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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/seancrow
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4 Public Reviews Given
4 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of MIND  Open in new Window.
Review by Corvidae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
only problem with this is that it is not long enough, have you thought about extending the metaphor of painting into something else, also it is slightly verbse on some lines such as "Which is bright and lively at first" --> "bright and lively, at first /bright and lively at first" what do you think email me back
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Review of Bury your dead  Open in new Window.
Review by Corvidae Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
i liked this poem, but found it a little hard to read because there is no spacing, have you considered paragraphing each point? (if you had a reason to do this-please ignore me) also the meter of your rhyme is a little off in the lines You’ll never have another opportunity.
Death is the final straw.
There are no second chances;
This is Death’s highest law.
i think that
no other opportunities.
Death is the final straw.
There are no second chances;
This is Death’s highest law.
would rhyme better.

But i loved it, you make some good points about the nature of death.
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