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Review by Sarah Lea Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I think you have a good start. I think the most confusing thing for me is the voice of the piece. It's almost a mix of 1st and 3rd person. It just isn't clear if the voice is a narrator or the main character. If it's a main character, how is the person witnessing this all?

The piece does set the scene fairly well and you also describe the character and surroundings fairly well. Keep up the good work! :)
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