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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sanfmo2000
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14 Public Reviews Given
14 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of In Sepia  Open in new Window.
Review by sanfmo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like this poem. Though I don't understand how she is like a pun. I particularly liked, "Her distorted reflection
will wrap spiral waveforms
around the fairy-tales
of the illusory world,
with the desire of a feline
hunting to satisfy hunger"

I'm not sure I understood "waveforms around the fairy-tales of the illusory world," but I like it.

On the other hand the end lost me, "designed to woo her painful joints."

But overall I would recommend this to others.
2
2
Review of Love  Open in new Window.
Review by sanfmo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
heartfelt and true - without love life is meaningless
3
3
Review of A Wild Ride  Open in new Window.
Review by sanfmo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
That was fun
4
4
Review of Dog Love Home  Open in new Window.
Review by sanfmo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Dog love home. Good Dog.
5
5
Review of Through the Worm  Open in new Window.
Review by sanfmo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
I want to read more. Check for spelling and missing words. For example I don't understand the following sentence, "Lai'i couldn't be assed to bother with what her crew thought of her." Was "assed" intentional? Maybe I need more context but it is meaningless to me.

When I first hear Mitre talking to the captain I thought maybe Mitre was an automated alarm or computer. I would suggest mentioning Mitre's title, "First Mate" etc.

These are just suggestions. I hope to read more. Thanks for posting your work.
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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/sanfmo2000