This was a very well written poem. I like the pattern you wrote it in. It invoked an emotion, you got aacross very well how you feel. Your rhyming was really enjoyable also. I liked how you tied in your hair to the poem that was very witty. I hope you continue to persue this.
This is a well written piece. It paints a very vevid picture of the environment even within the black bag. The evidence of her childhood created a bond between the reader and the character. THe room she first entered was well descripted and I could see it very well as I read. There was a lack of panic thought from the girl, she was a little too calm although the almost wretch added a more human appearence to her.
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