This is such a lovely moment/ experience to have shared. Thank you.
Your direct style in the first paragraph was great for setting the scene and drawing me in.
Using CCU took me out of the story for a second or so, but maybe it has more common usage in the states ( guessing it is coronary care unit ).
Your descriptions were great enough detail but not too much detail.
You told the story well.
There were a couple of rather too long sentences which I think only stood out because your other sentences lengths worked so well.
In terms of the narrative, it got a little confused for me towards the end (and I wonder if it was because of a word count you were trying to stick to).
It seemed you only met the greek woman once and yet you had seen people visiting her etc ?
I hope these comments are useful.
So far, apart from spelling errors, no reviewers reviewing my work have given me any feedback with regard to what wasn't working so well or what could be improved only heaped prasie. So I really hope I am not breaking some unwritten rule here!
I loved the story you were so kindly sharing with me. The writing in the first paragraph was pacey. I was intrigued, I wanted to read more. Thank you.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.09 seconds at 1:56pm on Dec 24, 2024 via server WEBX2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "