The usage of "and" is over abundant, and you could probably stream this out with more sensory effects for an entire chapter which would give you more space to really be seen and heard more. Overall, it's a nice start! Keep up the good work!
What theme exactly other than the 4 senses are you trying to go for? I'm having a hard time figuring out what it all means after reading 6-7 times. It flows very nice, perhaps maybe a bit more descriptive though.
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