I found this story quite good. I like how you've used italics to show Larry's thoughts, and that it just comes naturally to you that it's his thoughts. I also like how you haven't used excessive adjectives to describe what's happening. Another thing that I think is good is how you list his actions, e.g. Item A. Item B. Item C instead of: Item A happened, then Item B happened, then Item C happened. You also incorporated the words that you had to require well. However, I would suggest that you had said who the man that Larry spoke to was, rather than just putting his reply there.
Overall, it was a good read!
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