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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rizziellod
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Rated: E | (3.0)
OK, so I read it and yes, it is silly, or should I say really silly? But I am a big fan of silly. The sillier the better as far as I'm concerned.

Be that as it may, just a few of my musings on this piece.

I think that your idea is very good. However the story could be fleshed out a bit more. maybe some descriptions of the characters and offering the reader a bit of their inner lives. What fun trying to paint a word picture of what it is like going trough life as a yogurt.

I don't know why you chose to make Steve a fireman, but it seems to be a bit random.

All in all a fun read. With a little work this could truly be something speial.
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