I have tremendous amount of respect for screenplays, considering im also someone who enjoys writing them, and understands the difficulty of building characters through action, and dialogue. When comes to giving an opinion on dialogue its difficult, because when you have an actor speaking your dialogue it will come out better than expected or not as good, but in your case ill judge that it would come out ok. I mean the dialogue is nothing short of special but your action. I thought you wrote your action very well, I mean that's what I enjoyed in this screenplay was the action. Another thing is the formatting. Im not sure that the website just wouldn't let you post your script in the correct format or you just didn't format correctly.
Overall only two things i seen that need touching up on, thanks for sharing I really enjoyed reading this.
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