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1,860 Public Reviews Given
1,861 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Okay... How does he get back to reality. And was his wandering through hell a mistake of the ritual. I want to read more... It did not feel as thick of a historical tone as the previous two chapters. I think you have a really good beginning to this book. I hope the rest is as good
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Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
He is a touch more likeable in this chapter than the first one. The woman is a strange enigma old but not old. Young but not young, is she even human? If she is human how did she come to have her knowledge? This rhyme thing reminds me of this guy on Facebook reels that comes up with creepy verses for nursery rhymes.
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for entry "Chapter 1: Genesis" Open in new Window.
Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Ooh that is a dark beginning. I don't like this guy. If he is the main character I should like him shouldn't I? An antihero perhaps? Is this whole thing going to document his fall? Is what happened to the crazy cannibal going to eventually happen to him? The tone is a little thicker and not quite as accessible as in the prolog but I still followed it well.
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Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is a cool beginning. I didn't find the style difficult to follow. It seems like the tone and turn of speech that this kind of subject melds well with. It is highly cautionary and definitely sets the weight and tone for a complex and weighty tale. I am hooked into reading more.
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Review of Game Models  Open in new Window.
Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wow, it read like a blog entry at first drawing me in then it built in a believable way until the end. I love the format, the tone the characters. I would suggest putting a double return between paragraphs to make it easier to read. The tab button really does nothing in ML. It would be so cool if this app did exist.
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Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I love this poem. It is so expressive it tells of a moment in time where things could have gone to pot and love came out stronger than anger. That doesn't happen enough in this world any more. The eighties birthed a "ME" generation that believes their own feelings are more important than other peoples and a mutual love like this isn't always strong enough. Thanks for sharing this poem. A more uniform use of punctuation would help a little, there are places which are complete thoughts that really should be punctuated as separate sentences, capitalizing every line leaves me to question where the sentences begin and end. But that is a nitpick
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for entry "the worm attacks" Open in new Window.
Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
What was the prompt for this poem? It sounds cool. This poem really sets me thinking about all of the dystopian pathways a story inspired by this poem could grow down. I think the topic should be placed in a drop or pop note instead of gust sitting below the poem. That way people who just want to enjoy the poem could and the people who want to know where it came from could still find out. I have more of a chance that I will follow links in drop notes rather than just in the body of a piece.
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Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I liked the other version of this poem better. It felt more weighty than this I think the form of it was a good idea. I see this was an express it in eight poem perhaps you could put the prompt in a drop note?
More information on what inspired these words offer more insights into the poet's mind.
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Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
It is a good and timely poem. A lot of things and people are on the verge of being wrecked. Might I suggest putting the information on the form into a drop or pop note so that it doesn't detract from the weight of the poem. It would give the piece a cleaner look. Alternately you could change the authors note to a different softer color.
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Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
It's an interesting story, I love the characters and the premise. The ultimate ending is good too. The ceremony seems heartless and cruel. I am glad that isn't the way things are done these days, for the most part anyway. I can't imagine the poor guards trying to... produce seed in a public place.
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Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a sad poem. I like the repettion ot the last words in the line it defintely evokes a sense of echoing. it feels like a happy celebratory echo in the first set but a sad depressing empty sort of echo in the last few stanzas. I don't understand how a dad can break it of to an aunt but okay... could be cultural differences.
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Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I love this story "poem". It reminds me of how I wrote in the beginning. My style has changed a lot and has become more conventional, but I love the child-like playful way you have addressed the magical subjects of your poem. The tone of the entire story is fun and companionable. I felt like a friend was including me in a magical secret. Which is why I found the use of profanity in the piece unnecessary and damaging to the piece. It rather than the other subject matter is what raises the rating for me.
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Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Such a perfect anecdote of pet ownership they do love to make parties difficult. Like my cat getting on the counter to steal strawberries from my sister in law's birthday tray. It is a very believable and relatable story. I love the relaxed tone and the way there was a gentle bit of tension before the dog attack and then again before the cake was rescued. I remember the A-team and knew kids that crazy about it. Great story!
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Review of Borrowed Time  Open in new Window.
Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Awesome! Such a cool story. You lead us into. It gently. I expected the ending and yet I didn't.the away you poured on the backstory was perfect. Not tooo info dumpy but you were cramming a lot of stuff into a small space. I would love to see what happens when he arrives at his destination.
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Review of Flames  Open in new Window.
Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is a lovely story i like the main character I liked the supernatural overtures. The point of view seems a little unfocused to me. I can't tell if it is from the granddaughter's pov or the grandfather's. But it isn't too distracting. I can follow the story. I just think it could be tightened up a bit if it were a little more focused.
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Review of Pedestal  Open in new Window.
Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
THis is an intriguing poem. I wonder who the poet is comparing themself to, It appears they followed the proper form so I can't fault it. The subject of the poem is so faintly identified it could be anyone. It could be a parent, a sibling, a friend, a lover. It is just so open to interpretation. Good poem with a universal appeal
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Review of SILENCE  Open in new Window.
Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I too appreciate silence. Unfortunately it is rare to find in my house. Due to abuse in her childhood my wife always has music or tv playing in the background even when we are sleeping. Earplugs are my saving grace. It isn't that I don't enjoy music, but there is something to be said for silence.
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Review of In my Dreams  Open in new Window.
Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
It flows really well. We're you going for poetry or prose? It could easily wander down either path. More details on what is intoxicating about the smell would be good. Make us smell it and make us feel the way they make your heart beat. What is the sound of them that you most long for? Their voice? Their breath? Their heartbeat beneath your ear on their chest?
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Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
It is a cool word search, but civilware should be silverware. I got the first ten really easily but the last six were killer for me and civilware was one of them because it isn't a word I was expecting. Recliner was the last one I found. I liked it it was just the right level of difficulty.
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Review of Lone Wolf  Open in new Window.
for entry "Chapter 3" Open in new Window.
Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
You glazed over his training. I think describing anecdotes from it would add something. Perhaps the next chapter could somehow involve the vixen again. It could develop into a subplot perhaps a romance that ends in a kill or be killed situation where the vixen loses.
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Review of Lone Wolf  Open in new Window.
for entry "Chapter 2" Open in new Window.
Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Good dialog. The descriptions illuminated the characters in my mind. At some point you could mention rexx is a wolf. Then you would not need the awkward prolog. He seems awfully eager to join an organization that should be blowing his mind more. Is the organization government mandated or a secret society?
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Review of Lone Wolf  Open in new Window.
for entry "Chapter 1" Open in new Window.
Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is an interesting start to the story. But I found there was a lot of telling rather than showing. I realize that from this point of view it is hard to avoid. I think if you could engage more of the senses it would draw the reader into the story further and engage more of the reader's imagination.
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Review of Lone Wolf  Open in new Window.
for entry "Prologue " Open in new Window.
Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I find reading second person perspective stories difficult. It feels like I am being wedged into a story sideways as opposed to being comfortably immersed in a new reality. The descriptions were good but I wonder if you have to mention he's a wolf so many separate times. Once perhaps then just some description of his characteristics.
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Review of Contest Entries  Open in new Window.
for entry "My Gratitude" Open in new Window.
Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love this gratitude list. There are a lot of things in this world to be grateful for. I think you picked some of the top ones for me. I would have added family and friends in there somewhere. The world would be awfully lonely without them. I also would have added in being thankful for writing.com. then again you sort of added that one in by way of contests to enter. It is a neat little poem it flows together well. I hope you win the contest. I have not read any of the other entries but I think you have a pretty good chance. I think my favorite part is cats to chase. I have cats I do end up chasing them a lot. I might have worded it cats to herd. It references the difficulty of wrangling them a bit better than just chasing them, but like I said it was my favorite line so it works pretty well as it is. I like the priority levevel of cats to chase implied by its high placement in the list, by food, shelter and modern conveniences like electricity and water. I also admire the fact that you can be thankful for nanowrimo in the middle of the stress of it.
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Review of Solar Eclipse  Open in new Window.
Review by St. Patrick'... Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Cool idea. I like the story and the idea of an eclipse having that kind of effect. Is it aliens? did they somehow give the tech to humanity for mass kidnapping or mass murder? great story written very well. I feel really bad for alex and everyone else that didn't disappear I have a feeling that very little can be accomplished without the headset and they all have disappeared.
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