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1
1
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
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*Balloon*This is a review brought to you by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon*Balloon*


"Essence of Character" was honestly a well-thought off and creative survey! You had me pondering, thinking back about books and authors I read before. I realized how much more there are to a great novel, its aspects. (Not that I don't know, but it honestly triggered some things I hadn't thought about, for example, culture). That's why characters play such an important role in a story. Once you dislike them, it sort of ruins the story because basically, the reader is supposed to look from THEIR point of view. Characters, you remind me, play such a huge part in a story. Isn't it interesting?

*Note*Thanks for sharing! Your effort and time spent is greatly appreciated!*Note*

*Cat*Visit my Mentor and Mentee*Cat*
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dstaley


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2
2
Review of I Might  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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FIRST IMPRESSION

The first thing I thought about after reading this was, "How sweet!" It was truly a fun and delicate poem that made me feel like a little girl again. The rhymes added extra flavour to your piece. All I can say is... this was honestly a well-executed piece. Oh, and I forgot to mention... cute title! That was one of the things that captured my attention, at least. *Smile*


QUESTIONS/QUERIES

None. Great job explaining what kind of form your poetry was written in. As I am not exactly poetry-writing material, it was nice to know.


GRAMMATICAL MISTAKES/ ERRORS / SUGGGESTIONS
I did not see anything that needs correction. Neat job editing your work.


REVIEWER'S FAVOURITES
But tempted though I am, I know what’s right.
I also know what’s wrong… but still I might.
I like the fact you ended the poem with the words "I might", which is also the title of your poem. Yes, there are certainly possibilities!


LAST THOUGHTS

It was honestly a fun time exploring through a girl's head. I have to admit, it was a satisfying read! Here are 5 golden stars for your effort. *Bigsmile*


*Note*Thanks for sharing! Your effort and time spent is greatly appreciated!*Note*

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dstaley


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3
3
Review of Thrifty Times  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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*Balloon*This is a review brought to you by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon*Balloon*



Hello, Professor Moriarty! I saw this on the "sponsored items list" and therefore came to check it out.

Neat folder! I always have problems storing stories and stuff I do for WDC. Keeps falling out, LOL. *Wink* I like the sortment of this. "100 word stories"? Specially meant for that very purpose? I feel it's a good idea... at least a pretty good one. *Smile*

I love the title. "Thrifty Times" is real creative. Another problem of mine is that I can't seem to think of the perfect title to name my folders. Hmmm... maybe I should also check out those stories of your's and see what I can get.

There's one thing you might think of adding... an image? It certainly might add some colour to the page! Anyway, that's my only suggestion. Keep it going.

*Note*Thanks for sharing! Your effort and time spent is greatly appreciated!*Note*

*Cat*Visit my Mentor and Mentee*Cat*
Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ Author Icon
dstaley


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"Cliché Story ChallengeOpen in new Window.



4
4
Review of Friendship  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Flower3* Hello Kristi! This is a review by your fellow WDC-mate, Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon, also known as Sarah. *Flower3**Bigsmile*


Something of your's has caught my attention today and I would like to offer you my thoughts. I guess I owe you this review from Omni's guestbook. *Bigsmile*

Item title
*Bullet* Friendship

What I liked *Thumbsup*

*Check1* This was a touching, heartfelt piece that is something I would read time and time again and not get bored with.
*Check1* It was an inspirational story and I was able to relate to it... on whole. I think everyone can.
*Check1* I liked the image you added to it. It made the piece look more colourful.
*Check1* The English you used was so deep and memorable, but yet easy to read and understand.
*Check1* The way you presented it!

*Question* Questions/Queries *Question*

*Exclaim* None.

*Cut*Places that needs some fixings *Paste*

*Bullet* I didn't see anything that needed any fixings. Good job editing your work! It's admirable. *Smile*

*Thumbsup*My Overall Rating*Thumbsdown*

5 *Star*s
Well, you should be aware that I'm not the sort of person who gives away 5-star reviews for free, but I believe your's totally deserves it, so here you go. *hands package over and chuckles*

*Idea*Last Thoughts*Idea*

Anyway, I just wanted to say this is a very touching and memorable piece -- not something easily forgotten! Thanks for sharing.



Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated.

Thanks for letting me review you,
Sarah

*Flower2* Check out the contest I am currently hosting! :
 Cliché Story Challenge Open in new Window. (E)
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5
5
Review of Ariadne  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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FIRST IMPRESSION

Wow! This was definitely a great read. The descriptions were so beautiful to read and imagine, especially in the second stanza. I loved the way you expressed your talent. This is certainly a masterpiece!


QUESTIONS/QUERIES

None


GRAMMATICAL MISTAKES/ ERRORS / SUGGGESTIONS
I did not see anything that needs correction.


REVIEWER'S FAVOURITES
A voyage of deep emotion,
in a vast ocean of love,
It made me, as the reader, truly able to SEE what you were expressing.


LAST THOUGHTS

For a job well-done, I would like to award this piece 5 stars. I can't imagine a better poet writing this than you.


*Note*Thanks for sharing! Your effort and time spent is greatly appreciated!*Note*

*Heart*Visit my Mentee!*Heart*
dstaley


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"Cliché Story ChallengeOpen in new Window.
6
6
Review of The Teddy Bear  Open in new Window.
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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*Balloon*This is a review brought to you by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon*Balloon*



CHARACTERS

In this piece, I feel the character was a really lovely person to get to know about. I could see her feelings well, almost understand it. She was very vividly drawn. Good job!


PLOT/SETTING

The plot here wasn't too bad -- simple and well-planned. I liked the way you ended the piece lightly. It made the read very satisfying! *Smile*


GRAMMATICAL MISTAKES/ ERRORS / SUGGGESTIONS
A young woman sat in her lonely apartment her only companion a stuffed teddy bear, which she clutched to her chest.
I feel there should be a comma (,) befor the word "only".

She hated her birthday, it had brought nothing but bad memories.
I think it would be much better if a semi-colon were to be used instead of a comma.


REVIEWER'S FAVOURITES
I enjoyed the part when she talked to herself, and finally decided to leave the place. The pace there was perfect, and the story didn't get too dry or boring.


OVERALL IMPRESSION

Well Jewel, you certainly made use of the words "teddy bear", "cupcake", and "a wagon" well. Overall, I found this to be a very great read. It was nice to get to know about the young woman. *Smile*


*Note*Thanks for sharing! Your effort and time spent is greatly appreciated!*Note*

*Cat*Visit my Mentor and Mentee*Cat*
Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ Author Icon
dstaley


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"Cliché Story ChallengeOpen in new Window.



7
7
Review of Halloween Party  Open in new Window.
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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CHARACTERS

The characters in this piece were very well described! I could easily visualize both Zak and Phil, and how they were like as children. I got to know them very well. Keep it goin'!


PLOT/SETTING

The plot for this story seems to be very well-planned, but a little typical. In this case, it feels right for your piece, though.


GRAMMATICAL MISTAKES/ ERRORS / SUGGGESTIONS

Zak, a short 11-year old with unruly red hair, elbowed his friend Phil in the side, then leaned over and whispered to him, “Their ain’t anyway a guy with no head could ride that horse.”
Do you mean to say "there" (the underlined word)? I know this is like some sort of slang or something, but their seems to be really off.

She was reading out loud from a book titled “Erie Tales From The Crypt”, the beams from a battery-powered “candle” providing the only light and casting long shadows across the floor.
I feel "erie" is mispelled. I think the correct spelling for it would be "eerie".

“No way!” wit no head he’d be dead.”
I don't think there should be an inverted comma (") after the exclamation mark, and the "wit" should be capitalized.


REVIEWER'S FAVOURITES

“Naw, I couldn’t lie.”

“Chicken.”

“Am not!”

“Are too.”

This really sounded like children arguing... Very fitting for the piece, I'd say! It makes me think you still have the "touch" for writing children stories... Sorry, no offense.


OVERALL IMPRESSION

I think you put tonnes of work into this piece! For what it's worth, I was very impressed. Is this a contest entry? If it is, I wish you the best of luck! If it isn't, well... go submit it already. Great job, Lyle, I can't wait to get a read on more of your works.


*Note*Thanks for sharing! Your effort and time spent is greatly appreciated!*Note*

*Heart*Visit my Mentee!*Heart*
dstaley


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"Cliché Story ChallengeOpen in new Window.



8
8
Review of Window To Heaven  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Flower3* Hello Carl! This is a review by your fellow WDC-mate, Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon, also known as Sarah. *Flower3**Bigsmile*


Something of your's has caught my attention today and I would like to offer you my thoughts *Bigsmile*

Item title
*Bullet* Window To The Sky

What I liked *Thumbsup*

*Check1* Fantastic title!
*Check1* Descriptions were easy but nice to read.
*Check1* Very interesting topic you chose to write!

*Question* Questions/Queries *Question*

*Exclaim* None!

*Cut*Places that needs some fixings *Paste*

*Bullet* This time, I didn't see anything. *Bigsmile* Great job... and keep up the good work!

*Thumbsup*My Overall Rating*Thumbsdown*

5*Star*s
*Question*Why?*Question*
*Bullet* For a job well done! Only someone like you could have written something this great!

*Idea*Last Thoughts*Idea*

I really loved reading this... It makes me really jealous at your skills. I'm learning to write poetry at school now... I'll be sure to show you mine when I post it here on WDC! I might just need your fabulous skills to help me, friend! *Smile*



Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated.

Thanks for letting me review you,
Sarah

*Flower2* Check out the contest I am currently hosting! :
 Cliché Story Challenge Open in new Window. (E)
Are you up to the task? Sept/Oct round OPEN.
#1555787 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author IconMail Icon
,
And my cNotes shop:
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9
9
Review of Faded Memories  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower3* Hello Carl! This is a review by your fellow WDC-mate, Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon, also known as Sarah. *Flower3**Bigsmile*


Something of your's has caught my attention today and I would like to offer you my thoughts *Bigsmile*

Item title
*Bullet* Gone Memories

What I liked *Thumbsup*

*Check1* I liked the title.
*Check1* The piece started of good. *Thumbsup*
*Check1* The descriptions were easy to process and imagine
*Check1* The content was pretty interesting
*Check1* The end was fantastic!

*Question* Questions/Queries *Question*

*Exclaim* None

*Cut*Places that needs some fixings *Paste*

*Bullet*Then you proceeded to tare it apart.
*Cut* "tare" should be spelled "tear"
*Bullet*Satan, has a place for all your kind
*Cut* After "satan", there is no need for a comma.

*Thumbsup*My Overall Rating*Thumbsdown*

4.5*Star*s

*Idea*Last Thoughts*Idea*

This was brilliantly creative and fun to read. Very enjoyable, I must say. Great job! Write on! *Bigsmile*



Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated.

Thanks for letting me review you,
Sarah

*Flower2* Check out the contest I am currently hosting! :
 Cliché Story Challenge Open in new Window. (E)
Are you up to the task? Sept/Oct round OPEN.
#1555787 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author IconMail Icon
,
And my cNotes shop:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
And YES! my new blog (who knew Sarah blogged, too?):
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10
10
Review of My Prayers  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Flower3* Hello Carl! This is a review by your fellow WDC-mate, Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon, also known as Sarah. *Flower3**Bigsmile*


Something of your's has caught my attention today and I would like to offer you my thoughts *Bigsmile*

This was a very interesting and different piece. It was very smooth, though, and a very enjoyable read. I did not see anything that needs correction. I like the way you praise God... It was very nice to the eyes. The starting line was very capturing and immediately pulled me in. Great job, my friend!

Thanks for letting me review you,
Sarah

*Flower2* Check out the contest I am currently hosting! :
 Cliché Story Challenge Open in new Window. (E)
Are you up to the task? Sept/Oct round OPEN.
#1555787 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author IconMail Icon
,
And my cNotes shop:
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11
11
Review of Old Home  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Flower3* Hello once again, Carl! This is a review by your fellow WDC-mate, Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon, also known as Sarah. *Flower3**Bigsmile*


Something of your's has caught my attention today and I would like to offer you my thoughts *Bigsmile*

Item title
*Bullet* Old Home

What I liked *Thumbsup*

*Check1* The title... it was perfectly fitting, to say the least. *Smile*
*Check1* The execution... perfect, once again
*Check1* Descriptive... and yet not too much... I can easily imagine it, and I'm not really imaginative.
*Check1* The great use of the English language -- clearly, it is meant for you! *Laugh*
*Check1* A great end

*Question* Questions/Queries *Question*

*Exclaim* None

*Cut*Places that needs some fixings *Paste*

*Bullet* None... I'm not surprised anymore

*Thumbsup*My Overall Rating*Thumbsdown*

5*Star*s
*Question*Why?*Question*
For a job well done!

*Idea*Last Thoughts*Idea*

I really, really loved this piece... I'm sure I'll be able to relate to it when I'm all grown up! *Laugh* Well, in another 50 years in the least... WEll, anyway, well done!



Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated.

Thanks for letting me review you,
Sarah

*Flower2* Check out the contest I am currently hosting! :
 Cliché Story Challenge Open in new Window. (E)
Are you up to the task? Sept/Oct round OPEN.
#1555787 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author IconMail Icon
,
And my cNotes shop:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
And YES! my new blog (who knew Sarah blogged, too?):
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12
12
Review of Blown In The Wind  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Flower3* Hello again, Carl! This is a review by your fellow WDC-mate, Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon, also known as Sarah. *Flower3**Bigsmile*


Something of your's has caught my attention today and I would like to offer you my thoughts *Bigsmile*

Item title
*Bullet* Blown in the Wind (ah...interesting title)

What I liked *Thumbsup*
The details! They were easy to imagine. The use of the English language was great... I like the way the piece flowed like waves without breaking somewhere... It was a nice read, to say the least. *Bigsmile*

*Question* Questions/Queries *Question*

*Exclaim* None, except where did you come up with ideas like this?

*Cut*Places that needs some fixings *Paste*

*Bullet* None, although I feel "alright" in "Maybe then I can pick up the pieces, alright." should be spelled "all right".

*Thumbsup*My Overall Rating*Thumbsdown*

5*Star*s
*Question*Why?*Question*
*Bullet* For a perfect execution!

*Idea*Last Thoughts*Idea*

I don't think anyone could've done a better job other than you... Great job!



Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated.

Thanks for letting me review you,
Sarah

*Flower2* Check out the contest I am currently hosting! :
 Cliché Story Challenge Open in new Window. (E)
Are you up to the task? Sept/Oct round OPEN.
#1555787 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author IconMail Icon
,
And my cNotes shop:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
And YES! my new blog (who knew Sarah blogged, too?):
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

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13
13
Review of Let Me Give  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Flower3* HI Carl. This is a review by your fellow WDC-mate, Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon, also known as Sarah. *Flower3**Bigsmile*


Something of your's has caught my attention today and I would like to offer you my thoughts (Well, I grabbed it out of your port) *Bigsmile*

Item title
*Bullet* Let Me Give

What I liked *Thumbsup*

*Check1* The title -- a perfect fit! I always have trouble naming the titles.
*Check1* The smooth flow of piece
*Check1* THe words you used
*Check1* The start and end was very capturing
*Check1* The content
WEll, basically, everything. *Laugh*

*Question* Questions/Queries *Question*

*Exclaim* None

*Cut*Places that needs some fixings *Paste*

*Bullet* None that I saw

*Thumbsup*My Overall Rating*Thumbsdown*

5*Star*s
Who can resist giving such a great piece 5 stars?

*Idea*Last Thoughts*Idea*

I like the idea of all your poems... about God. This one made particular sense to me, something I can relate to. I seem to take everything from Him, but never give anything... Great job, anyhow.



Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated.

Thanks for letting me review you,
Sarah

*Flower2* Check out the contest I am currently hosting! :
 Cliché Story Challenge Open in new Window. (E)
Are you up to the task? Sept/Oct round OPEN.
#1555787 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author IconMail Icon
,
And my cNotes shop:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
And YES! my new blog (who knew Sarah blogged, too?):
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Groups:
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"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."God's Way GroupOpen in new Window.




14
14
Review of Share  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Flower3* Hello Carl! *giggles* This is a review by your fellow WDC-mate, Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon, also known as Sarah. *Flower3**Bigsmile*


Something of your's has caught my attention today and I would like to offer you my thoughts *Bigsmile*

Item title
*Bullet* Share

What I liked *Thumbsup*

*Check1* The way you spoke about God... I am a Christian, and it's nice to hear all those nice words once in a while
*Check1* Very smooth and easy to read
*Check1* Not too draggy or dry... but perfect
*Check1* The rhymes! *Smile* I'm learning "rhymes" on poetry in my English class, but your's seems to bring out better examples!
*Check1* Ended well

*Question* Questions/Queries *Question*

*Exclaim* None

*Cut*Places that needs some fixings *Paste*

*Bullet* Didn't see any as usual

*Thumbsup*My Overall Rating*Thumbsdown*

5*Star*s

*Idea*Last Thoughts*Idea*

This was a really lovely and wonderful poem... It kept me hooked throughout. Keep up the good work!



Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated.

Thanks for letting me review you,
Your fan,
Sarah

*Flower2* Check out the contest I am currently hosting! :
 Cliché Story Challenge Open in new Window. (E)
Are you up to the task? Sept/Oct round OPEN.
#1555787 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author IconMail Icon
,
And my cNotes shop:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
And YES! my new blog (who knew Sarah blogged, too?):
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

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"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."God's Way GroupOpen in new Window.




15
15
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower3* Hello Redtowrite! This is a review by your fellow WDC-mate, Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon, also known as Sarah. *Flower3**Bigsmile*


Something of your's has caught my attention today and I would like to offer you my thoughts *Bigsmile*

Item title
*Bullet* Lost Boys and Miracles

What I liked *Thumbsup*

*Check1* The emotional impact that attacked me while I was reading
*Check1* Such beautiful descriptions
*Check1* A beautiful place that is easy to visualize
*Check1* The way the piece ended, i.e. beautifully.
*Check1*

*Question* Questions/Queries *Question*

*Exclaim* None

*Cut*Places that needs some fixings *Paste*

*Bullet* None that I saw

*Thumbsup*My Overall Rating*Thumbsdown*

4*Star*s
For a beautiful write

*Idea*Last Thoughts*Idea*

All I can say is... I'm so glad I came across such a beautiful piece. It was very touching and heartfelt, and imaginable. Lovely!



Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated.

Thanks for letting me review you,
Sarah

*Flower2* Check out the contest I am currently hosting! :
 Cliché Story Challenge Open in new Window. (E)
Are you up to the task? Sept/Oct round OPEN.
#1555787 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author IconMail Icon
,
And my cNotes shop:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
And YES! my new blog (who knew Sarah blogged, too?):
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Groups:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."The WDC Angel ArmyOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Open Door To Grace ♥Open in new Window."Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Smile~WorldwideOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."God's Way GroupOpen in new Window.




16
16
Review of The Bitter Rose  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower3* Hello Brian Chase! This is a review by your fellow WDC-mate, Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon, also known as Sarah. *Flower3**Bigsmile*


Something of your's has caught my attention today and I would like to offer you my thoughts *Bigsmile*

Item title
*Bullet* The Bitter Rose (lovely one)

What I liked *Thumbsup*

*Check1* The usage of words the writer users... very deep and meaningful
*Check1* The start of the piece was very capturing *Thumbsup*
*Check1* Descriptions were good, but slows down the piece a little (might want to work on that, but overall, good job)
*Check1* Smooth flow and rhymes well
*Check1* Ends well -- keeps readers hung up for more

*Question* Questions/Queries *Question*

*Exclaim* None

*Cut*Places that needs some fixings *Paste*

*Bullet* None

*Thumbsup*My Overall Rating*Thumbsdown*

4*Star*s

*Idea*Last Thoughts*Idea*

It was a good poem, Brian... I'm glad I came across it. Write on!



Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated.

Thanks for letting me review you,
Sarah

*Flower2* Check out the contest I am currently hosting! :
 Cliché Story Challenge Open in new Window. (E)
Are you up to the task? Sept/Oct round OPEN.
#1555787 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author IconMail Icon
,
And my cNotes shop:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
And YES! my new blog (who knew Sarah blogged, too?):
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Groups:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."The WDC Angel ArmyOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Open Door To Grace ♥Open in new Window."Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Smile~WorldwideOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."God's Way GroupOpen in new Window.




17
17
Review of Empty Hangers  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower3* Hello Kathie! This is a review by your fellow WDC-mate, Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon, also known as Sarah. *Flower3**Bigsmile*


Something of your's has caught my attention today and I would like to offer you my thoughts *Bigsmile*

Item title
*Bullet* Empty Hangers (Interesting title, I might add *Smile*)

What I liked *Thumbsup*

*Check1* The way the emotions in the story flows to your writers
*Check1* A well-crafted story-like poem
*Check1* Smooth, and rhymes well, too. *Smile*
*Check1* A lot of good descriptions, but did not slow down the read
*Check1* The usage of English language -- as if writer carefully picked out the right words

*Question* Questions/Queries *Question*

*Exclaim* Where did you get the idea from?

*Cut*Places that needs some fixings *Paste*

*Bullet* None that I saw


*Thumbsup*My Overall Rating*Thumbsdown*

4.5*Star*s
*Question*Why?*Question*
*Bullet* For an excellent read!

*Idea*Last Thoughts*Idea*

This is a really good poem, even though this kind (divorce and all) have been used by many.



Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated.

Thanks for letting me review you,
Sarah

*Flower2* Check out the contest I am currently hosting! :
 Cliché Story Challenge Open in new Window. (E)
Are you up to the task? Sept/Oct round OPEN.
#1555787 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author IconMail Icon
,
And my cNotes shop:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
And YES! my new blog (who knew Sarah blogged, too?):
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Groups:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."The WDC Angel ArmyOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Open Door To Grace ♥Open in new Window."Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Smile~WorldwideOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."God's Way GroupOpen in new Window.




18
18
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Flower3* Hello Web Witch! This is a review by your fellow WDC-mate, Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon, also known as Sarah. *Flower3**Bigsmile*


Something of your's has caught my attention today and I would like to offer you my thoughts *Bigsmile*

Item title
*Bullet* My Name is Web~Witch...

What I liked *Thumbsup*

*Check1* The way the writer kept her readers hooked
*Check1* Her style of writing and usage of the English language
*Check1* A good beginning which immediately caught my interest
*Check1* Slowed down at certain parts and pace increased later. Good control of speed
*Check1* The end, it was perfect

*Question* Questions/Queries *Question*

*Exclaim* No offense, but is your name really Web~Witch?
*Exclaim* How old were you when you first finished the book? And did you ever publish it?

*Cut*Places that needs some fixings *Paste*

*Bullet* Did not see anything that needs to be cut

*Thumbsup*My Overall Rating*Thumbsdown*

5*Star*s
*Question*Why?*Question*
*Bullet* The content... it's nice to get to know writers better


*Idea*Last Thoughts*Idea*

I LOVED IT! This totally deserves an awardicon. I would give you 5.5 over 5 stars, except it isn't allowed, and 5 stars is the highest. You're such a brilliantly talented writer! I am 13 years old, and you have really given me the hopes of writing - my parents pretty disapprove of it and there are many barriors and challenges - but you have showed me it IS possible. This is definitely a story one can relate to. *Bigsmile*



Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated.

Thanks for letting me review you,
Sarah

*Flower2* Check out the contest I am currently hosting! :
 Cliché Story Challenge Open in new Window. (E)
Are you up to the task? Sept/Oct round OPEN.
#1555787 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author IconMail Icon
,
And my cNotes shop:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
And YES! my new blog (who knew Sarah blogged, too?):
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Groups:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."The WDC Angel ArmyOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Open Door To Grace ♥Open in new Window."Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Smile~WorldwideOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."God's Way GroupOpen in new Window.




19
19
Review of "Vampire Dreams"  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Flower3* Hello Webwitch, my wonderful mentor! This is a review by your fellow WDC adoptee, Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon, also known as Sarah. *Flower3**Bigsmile*


Something of your's has caught my attention today and I would like to offer you my thoughts *Bigsmile*

Item title
*Bullet* Vampire Dreams (ahh... so the undead)

What I liked *Thumbsup*

*Check1* The writer's style of writing, very humorous and hooking
*Check1* Easy and simple to read
*Check1* The twist of humour bits you added to it
*Check1* The start, where writer creates a gory image to creep readers out
*Check1* The end, which leaves readers satisfied and hungry for more

*Question* Questions/Queries *Question*

*Exclaim* None

*Cut*Places that needs some fixings *Paste*

*Bullet* Didn't see anything


*Thumbsup*My Overall Rating*Thumbsdown*

4.5*Star*s
*Question*Why?*Question*
*Bullet* For a beautiful write!


*Idea*Last Thoughts*Idea*

I couldn't imagine a better way to write this! Looks like you're not only a great mentor, but also a very talented writer. *Delight*

I'm a big fan!



Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated.

Thanks for letting me review you,
Sarah

*Flower2* Check out the contest I am currently hosting! :
 Cliché Story Challenge Open in new Window. (E)
Are you up to the task? Sept/Oct round OPEN.
#1555787 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author IconMail Icon
,
And my cNotes shop:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
And YES! my new blog (who knew Sarah blogged, too?):
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Groups:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."The WDC Angel ArmyOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Open Door To Grace ♥Open in new Window."Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Smile~WorldwideOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."God's Way GroupOpen in new Window.




20
20
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Flower3* Hello Oreo Buddy a.k.a. Hidden Writer. This is a review by your fellow WDC-mate, Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon, also known as Sarah. *Flower3**Bigsmile*


Here is another review from the port raid I offered you*Bigsmile*

Item title
*Bullet* Ring Around The Rosey

What I liked *Thumbsup*

*Check1* the descriptions. They were fun to read, and easy to imagine.
*Check1* The words the writer has put in italics and not... it separates the idea
*Check1* the first 4 sentences... they were really hooking and attention grabbing.


*Question* Questions/Queries *Question*

*Exclaim* Where did you get the idea? *Delight*

*Cut*Places that needs some fixings *Paste*

*Bullet* I think the last 4 sentences, especially the highlighted ones, were a little off and out....
*Cut* You might want to reread it. It would probably work well without the top 4 sentences... I just find it does not really "connect" well.

*Thumbsup*My Overall Rating*Thumbsdown*

3.5*Star*s
I'm a critique reviewer... so 3.5 is pretty fine, if that's what you're thinking.


*Idea*Last Thoughts*Idea*

This was a pretty good try. I like forward to seeing more of your works, Hidden Writer.



Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated.

Thanks for letting me review you,
Sarah

*Flower2* Check out the contest I am currently hosting! :
 Cliché Story Challenge Open in new Window. (E)
Are you up to the task? Sept/Oct round OPEN.
#1555787 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author IconMail Icon
,
And my cNotes shop:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
And YES! my new blog (who knew Sarah blogged, too?):
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Groups:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."The WDC Angel ArmyOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Open Door To Grace ♥Open in new Window."Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Smile~WorldwideOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."God's Way GroupOpen in new Window.




21
21
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Flower3* Hello Lyle. This is a review by your fellow WDC-mate, Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon, also known as Sarah. *Flower3**Bigsmile*


Something of your's has caught my attention today and I would like to offer you my thoughts *Bigsmile*

Item title
*Bullet* My Summer As a Dog


What I liked *Thumbsup*

*Check1* The humour in it. The writer had me almost to the point where I had to choke back laughter.
*Check1* Facts and personal thoughts. It's nice to have some solid ones. I certainly know it's rather useful in an Argument essay.
*Check1* The addition of conversation... makes a story less dull, but I think whether or not the writer did this... this story was still very funny
*Check1* The rhetorical question "Why do people think they might want to be an animal?" A change of style in the writer's piece
*Check1* The ending part finished with enough humour to leave the readers satisfied.


*Question* Questions/Queries *Question*

*Exclaim* None


*Cut*Places that needs some fixings *Paste*

*Bullet* None that I saw.


*Thumbsup*My Overall Rating*Thumbsdown*

5*Star*s
*Question*Why?*Question*
*Bullet* As mentioned, the humour, especially the last bit
*Bullet* The flashback of memories the writer leads us to...
*Bullet* The content that kept the reader interested throughout


*Idea*Personal Thoughts*Idea*

Lyle, this was v. v. funny. I liked the book cover, too, it was very adorable. A personal note… I’m Chinese, if you recall, but dragons don’t really impress me… I have a wonderful pet dog who would probably love me more than if I had a pet dragon, and vice versa. In fact, she is outside whining for me now.

Anyway, just to say this was a beautifully written piece.



Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated.

Thanks for letting me review you,
Sarah

*Flower2* Check out the contest I am currently hosting! :
 Cliché Story Challenge Open in new Window. (E)
Are you up to the task? Sept/Oct round OPEN.
#1555787 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author IconMail Icon
,
And my cNotes shop:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
And YES! my new blog (who knew Sarah blogged, too?):
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Groups:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."The WDC Angel ArmyOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Open Door To Grace ♥Open in new Window."Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Smile~WorldwideOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."God's Way GroupOpen in new Window.




22
22
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Flower3* Hello Lyle! This is a review by your fellow WDC-mate, Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon, also known as Sarah. *Flower3**Bigsmile*


Something of your's has caught my attention today and I would like to offer you my thoughts *Bigsmile*

Item title
*Bullet* Sticktalker's Autoboigraphy


What I liked *Thumbsup*

*Check1* The way the writer summarised his entire life story
*Check1* Didn't cram the sentences up with too many descriptions and got carried away (high possibility for writers)
*Check1* The twist of humour (somewhere in the middle)
*Check1* The content... it was filled with lots of activity and didn't bore the reader
*Check1* The start and end of the piece. It was very... (I would use the word) eye-catching


*Question* Questions/Queries *Question*

*Exclaim* None


*Cut*Places that needs some fixings *Paste*

*Bullet* Nothing I saw needed any correction


*Thumbsup*My Overall Rating*Thumbsdown*

4*Star*s
*Question*Why?*Question*
*Bullet* An interesting write... I sometimes enjoy reading life-stories of others
*Bullet* It WAS very funny, at some parts
*Bullet* Good grammar usage.


*Idea*Last Thoughts*Idea*

I personally found this to be very fascinating... as well as funny, although I had a hard time keeping up where the writer mentioned all the jobs. LOL, guess I'm still too young.

Glad to get a glimsp at your life. Keep it up... *Delight*



Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated.

Thanks for letting me review you,
Sarah

*Flower2* Check out the contest I am currently hosting! :
 Cliché Story Challenge Open in new Window. (E)
Are you up to the task? Sept/Oct round OPEN.
#1555787 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author IconMail Icon
,
And my cNotes shop:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
And YES! my new blog (who knew Sarah blogged, too?):
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Groups:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."The WDC Angel ArmyOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Open Door To Grace ♥Open in new Window."Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Smile~WorldwideOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."God's Way GroupOpen in new Window.




23
23
Review of His Hunger  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower3* Hello Hidden Writer/Oreo Buddy This is a review by your fellow WDC-mate, Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon, also known as Sarah. *Flower3**Bigsmile*


This is a review from the port-raid I am offering you! *Bigsmile*

Item title
*Bullet* His Hunger
Perfect title! Caught my attention while browsing through writer's port.


What I liked *Thumbsup*

*Check1* The first line... catches the attention of your readers.
*Check1* The descriptions
*Check1* Highlighted words -- brings them out.
*Check1* The twist at the end, and how the writer made it work.
*Check1* Moved a little slow, and caught up with time in the end. Perfect.


*Question* Questions/Queries *Question*

*Exclaim* None!


*Cut*Places that needs some fixings *Paste*

*Bullet* I watched in shock; total aw seemed to wash over me as I watched him.
*Cut* "aw" should be "awe". I think writer missed the "e".


*Thumbsup*My Overall Rating*Thumbsdown*

4.5*Star*s
*Question*Why?*Question*
*Bullet* Beautifully written and easily imagined
*Bullet* The twist of humour.
*Bullet* A tiny little mistake at the start. *Bigsmile*


*Idea*Last Thoughts*Idea*

I'm glad I read this! It's so different from anything I've read before. It's strange the way you chat and the way you write. Magical and empowering!



Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated.

Thanks for letting me review you,
Sarah

*Flower2* Check out the contest I am currently hosting! :
 Cliché Story Challenge Open in new Window. (E)
Are you up to the task? Sept/Oct round OPEN.
#1555787 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author IconMail Icon
,
And my cNotes shop:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
And YES! my new blog (who knew Sarah blogged, too?):
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Groups:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."The WDC Angel ArmyOpen in new Window.
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"Smile~WorldwideOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."God's Way GroupOpen in new Window.




24
24
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower3* Hello Carl! This is a review by your fellow WDC-mate, Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon, also known as Sarah. *Flower3**Bigsmile*


Something of your's has caught my attention today and I would like to offer you my thoughts *Bigsmile*

Item title
*Bullet* Beloved Siblings


What I liked *Thumbsup*

*Check1* The smoothness and no breaks
*Check1* Size: short, but to the point
*Check1* The usage of the English language
*Check1* Descriptions: heart-wrenching and touching, yet also motivating
*Check1* The end. Started off well, ended off well.


*Question* Questions/Queries *Question*

*Exclaim* Is this a fictional write or real-life piece?


*Cut*Places that needs some fixings *Paste*

*Bullet* With to mom and dad in heaven.
*Cut* "With" is just off, when you have the "to" in the sentence. I suggest you change "with" to went, or just cut off the "to".
*Bullet*


*Thumbsup*My Overall Rating*Thumbsdown*

4.5*Star*s
*Question*Why?*Question*
*Bullet* For a well-thought poem with expressive thoughts
*Bullet* A powerful poem which others with loss can relate to.
*Bullet* A little error. *Smile*


Last Thoughts

Simple and beautiful. That is what I was looking for. Write on!



Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated.

Thanks for letting me review you,
Sarah

*Flower2* Check out the contest I am currently hosting! :
 Cliché Story Challenge Open in new Window. (E)
Are you up to the task? Sept/Oct round OPEN.
#1555787 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author IconMail Icon
,
And my cNotes shop:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
And YES! my new blog (who knew Sarah blogged, too?):
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Groups:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."The WDC Angel ArmyOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Open Door To Grace ♥Open in new Window."Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Smile~WorldwideOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."God's Way GroupOpen in new Window.




25
25
Review of The Climb  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Flower3* Hello again, Carl! This is a review by your fellow WDC-mate, Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author Icon, also known as Sarah. *Flower3**Bigsmile*


I have just read through your item "The ClimbOpen in new Window. and I would like to offer you some helpful comments and suggestions for it. Please disregard anything I say you find offensive and remember, whatever I say is solely my opinion. *Bigsmile*


*Star* First Impression *Star*
I thought...
The title was perfect.
The content was almost near to it, very strongly written. The writer's descriptions were well-thought and made imagination very easy.

*Star* Suggestion/Errors *Star*
Nothing that I see.

*Star* My Favourite Part *Star*
(Couldn't find one)

*Star* Overall Impression *Star*
The writer wrote it in such a way it manages to attract many others. Lovely!

Thank you for sharing this with the rest of us here at WDC. Your effort and time spent to create this story is very much appreciated.

Thanks for letting me review you,
Sarah

*Flower2* Check out the contest I am currently hosting! :
 Cliché Story Challenge Open in new Window. (E)
Are you up to the task? Sept/Oct round OPEN.
#1555787 by Sarah~goodbye writing.com Author IconMail Icon
,
And my cNotes shop:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Groups:
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."The WDC Angel ArmyOpen in new Window.
"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
"Open Door To Grace ♥Open in new Window."Invalid ItemOpen in new Window.
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"Invalid ItemOpen in new Window."God's Way GroupOpen in new Window.




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