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Review of Stay  Open in new Window.
Review by seawillow Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Here are some key things I like about this poem:
• The feeling of setting—seems this has been going on a while with this girl. “As night fades away, Each time we talk, More of you I see, gave me this impression. And on the other hand, I felt that the poem described one night, with reminiscing of other times: I just want you awhile, Maybe past sunrise: Of course, this could be saying that the girl does not spend the night. I was not sure after reading the poem several times. Perhaps the author intends this.
• Emotional strength (Each breath that I take shallow and quick; my heart’s in a whirl) is powerful. This created tension.
• Thinking directly of the girl and how she looks—makes it very real, and connects the reader more
• The contrast of the clock, time ticking away, versus wanting her to stay—touch and involve the reader in a very good way; this was my favorite.
• I think we all have had those times that we hold dearly, and it seems the time runs out so fast, in particular, if something has not been resolved to our satisfaction, and then the time is up.
My least favorite thing about the poem:
“God please, come back here, do not disappear.” For me, the line occurred in every stanza and lost some emotional effect. I would suggest it occur no more than three times.
Overall, I like your poem very much. It has a good punch.
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