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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sapphronia
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3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Sapph Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really enjoy this. The language is well balanced, and I enjoy the direct quotations. It's a great short story. There may be a way to incorporate his age and occupation (if you want to provide that info) in a narrative form. Having it as you do now is a sharp/almost distant contrast to the very warm narrative that you use to convey your conversation with him. There is a typo or two, nothing major, but is a means of improving the text. I enjoyed the ending, in any future revision you decide on, I definitely suggest leaving the ending alone, it is great as is!
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Review of Noticing Newbies  Open in new Window.
Review by Sapph Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi!

I am getting back into the groove of writing, and trying to find/make time for this passion. Just wanted to say hello, and to express my appreciation of this space!
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