The story really worked for me because I felt the same frustration the main character did. I was once a college grad who moved into a new place right out of college too. Also, I'm a bit obsessive-compulsive when it comes to certain things, so I could see this happening to me, and I think the writer really made me feel that it was.
Sometimes comedy-of-error plots get crazy and spin so out of control they're unrealistic and I lose enjoyment. There were a few things that were really out there--all the stuff the father sent, and the character using matches first instead of a flashlight. I think there could have been another way to bring the fire into in it.
But over all, I thought this story was very well-constructed and, and best of all, it really kept my interest.
I normally write nonfiction and am venturing into short stories. I found this story while looking for examples. My first story was in the first person and was constructed somewhat in the same way. A friend who critiqued my first short story said my ending was weak and gave too much away. A good ending to a short story, she said, keeps the audience guessing. She was right.
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