Really liked this piece, thought it could have been longer (perhaps it was an entry to a competition with word limits?) In any case, I reckon it reads well, I was able to get a good feel for all the characters, especially the narrator, which isn't easy in such a small space.
Think you have a good basis the the plot of a novel here, I'd love to see the father/son relationship develop toward the same ending in a longer, more detailed piece. The idea that people voluntarily become sevice robots is original, again, no mean feat, and the native American referances were good food for thought.
Good stuff.
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