...a good poem. I liked the tempo as well as the hidden thoughts that some stanzas instill.
A blood red center
from dark to light
a color none better
compliments white
Some stanzas could' ve been more brightened up although.
With golden petals
that shine like the sun
warmth that melts metals
ripe with compassion
Although if the colour of gold symbolises something more, I might be wrong about that.
And I also love the way the poem turned....If it depicts a woman, even better. Especially the last two stanzas. Punctuations are important, you may start putting them, as they'll put more weight on your words and depth to your sentences. A good work to review.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/shankha
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.13 seconds at 1:01pm on Apr 04, 2025 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "