I'm assuming that this story is an excerpt from a much bigger story, and I'd much like to read more! :) Your use of vocabulary is astounding, and your descriptions definitely paint a picture for the audience. However, I did catch some minor typos. There were a couple of fragmented sentences in the first 2-3 paragraphs, and you have "Lava Spiders" capitalized in one paragraph but not in another. I apologize if I sound like I'm being nitpicky, but I want fellow writers to have their works look and sound as neat as possible. Anyway, I love where this story is going, and I really would like to read more of your works!
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rochelle2001
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.10 seconds at 10:00am on Nov 27, 2024 via server WEBX2.