An interesting story....and the twist was the icing on the cake. And with that, I will give you four stars for this strange little piece of writing, rather than try to write a review simply for getting my paid membership renewed faster. Thank you for contributing for the writing. And as I always saying please keep writing. As a matter of curiosity can I confirm what inspired this strange tale about trust? Because it is an unique little contribution and I am not sure how I feel about it. Well done and please continue to contribute your writing.
An devastating story....one that really hits home. And with that, I can only give you three stars for this haunting little piece of writing, rather than try to write a review simply for the gift points. Thank you for contributing for the writing, even though it made me feel queasy and sick. And as I always saying please keep writing. Even though, you wrote well, the subject matter made this feel really raw. Sorry, I can't give you anymore stars, it just wouldn't sit well with me. Plus the racism of the US Character was too much.
Yeah....the first commandment is I am the Lord thy God. I am not clear on whether the be still is....but I do like that quote. Top marks for bring it up.
Lezismore, I am not really sure what to make of this. I like that each of the character is given a description or some sort of explanation. I like the suspenseful ending towards the end of this installment. I like that the setting has been defined for us in some manner or description. But I find the narrative puzzling and i am not sure that this is my kind of writing. I will add my usual Keep writing and praise you for this work. I will give you 3.5 stars and urge you to write the next installment with a few more characters if possible.
Well this is an interesting piece, Harry. I am always pleased to read a piece about freedom and liberty. I can feel the spirituality of your poem as the words of inspiration lead further to the joys of the true Spring. I am pleased to have the opportunity to review this. Well this was nice to read, so please take the 4 stars with my compliments. Happy writing to all and to all keep contributing to this site! I hope to read more pieces from you, Harry!
I am torn to how I want to rate this particular piece. Normally I would congratulate you on a piece that was well written, with great themes, powerful descriptions and good structure. But I don't see that either does you justice either positively or negatively. I loathe the rhyming scheme you have implemented, making an important work seem infantile and sing song. I love the expression of how things never really change. So I will give you 4 stars, a very good piece, but with enough room to improve. Keep contributing your skills for the better of this internet site, we will all be richer for that!
Well this is an interesting piece, Jen. I am glad Jen, that you were able to feel part of our writing community. Allow me to welcome you here personally. You can feel the spirituality within this site match that of your poem. I am pleased to have the opportunity to review this. Well this was nice to read, so please take the 4 stars with my compliments. Happy writing to all and to all keep contributing to this site! I hope to read more pieces from you, Jen!
Dangal, I am very impressed with this. You truly are a gifted writer. Well done with this fine and clever piece. I thought that our main character Jack stole the wallet to save the girl. Well done to her, indeed. You identified your character well. Very impressed with your comprehensive technique. I don't know if you posted this by phone or computer, may I tentatively suggest a spell and grammar check? There are a few missing commas. Brilliant start.
Well this deserves 4 stars for such a wisely expressed poem. I am glad Dr M C Gupta/mcgupta44 that you were able to share with us this honest piece of work. I am delighted to have the opportunity to review this. I like that your point of view is made both with well made points (though Iraq, Afghanisation and (though it was written in 2007), Syria and Libya were not democracies or free societies). Well this was nice, so please take the 4 stars with my complements. Happy writing to all and to all keep contributing to this site!
Well this deserves 4 stars for originality (though it is similar to the last piece I reviewed). I am glad phelous/myamay that you were able to share with us this sweet, little piece. I am pleased to have the opportunity to review this. I like that our sole character has such a strong characterisation and that we can sympathise with our highly philosophical character. Well this was nice, so please take the 4 stars with my complements. Happy writing to all and to all keep contributing to this site!
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I've written before and I hope to write it again. A touching, wonderful story that had me sigh and thank my lucky stars for all my good fortune. Doc, this was so sweet, it could turn the most cynical person into a true believer. I wish I could express better how nice it was to read such a happy story. I hope that when Lexi and Eleanor are reunited, they won't forget about the greatness of the bond of sisters, whether in deed or blood. Wonderful!
Interesting narrative. It is very well described. I could visualise the entire scenario in my mind. It was definitely the kind of nice, amusing little short story that we should all read now and again.
Now after the praise, a technical run through. Well it was written from the 1st person, no irritating I said or he said every five minutes. No repetition and you appear to have provided adequate character description both physical and emotional. Kudos! Keep writing.
A nice start. Formatting is critical in writing. If you break up paragraphs and link them, it makes following better. What you don't want is a lot of information just dumped on you. Lead them to the crush.
I suggest reediting this short story with the suggestions I made and see if it works for you. I have also struggled with plot dumping. However you have done a great job communicating desire and the unrequited feelings of youth. Keep writing, you have skill.
Far too often, the focus is on generals who strategise, organise and stand on horses safe from conflict. Far too long have we focused on those who give everything to make their nation proud and serve her interests.
This remains the great truth about true soldiers and I am thrilled to read such a magnificent true piece of such illustrious champions reminding us about devotion, love and fighting on. How unique it is that circumstances and family should unite these great legends. Hail these men and their courage.
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