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3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Elizabeth Sheryl Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
haha, I loved it.
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Review by Elizabeth Sheryl Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
[i]When I feel real.

Small moments of realization[/i]

I would change the word realization to something else, maybe understanding or enlightenment, just because both words at the end of the sentances have real in it so it just doesn't flow as well.

the same idea for this part;
[i]And when I've finally grasped it,
It blows away - yet again,
Yet it again, it escapes.
Escapes in the wind...[/i]

the "yet it again, it escapes" isn't neccesary(sp?)

I REALLY like the idea of this, describing those few moments of tranquility and a loss of self-conciousness, it's a great topic. I think with a little work to get it to "flow" a little better it could be amazing.
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