Nice poem, good message, but honestly the first rhyme and lack of rhymes anywhere else kinda thew me off. Try maybe either making a rhyme scheme to follow or a feeling scheme. Poems can also follow a feeling they don’t have to rhyme but it gets confusing if you use both of them in an incomplete fashion.
It is a good poem, but if this is from the heart… I want you to know that we all appreciate you and you are not alone in this feeling. We are all candles, shining bright and warm, the world becomes a little darker and colder when one of us goes out. Keep your life warm and bright, cause no one will be glad that you are gone.
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