I think you have a good start. I think the most confusing thing for me is the voice of the piece. It's almost a mix of 1st and 3rd person. It just isn't clear if the voice is a narrator or the main character. If it's a main character, how is the person witnessing this all?
The piece does set the scene fairly well and you also describe the character and surroundings fairly well. Keep up the good work! :)
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sarahlea1717
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 8:51am on Jan 11, 2025 via server WEBX2.