I am impressed with your unique response to this prompt. I feel like you made a very good point about patience.
You made excellent use of WML in this entry. The words you wrote flowed.
One tiny bit of feedback. While you did make it clear that the quote was from the bible, it took me a minute to find where the quote ended and your writing began. Just a suggestion but you could use double quotes to separate the verse from the rest of your entry.
Other than that, you made some excellent points about patience and did a good job addressing the prompt.
This is a very observant poem. I can see this woman clearly in my head. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people like that who are usually homeless. Either because unsympathetic people kicked them out or by choice.(Though if they did choose it must've been under extreme duress.)
I am glad you chose this lady as the subject of your poem. It highlights an issue so many of those in power in my area choose to ignore. Thank you.
I didn't notice anything wrong with this poem. It flows smoothly and held my attention all the way through. You took a difficult subject matter and handled it well. Keep writing!
Reviewing Dreams of Flight for I Write. This poem makes use of rhyme and repetition throughout. The prompt asked for a High Poem. Can't get much higher than flying. Unless you leave Earth.
Sorry, that last bit of my review wasn't very useful.
This poem is whist-full, rhythmic and could have some subtext. The last line of the poem talks about flying away with someone. Is it somebody or the birds the narrator wishes to fly away with? My heart says it could be a lover but my head wants to second guess that. I'm not sure it was intentional but I do like how subjective this last line is.
The video embedded at the bottom of the poem re-enforces the flight imagery throughout this piece. It plays smoothly and is a great visual to include.
I do not see any grammar or spelling errors to correct. Although I wasn't sure what form of poetry this was supposed to be. Free verse is fine as is any other form. You met the vital criteria of the activity this was written for, it is exactly eight lines and does a good job addressing the prompt.
I think this is a good entry for the book you were making. I had no idea Avril was still writing and performing songs.
So I don't have a whole lot of feedback. The video embedded worked and the entry fit the activity it was written for. The words you used to describe the song matched what I saw in the video.
There weren't any grammar or spelling errors. I found the use of emoticons in the entry to enhance the writing refreshing. I haven't read many items that do that.
I liked the story. The beginning really puts the reader into the action. And, despite past Nathan's arrogance, I am glad he was able to learn from his mistakes.
Just a few minor things stood out to me. I'm not sure how space travel works in Nathan's timeline but ten million light years is a long trip. It currently takes seven months to get a ship to Mars. Even if wormholes exist, are they natural and how does Nathan keep them stable?
I'm not sure I've heard the word subduction used when it's not in reference to plate tectonics. But all said and done this was a good sci-fi piece.
I liked how you broke the narrative down into smaller chunks. It made it flow better.
That power the fire bearers had sounds like a terrifying burden. I halfway thought that Phil would destroy himself trying to master his ability. I liked the slow build showing how Phil got his power from his dad, then read about his other family member's experiences, finally mastering his ability when he most needed to.
I didn't find any spelling or grammar mistakes. The pacing was really good. Thank you for allowing me to review your story.
This girl has been through a whole lot! She had a lot of courage to get away. And I really cared about what happened to the character.
I loved the climatic action and I'm glad Ken got arrested. I also liked that you included a plug for the National Human Trafficking Hotline at the very bottom. That global problem is one that needs awareness. Too many people loose their lives to that vile institution.
You captured the details of the first two months pretty well. I am guessing Beth is pretty skinny. Most women don't start to show until after their fifteenth week. Other than that, no issues with the character she was relatable even though I haven't been in her exact situation.
I do have one or two minor things that could be adjusted. Cocaine mainly comes from the leaves of the Coca plant. Heroin is an opioid derived from morphine, which originally came from the poppy plant. Was Beth addicted to both? Because you mention heroin as her drug of choice in one of the first paragraphs. Then in later paragraphs and conversations with her pimp it's crack/cocaine she had been using. If it's both then feel free to ignore me.
The other thing was you kept calling them clients. Prostitutes or pimps usually refer to their customers as Johns. At least in the nineties and early two thousands.
Other than those two very minor things, I liked your story! It's a good read and I feel like you did a great job.
I read this intro to a novel you wrote. You did write a great description of Henry. I do wonder what his nightmare is about. I assume you plan to reveal that in a later part of the novel.
My one piece of feedback is that while the work is free from spelling and any noticeable grammar errors, there is a weird description. You called Henry's eyes "dishwater brown" maybe I'm not doing my dishes right but I've never had the water turn brown. But then again I once compared my own mother's eyes to a bottle of root-beer so I have no room to talk about weird. Maybe instead of dishwater you could compare them to amber or if they're really dark, an onyx— the stone not the Pokémon.
It's just a suggestion. Anyways, over all, I am very impressed with what you wrote. Good luck with your novel.
Interesting...it's a sentence. So you met the criteria for the prompt. It does peak my curiosity and leaves me wondering what was yellow and brave? Was it some sort of animal like a golden retriever, or a canary? Was it a construction vehicle? Or maybe a knight with a yellow crest? Or a dandelion?
Sorry I'll stop, you probably didn't mean to make this into a riddle or a guessing game. I do have a suggestion, if you get the opportunity I think you could make this into an opening line to a longer work. Good job; keep writing!
This poem is exactly what I needed right now. It's short and to the point. Made me feel energized to take controll of life. Although I don't think I can find its wotsits.
Love the illustration with the French caption beneath a cheese curl. It translates easily without the aid of Google.
You produced some interesting pieces during your time here. This is an interesting perspective on using AI. I didn't find any mistakes with it.
The examples you gave of AI generated writing were fascinating. I guess a lot of people would have trouble telling the difference between these and an amateur author.
On a side note, Maxgriffin is thinking of doing a Newsletter for Authors about this topic and copyright issues. But I think you may have linked that note in your work already.
This is an interesting entry. I have no idea what the prompt was so I can't say you didn't answer the prompt. There are some technical issues I would like to point out.
I was under the impression that acronyms such as GPS were always capitalized. So you might want to do so in this entry.
Also the parentheticals you included bothered me. Not only were they not punctuated correctly, the first one seemed superfluous and the second one was very disapproving. It does not seem necessary to point out that WDC is something besides God. Frankly I find it a little rude to single out the website you are submitting this piece on. The first parenthetical would have been better punctuated with an emdash. You can do this by using the WML command {emdash} which inserts a long dash between the next words and the rest of the sentence. Just remember to put another {emdash} at the end of your aside if you choose to continue the sentence.
You did have some unnecessary details in this entry. Was it important to your main point that your daughter was in the car or that you talk hands free? If it isn't consider not including these details in your narrative.
Thats all the feedback I have for you. This has potential to be a decent piece of proselyting. If you do some editing.
This poem highlights dance's ability to express feelings. It's something that I had forgotten. I like the line about "dance when you're sorrowful" a refreshing reminder that this physical art form is not always about joy and love. In all fairness I'm not sure I can find a way to improve this piece. It's wonderful and inspiring it makes me want to go design my own dance moves. Thank you for writing this poem.
These Drabbles paint a vivid scene of bush fire season in Australia. I like how the final one puts a twist on things. No one expects the fire fighter to start a fire.(Unless you know the kind of fire fighter I know. My husband was a fire bug and firefighter for his town. Thats not relevant though. Moving on!)
I don't think it matters but in the third Drabble, one of the double quotes is facing the wrong direction. It's a minor detail you don't have to fix.
Including the prompt at the top is probably a good idea. I've had a few of my Drabbles reviewed by people who are not participating in s 's activity. They get confused on why I leave out details in the story. Including the prompt clarifies what form you were aiming for.
Maybe it's just because I'm terrible at geography but you mention Rocky Hills in the first Drabble. In the second there's a meeting at Parkerville Tavern. Oh wait, never mind it is the same area. I just got mixed up by the place name in the tavern's name.
Thats all the feed back I have for you. Good luck with the next two weeks.
I have never heard of a septolet...and neither had my spell check till I was today years old. Thank you for including a definition. Moving on.
I like how the two opposites kind build the image. It makes an image in my mind like crossing a threshold of non existence to being fully alive.
I am curious about the phrase at the end "All is Well". I assume it is part of the prompt that lead to this poem. Is there a reason to capitalize the words All and Well? Is it a song title or is there some higher meaning encapsulated in this mantra? (Sorry, ran out of synonyms for words.)
The image of the male cardinal sitting on a snowy branch that accompanies this poem is interesting. It definitely grabs one's attention.
I don't see spelling errors and the poem follows the rules for the form used. I don't think grammar and poetry ever mix, but I could be wrong. Anyways nothing needs fixing. This is a satisfying read even though I'm not sure what it means.(I've merely included my perceptions. If I'm wrong, please ignore me.)
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