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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
"End-of-the-world Survival Blues" is a powerful and evocative piece that captures the weight of modern anxieties in the face of overwhelming global crises. Through a mix of personal reflection and sharp commentary on climate change, political instability, and societal breakdowns, the poem paints a picture of a world on the brink of collapse.

The opening lines immediately set the tone, using a mix of self-expression ("I got them") and an urgency around the "end-of-the-world" blues. The reference to Frank Zappa’s lyrics reinforces the idea that this is not a new feeling, but something that's been building over time. The poem mirrors the recurring nature of bad news we receive daily, whether it’s about natural disasters or societal unrest, offering a sense of relentless doom.

The imagery of climate change is particularly poignant, as it transforms from an abstract threat into a very real, present danger. The vivid descriptions of towns disappearing in fires, flooded roads, and communities devastated by storms make the crisis feel immediate and unavoidable. The poem’s stark language of "Thousand-year storms coming every day" emphasizes the sense of helplessness many feel in the face of overwhelming environmental changes.

There is a distinct sense of disillusionment throughout the piece. As the speaker reflects on how we once thought of climate change as a distant threat, it becomes clear that the world has already crossed a threshold—what we feared has now arrived. The line "No longer just a disaster movie" effectively captures the shift from apocalyptic fiction to grim reality.

The closing lines bring in a touch of existential uncertainty, pondering the fate of future generations. The image of survivors in underground bunkers or on the Moon and Mars captures the eerie uncertainty of what’s to come. Will humanity be able to solve these crises, or will we look back on our civilization from the ruins?

This poem resonates because it speaks to the collective uncertainty, fear, and frustration many feel today. It skillfully ties personal sentiment to global crises, making the reader feel the weight of the survival blues in a time of profound change.

One of the strengths of this piece is its ability to balance broad social commentary with individual reflection, making the emotional weight of the issues more personal and relatable. The rhythmic repetition of "I got them" builds both a sense of resignation and the shared experience of living in a world increasingly defined by crisis.

Overall, "End-of-the-world Survival Blues" is a poignant meditation on the end times, filled with raw emotion and critical insights about the direction our world is heading.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of corn  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a short acrostic poem playing with the word "CORN." It has a playful and sensory-driven approach, focusing on the juiciness of corn while throwing in an unexpected phrase—“optical illusion”—that adds a bit of intrigue.

Strengths:
Sensory appeal: The word choice, particularly “juicy” and “rain its juiciness upon my mouth,” creates a vivid taste and texture experience.

Unexpected turn: “Optical illusion” stands out. It makes the reader pause and think—why is corn an illusion? This adds a layer of curiosity.

Concise and to the point: The brevity works in its favor, keeping the focus tight.

Areas for Improvement:
Clarify the illusion idea: If the goal is to say corn is surprisingly juicy or visually misleading in some way, adding a word or two for context might strengthen the impact.

Smoother flow: The last line, “Nothing to compare,” feels a little abrupt. Perhaps rewording it to “Nothing else compares” could make it feel more natural.

Overall, it’s a fun, quick piece that plays with imagery well! If you were going for a quirky, slightly mysterious tone, it works. If you want it to be clearer, a tiny tweak might help.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Consequences  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
ChatGPT said:
Your poem, "Consequences," captures the story of Jonah with a strong sense of rhythm and emotion. The rhyme scheme works well, giving the piece a flowing, almost chant-like quality that fits a biblical tale. Here are some thoughts on strengths and potential areas for improvement:

Strengths:
Strong Voice & Emotion – Jonah’s reluctance and frustration are clear, especially in the repeated refusals to go to Nineveh. The use of “No mercy!” and “Why mercy?” effectively conveys his inner turmoil.

Effective Rhyming – The rhyme is consistent without feeling forced. The variation in line lengths keeps it engaging.

Pacing & Storytelling – The narrative moves smoothly, from Jonah’s rebellion to his punishment and eventual obedience. The progression feels natural and well-structured.

Biblical Tone – The phrasing mimics the gravity of a biblical passage, which fits the contest theme well.

Suggestions for Improvement:
Tighten Some Phrasing – Some lines could be slightly refined for better readability. For example:

“Jonah sailed aboard a ship. Soon they were in a storm’s fierce grip.”
→ Could be stronger as: “Jonah sailed a ship at sea, but a storm raged violently.”

Clarify "Know Mercy" Ending – The final line, "Know mercy!" is powerful, but it feels slightly abrupt. Maybe tie it back to Jonah’s realization or transformation.

More Sensory Details – You describe Jonah’s time inside the fish well, but adding more about the storm or Nineveh’s wickedness could enhance the imagery.

Overall Rating: 9/10
This is a compelling and well-crafted entry that stays true to the biblical story while adding a personal poetic touch. A few small refinements could make it even stronger. Great job!

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece is reflective and philosophical, exploring the idea that time is at the core of everything—our emotions, memories, and even negative aspects like lies and distrust. I appreciate the way you circle back to time, reinforcing its significance in shaping our experiences.

There’s a poetic quality in your repetition of “time, time, time,” which gives it a rhythmic flow. I also like how you emphasize memories as markers in our minds, highlighting how they’re intertwined with time itself.

However, there are some areas where clarity could be improved. For example, the sentence "Perhaps one of them is a good way that later becomes emotional." feels a bit vague. Are you saying that one of these concepts (lying, ignorance, time, distrust) starts off as neutral or positive but later takes on emotional weight? If so, rewording it for precision could strengthen your argument.

You could also expand on "The verses of time will be something that will never be forgotten, since it can be said that it is what life does."—this is a compelling idea, but “what life does” could be more concrete. Perhaps something like “Time writes the story of our lives, never ceasing, never forgotten.”

Overall, this is an interesting reflection on time’s power. With a little tightening of wording and structure, it could be even more impactful.


WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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5
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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Your article beautifully captures the emotional and physical toll of being a cancer caregiver while also offering valuable advice. Here are a few improvements that could enhance clarity and readability:

Grammar & Clarity:

"Caregivers play an indispensable rule" → should be "role."

"Only a caregiver understands how difficult it is to watch a loved one suffer" → This phrase is slightly repetitive. You could say, "Only a caregiver truly understands the pain of witnessing a loved one's suffering."

Flow & Readability:

Some sections could be broken into smaller paragraphs for better readability.

Consider restructuring sentences like "Running around the hospital day after day, staying up all night, managing medication and meals --all of this leaves very little opportunity for rest." → "Day after day, caregivers run between hospital visits, stay up through the night, and manage medications and meals—leaving little time for rest."

Consistency:

The spacing between words is inconsistent in some areas (e.g., "the love of caregivers that keeps the cancer patients going" → should be "cancer patients").

"Silent heroes -selflessly sacrificing" → should be "silent heroes—selflessly sacrificing."

Emotional Impact:

Your conclusion is strong, but you might consider a final, uplifting sentence to reinforce the caregiver’s value. Something like:
"Remember, you are making a difference in ways that words cannot always express."


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Review of Reviewing ideas  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
ChatGPT said:
This is a well-organized guide for writing reviews, especially for creative works. It encourages both positivity and constructive feedback while providing a structured way to approach reviews.

Strengths:
Clear and Encouraging Tone – The guide emphasizes honesty, encouragement, and support for writers, which is crucial for fostering creativity.

Structured Approach – The template makes it easy to break down a review into key sections: overall thoughts, favorite parts, and suggestions.

Flexibility – It allows for customization, such as adding colors, images, and centering text.

Helpful Prompts – The guide provides excellent questions to help reviewers think deeply about what they’re reading and how to offer useful feedback.

Empathy for Writers – The note about avoiding rudeness and ensuring suggestions are constructive is a great reminder for reviewers.

Areas for Improvement:
The formatting could be slightly cleaner to improve readability. For example, the guide uses instead of standard bold formatting, which might not work everywhere.

The use of
and ** Image ID #1389515 Unavailable ** suggests this might be designed for a specific platform. A brief note clarifying that would help users unfamiliar with the formatting.

It could include an example of a completed review using the template to give a clearer picture of how everything comes together.

Overall, this guide is very useful for anyone looking to provide thoughtful and helpful reviews, especially in creative writing communities.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Unfinished  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem has a strong sense of tension and unease, playing with themes of uncertainty and the unresolved. The rhythm and structure are fragmented, reflecting the disorientation and abruptness conveyed in the words. The clever use of language, such as "cliff / hanger, hangman," sets up an ominous tone, drawing the reader into a state of suspense and anticipation.

The imagery is vivid, with phrases like "cut short, unraveling" and "meet me where the ground bends," suggesting instability and a sense of impending change. There’s a surreal quality to it, especially in lines like "make friends with thin air" and "cards folding," where the boundaries between reality and metaphor blur.

The emotional undercurrent is one of longing and frustration, with the speaker grappling with the idea of missing something—perhaps meaning, connection, or resolution. The ending feels deliberately unfinished, emphasizing the theme of something lost or unspoken. "Thirteen past lives, pending" hints at unresolved pasts and the passage of time, while "This poem will remain" leaves the reader with a sense of permanence in the face of uncertainty.

Overall, the poem effectively creates a mood of tension and mystery while exploring themes of impermanence, loss, and the search for meaning in an unpredictable world.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece is a heartfelt reflection on the complex nature of time, love, and loss. It effectively conveys the emotional journey of longing, waiting, and the desire for connection. The writing explores time both as a concept and a personal experience, creating a sense of depth and universality.

Strengths:
Emotional Impact: The piece captures the emotional struggle of dealing with absence and yearning for a loved one. The contrast between time as a healer and time as a source of pain is well executed.

Structure and Flow: The short, almost fragmented sentences mimic the disjointed feeling of longing and the emotional turmoil of waiting for someone. This structure contributes to the emotional intensity of the piece.

Theme Exploration: The metaphor of time is used effectively, portraying it as both a beautiful and painful force. The writer seems to grapple with how time both brings healing and exacerbates pain, making the piece relatable to anyone who has experienced separation or loss.

Suggestions for Improvement:
Clarity in Progression: There’s a slight sense of repetition with the longing for time to pass quickly and for the return of the loved one. Perhaps varying the phrasing a bit more could add a stronger sense of emotional depth and avoid feeling too repetitive.

Pacing: The piece feels like it builds towards a climax of emotional release, but it could benefit from a few more subtle shifts in tone. Perhaps introducing moments of hope or contrast within the longing could make the overall message more dynamic.

Closing Line: The ending feels powerful, but it could be slightly refined for impact. A more succinct or unique phrasing might leave a stronger impression on the reader.

Overall, this piece beautifully captures the emotional complexity of waiting for someone and the bittersweet nature of time. It's a compelling and introspective read.


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Review of Dear Me  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece is charming and playful, using an interesting narrative approach by having "Me, Moi, Myself, and I" as distinct voices. The lighthearted self-reflection and humor make it engaging, and the message about staying dedicated to writing, reviewing, and publishing comes through clearly.

That said, a few things could be tightened for readability:

Consistency in Tone: The French interjections ("C'est Moi," "mon Cherie") are fun, but they aren’t used consistently. If they are meant to be a recurring theme, they could be sprinkled in more evenly.

Grammar & Clarity: The use of "Me" instead of "I" is intentional for style, but at times it makes sentences feel a bit tangled. For example:

"Me has, Moi will admit, created meself that one necessity for any great writer!"
→ Could be smoother: "Moi must admit, Me has finally created that one necessity for any great writer!"

Stronger Transitions: The letter jumps between ideas—writing, reviewing, publishing, and contest-hosting—without clear transitions. A little restructuring could help each section flow better.

Repetition: Some phrases, like "Me will get published again" and "Me will finish those two books sitting in limbo," could use variation for a smoother rhythm.

Overall, this is a fun and motivational piece. With some tightening, it could be even stronger while keeping its playful charm. Would you like a refined version while maintaining its style?

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This song has a poetic and passionate quality that brings to life the themes of forbidden love, defiance, and the persistence of a bond that refuses to be silenced. The imagery you’ve created with lines like "We carved our names in stars the world could not erase" and "A love too bright, a song too bold" is vivid and captivating, emphasizing a love that is both eternal and untouchable, even in the face of adversity.

The repetition of the "Soft as a whisper, fierce as a storm" pre-chorus creates a contrast that highlights the complexity of love — gentle yet powerful. It adds depth, building up to the chorus each time, which becomes anthemic in its own right. The line "A melody they’ll never know" speaks to the secrecy and isolation of the love, while "So they silenced the story we told" captures a sense of injustice and heartbreak.

The second verse continues the theme of a love that’s almost too pure for the world to accept, with "A fate bound path to silent death" suggesting an inevitable, tragic end. This aligns well with the earlier idea of silencing love, but there's also a sense of destiny at play here, as if the love is meant to burn bright, regardless of the consequences.

The bridge brings a powerful shift, a kind of victorious reclamation of the love that defied all odds, "The echoes still ring, so pure, so clear." It feels like the crescendo of the song, and by the final chorus, there’s an undeniable sense of triumph — "Let the world remember our name."

Overall, the song is beautifully structured, emotionally charged, and filled with rich, cinematic imagery. It carries a message of rebellion against the forces that seek to crush love, leaving the listener with an empowering feeling that love can transcend even the greatest obstacles. The final line, in particular, feels like a declaration — a statement of legacy. It’s a song that could resonate deeply with anyone who’s ever had to fight for their love.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Old Soul  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem has a beautiful, bittersweet quality to it. The way you start with the mention of "old souls" and connect it directly to the person you’re addressing feels warm and reflective. There’s an ease in the way the words flow, especially in the first stanza. The phrase "immeasurably old souled" captures a sense of timelessness that complements the idea of someone whose presence feels beyond their years.

The second stanza adds a touch of lightheartedness with the playful reference to the "spring chicken," creating a nice contrast with the deeper, more somber themes that come later. The transition from these light reflections to the sorrowful news in the final stanza is seamless. It’s not jarring but instead feels like a natural progression from a moment of personal reflection to the inevitable reality of loss.

The imagery of the herons is a strong choice, symbolizing both freedom and the journey beyond life, which ties in wonderfully with the last lines. You capture the emotional weight of losing someone dear without overly dramatizing it. It’s simple but deeply poignant.

The ending, where you reveal the news, is beautifully understated. It leaves the reader with a sense of closure, while also making them feel the quiet devastation that comes with losing someone so significant.

Overall, it’s a lovely tribute. The subtle shifts in tone and the balance between remembrance and loss make this poem heartfelt and real. It evokes a sense of shared history and love, and I think the tribute to Kathryn Scott is both respectful and intimate.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Gates to Success  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This story is a delightful and humorous take on the classic dragonslayer trope. The character of Germain is relatable, especially with his realization of how ill-prepared he is for the task he's taken on. His inner dialogue about volunteering for the job is fun, and it gives a nice sense of self-awareness to his character.

The interaction with the dragon, Toffey, is where the real charm of the piece lies. Toffey is a unique dragon, with a sarcastic and slightly exasperated personality that contrasts beautifully with Germain's earnestness. The dialogue between them is witty and sharp, with both characters coming across as likable in their own ways. Toffey's disinterest in gold and treasure adds a fresh twist to the usual dragon narrative, and his dislike of royalty (and human slayers) makes him an endearing, if unconventional, character.

The pacing is solid, with just the right amount of suspense during the standoff with the dragon. The moment when Germain tries to negotiate with Toffey, asking him why he’s in the way, is funny and shows a clever shift in the typical hero-dragon confrontation. The fact that Germain is just a plumber who got caught up in something far beyond his skill set is both humorous and relatable. His gradual shift from failing miserably to figuring things out—by simply listening and thinking things through—works well and gives a satisfying resolution.

The humor really shines through in the absurdities of the situation, and Germain’s self-deprecating nature makes him endearing. The dialogue flows well, and the twists, such as the dragon’s dislike of eating people or the accidental chain-cutting solution, feel organic to the story.

One small thing that could be improved is the opening paragraph, which could be tightened up to flow more smoothly. The "spectacular failure" concept is great but could use a more direct setup to really pull readers in quickly. Otherwise, the pacing and plot arc are fantastic.

Overall, this story is charming, lighthearted, and clever, with great character dynamics and witty dialogue that would make for an enjoyable read.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Sunlight Dances  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This quatern, Sunlight Dances, is a beautifully structured and evocative poem that effectively captures nostalgia, love, and the passage of time. The refrain, "Sunlight dances on light and dark," weaves through the poem seamlessly, reinforcing the contrast between past and present, joy and sorrow, permanence and change.

The imagery is strong and inviting—a wooden bridge, a curving flagstone walkway, blooming trees—all painting a serene setting that enhances the reflective mood. The mention of carving initials in an oak tree is a timeless symbol of lasting love, adding to the sentimental depth.

The rhythm and meter are consistent, adhering well to the quatern form. The repetition of the refrain never feels forced; instead, it gains emotional weight as the poem progresses, shifting from a simple observation of nature to a profound metaphor for enduring love.

If anything, the second stanza could be slightly refined for clarity—perhaps adjusting "Scenes of love return with a sigh" to something a bit more specific about the memory being recalled. However, as it stands, the poem is heartfelt, polished, and beautifully crafted.

Overall, this is a well-executed quatern that captures deep emotions with elegant simplicity.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem, Indians Playing Cards by Jim Dorrell, tells a sharp and somewhat humorous story about outdated laws and identity. It captures a moment of tension when the police interrupt a friendly poker game, citing an old, absurd law that prohibits playing cards with Native Americans. Chayton, the protagonist, cleverly turns the law back on the officer by pointing out his own Sioux heritage, thus escaping any legal trouble.

The poem does a good job of blending history, irony, and social commentary. It highlights the kind of laws that were once written to discriminate against certain groups—laws that, though unenforced, still linger. The dialogue between Chayton and the officer moves the story forward in a conversational way, making the situation feel real and relatable. There's also a light, almost playful tone despite the serious subject matter.

One of the strongest elements is how Chayton uses his mixed heritage to challenge the law. His quick thinking makes him a likable character, and the fact that the final hand ends in a draw is a clever way to wrap up the theme—suggesting that in the end, nobody truly wins under such unfair rules.

Structurally, the poem’s rhyming couplets keep it flowing smoothly, though at times the rhythm feels slightly uneven. Some lines could be tightened for a more consistent meter, but overall, the style suits the storytelling format.

This poem is both entertaining and thought-provoking. It’s a reminder of how outdated laws can sometimes linger in unexpected ways, and how identity can play a complex role in navigating social and legal situations.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Pickpocket  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Keaton Foster’s Pickpocket is a strikingly rhythmic and evocative poem that captures the essence of survival, desperation, and moral ambiguity. The fragmented structure and repetitive phrasing create a hypnotic effect, reinforcing the theme of necessity versus morality.

The poem presents pickpocketing not just as an act of theft but as a philosophy—a means of existence in a world where survival is paramount. The use of short, staccato lines like “Slip / The hand / Steal / The man” mimics the quick, precise nature of a pickpocket’s work, making the poem’s form reflect its subject matter. There’s an almost chant-like quality, as if the speaker is justifying their actions while acknowledging the weight of their choices.

One of the most intriguing aspects of the piece is its exploration of duality—the pickpocket versus the victim, necessity versus morality, survival versus redemption. The repetition of “never” emphasizes a sense of inevitability, suggesting that the act of stealing is not a choice but a requirement. Lines such as “The fittest / We prefer to be known as” add a Darwinian undertone, framing theft as an adaptation rather than a crime.

Religious imagery adds another layer of complexity, portraying God as “so cruel” and the pickpockets as forsaken children left to fend for themselves. The phrase “Prison / Not for our bodies / But rather / Our inescapable souls” suggests that the true punishment is internal—a burden of conscience rather than physical confinement.

Overall, Pickpocket is a powerful and thought-provoking piece. Its raw, unapologetic tone makes the reader question societal structures, morality, and what it truly means to survive. Foster masterfully blurs the line between criminality and necessity, forcing us to reconsider who the real victims are.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece has a beautifully raw, emotional vibe. The lines really convey the internal struggle of holding on to something that seems impossible to reach. The idea of waiting for something that may never come is heartbreaking, and the way it’s described feels very relatable. You can feel the weight of time dragging, as if it’s slowly suffocating the narrator. There’s an interesting balance between hope and resignation—holding on to a dream that might not exist and the difficult decision to let it go.

I like how the piece questions whether it's worth it to keep believing in something so distant. The conflict between staying hopeful and walking away from something that seems impossible is powerful. The lines "shattering dreams with your own hands" and "hope ran dry" perfectly capture that feeling of realization when hope starts to fade.

The imagery of “tearing out a piece of yourself” and “a future that still breathes inside you” adds a haunting dimension, showing the depth of emotional investment. It's like you're not just letting go of a dream but a part of yourself that you nurtured.

Overall, it’s a strong, evocative piece that captures the painful beauty of unrequited hope and the torment of deciding whether to let go. You do a great job of showing the depth of inner conflict without making it feel overly dramatic. It's powerful in its simplicity.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Consume  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece has a strong, emotional pull, pulling the reader into a feeling of being overwhelmed and consumed by someone or something. The metaphor of being "unraveled" thread by thread is powerful—it gives the sense of someone losing themselves in a relationship or situation, bit by bit, until they no longer feel whole. The repetition of "you" creates a suffocating presence, making it feel like the speaker cannot escape, no matter how hard they try.

The line “You linger in the static between thoughts” is one of my favorites—there’s something haunting about it, as if this person is always there, even in the quiet moments when the speaker is trying to find peace. The idea of being “half-formed” when the person is gone suggests that the speaker’s sense of self is completely dependent on their presence, and when they're absent, the speaker is incomplete, searching for something to fill the void.

It’s a beautiful piece with a sense of haunting longing and the feeling of being trapped in a cycle, unable to fully break free. The structure and flow work really well, too—there’s a nice ebb and flow between the lines that mirrors the emotional push and pull of the speaker’s inner turmoil.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Jimmy Smiled  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This short story has a nice, lighthearted vibe, capturing the playful nature of a young child and the humor in the chaos he creates. The dialogue flows well, especially between Ted and Jimmy, and it gives a good sense of their relationship. Jimmy's reasoning behind his actions – trying to create a baseball diamond – is both amusing and innocent, which is a great touch to show his creativity and how he views the world.

However, the story could benefit from a little more clarity in certain parts. For example, the mention of the two door mats and the round bucket covers feels a bit rushed and might need a clearer description for the reader to visualize the baseball diamond. Also, the transition to Jimmy’s reasoning about cleaning up the flowers could be smoother. It’s a nice idea, but it reads a little abruptly and could use a bit more detail to show how Jimmy realizes what needs to be done.

The ending, where Ted reassures Jimmy, is a sweet moment, but the shift from the chaos to the resolution is a little quick. A couple more lines could help to show the process of them working together to fix things up. Overall, though, it’s a fun story with a good moral about learning from mistakes and the importance of helping others.

One small note: there’s a small inconsistency in the characters’ names. In the final dialogue, Ted is referred to as "Jeff." It’s a minor slip, but fixing that would ensure consistency in the story.

Overall, this has a lot of charm! It’s simple, fun, and captures the essence of childhood mischief in a light, enjoyable way.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of for the rain  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
What a beautiful and evocative poem! The imagery of the rain as a friendly, almost human-like presence is vivid and full of life. You really bring out the emotion of anticipation and connection with nature in such a peaceful, almost intimate way. The comparison of the rain to a "giant whale" hovering above and the land being like a beggar reaching out for it is poetic and shows a deep relationship with the earth.

I also love how you juxtapose the sorrowful, traditional symbolism of rain with a much more personal and positive perspective. Rather than seeing it as something that symbolizes grief, you embrace it as a reunion, a moment of peace that brings rejuvenation both to the earth and to yourself. The imagery of standing in the rain with nothing to cover, and the metaphor about greeting a friend without gloves, gives it a tender, almost playful feel.

The tone feels nostalgic but full of warmth, like you're grateful for the rain's arrival even though it might leave you cold. There's an acceptance of the discomfort that comes with something beautiful, and that gives it an almost philosophical edge, making me think about the blessings in life that aren't always easy but are worth it.

It's a lovely piece, capturing the feeling of both serenity and excitement that comes with the return of rain, and the quiet joy it brings when we finally reconnect with something natural and essential. Keep writing!

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)

ChatGPT said:
This piece of writing offers a deep dive into self-reflection and the complexity of writing for oneself versus writing for others. It starts with a direct question—"Why do you write?"—and invites the reader to explore that question along with the author, using a mixture of humor, vulnerability, and honesty. The tone is introspective, with the writer reflecting on their own journey, the struggles of sharing their work, and the conflicting emotions of writing from passion versus writing from a sense of obligation or expectation.

One of the strengths here is the rawness of the author’s thoughts. The use of personal anecdotes adds a layer of authenticity and relatability. The writer doesn’t hold back in admitting that they’ve struggled with sharing their work, even though they’ve written prolifically. There’s an intriguing tension between the desire to write and the fear of being misunderstood or judged. The mention of the person who advised the writer to "just write more about anything, and make sure to at least share a line" adds depth to the narrative, hinting at a mentor-like figure who influenced the writer’s perspective on their craft.

The piece also does a great job of depicting the emotional ups and downs that come with writing. The brief mention of finding someone to write for and then losing them is heart-wrenching, revealing that writing is not just an act of creation but also an emotional outlet. The writer’s uncertainty about why they continue to write, especially after that loss, reflects the universal struggle many of us have with purpose—whether in writing or life itself.

However, there’s a bit of repetition that could be tightened up. For example, the writer revisits the question of why they write several times throughout the piece, which, while reflective, could be edited down for a smoother flow. The stream-of-consciousness style works well in parts, but could benefit from more structure in some areas.

In conclusion, this piece offers an honest, engaging exploration of a writer’s relationship with their craft, their fears, and their journey toward understanding why they write. The mix of humor, vulnerability, and introspection makes it relatable and human, drawing readers into a deeper conversation about the act of writing and what it truly means to create.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of April Fool's Day  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a fun and relatable take on April Fool’s Day! The narrator’s exhaustion from the endless, often predictable pranks is something a lot of people can relate to. The humor was well-paced, from the minor annoyances at work to the fake-out at the end with Rover. That final moment was particularly strong—the twist was both unexpected and hilarious, and the image of a dog pulling off the ultimate prank was a great way to end the story.

The writing style is casual and engaging, making it easy to follow along with the narrator’s increasing frustration. The inner monologue was well-executed, keeping a light, humorous tone while still making it clear that they were truly over it. The line about rethinking Angela’s promotion was a nice touch—it added to the workplace antics without over-explaining the joke.

If I had to suggest anything, I’d say a bit more sensory detail could enhance the humor. Maybe describing the way the pranks started blending together or how the narrator physically felt by the end of the day (tension in the shoulders, sighing every five minutes, etc.) would make their frustration even more vivid. But overall, this was a strong and entertaining short piece.

That ending though — Rover is a prankster legend!




WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of a breather  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a beautifully introspective and poetic piece that captures the essence of writing as an emotional release. The rhythm flows smoothly, and there’s a clear passion behind the words. The imagery of a blank paper as an opportunity to create, express, and even heal is especially strong.

I love how it highlights both the joy and the weight of writing—the need to give words to emotions, whether they’re regrets or happiness. The idea that silence can be torturous when emotions are left unspoken is a powerful thought, and it resonates deeply with anyone who finds solace in writing.

If anything, you could experiment with slightly varying the rhythm to make certain lines hit even harder. But overall, this is a heartfelt and inspiring piece that speaks to the soul of every writer.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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23
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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a well-crafted piece with a classical, almost fable-like tone. The dialogue and descriptions lend themselves to a timeless, philosophical atmosphere, making it feel like a parable about wisdom and maturity. However, there are a few areas where it could be refined for clarity and flow.

Strengths:
Strong Characterization:

Samuel’s transformation from a rebellious youth to someone contemplating deeper truths is compelling.
Bartholomew exudes the wisdom and gravitas of a seasoned philosopher.
Oswald’s concern for his son’s future is clear, making him more than just a rigid father figure.
Philosophical Depth:

The idea that numbers exist beyond time and space is intriguing and adds weight to the lesson.
The theme of perceiving beyond the physical world is well-executed.
Engaging Dialogue:

Bartholomew’s speech patterns add depth and authority.
Samuel’s hesitant reply makes him feel real, showing his youthful uncertainty.
Areas for Improvement:
Sentence Structure & Flow:

Some sentences could be tightened for better readability. Example:
"Samuel was a rather rambunctious youth. As with most his age, he seemed destined for everlasting rebellion."
→ Could be more fluid as: "Like many his age, Samuel was a rambunctious youth, seemingly destined for rebellion."
The phrase "His father Oswald, a politician born from a long line of regal landowners, was rather displeased with this situation." feels a bit formal.
→ Could be: "His father, Oswald, a politician from a long line of regal landowners, was far from pleased."
Exposition vs. Showing:

Instead of telling us Oswald was displeased, show his frustration through gestures, expressions, or tone. Maybe have him sigh, glare at Samuel, or fidget with his coat as they ride to Bartholomew’s place.
Dialogue Attribution & Flow:
The long stretch of dialogue without action can make it feel less immersive. Adding small descriptive beats (e.g., Bartholomew stroked his beard before speaking...) could help break it up.
Instead of "His voice bellowed with stoic equanimity," a more natural description might be "His voice was steady, carrying the weight of years."
Ending Expansion:

The final sentence is powerful but feels abrupt. Samuel's transformation could use a brief moment of introspection. Perhaps show Oswald noticing a change in his son’s posture or gaze.
Overall Verdict:
A strong, thought-provoking piece with great potential. With some refinements in sentence flow and a bit more “showing,” it could be even more immersive.


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Review of Unwanted Memories  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem plays with repetition and contradiction, which gives it a unique, almost whimsical rhythm. The way it loops around the ideas of remembering and forgetting makes it feel like a mental tug-of-war, which is an interesting effect.

One thing that stands out is the phrase “memory of my memories,” which creates a layered, almost dreamlike quality. The poem also has a sing-song quality due to its rhyme scheme, which makes it engaging. However, because of the constant back-and-forth on remembering and forgetting, the meaning can feel a bit tangled at times.

The last line is intriguing but a little unclear—“Poet-ray” seems to be a play on "poetry," but it might need more context for readers to fully grasp its significance. If it's meant to be a wordplay, you could clarify that through slight rewording or a stronger connection earlier in the poem.

Overall, the poem effectively captures the paradox of trying to hold onto memories while also wanting to let them go. If you’re aiming for a clearer impact, you might refine some of the phrasing to ensure that the core message—whether it’s about regret, nostalgia, or something else—shines through more directly.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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25
25
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a touching and heartfelt story about love, memory, and the quiet loneliness that lingers after loss. The way Norma speaks to her late husband, Alf, adds a layer of warmth and depth, making her grief feel tender rather than overwhelming. Her conversations with him, especially the imagined teasing about the moisturizer, show how deeply their relationship is still a part of her daily life. It’s a beautiful way of portraying enduring love.

The story flows naturally, with a steady rhythm that mirrors Norma’s day—from getting ready for the wedding to her bittersweet reflections at the reception. There’s a contrast between the lively, youthful energy of the wedding and Norma’s growing awareness of her age, which is captured beautifully in her interactions with John. His kindness in offering to take her home, and then later toasting with her in a quieter space, adds a nice, hopeful touch. It suggests that even as time passes and people fade from our lives, new connections can still form.

One of the strongest moments is when Sally looks at the photographs and Norma hands her the picture of her and Alf, saying, “That’s when we were beautiful.” That single line carries so much emotion—it’s nostalgic, proud, and a little wistful all at once. It sums up the story’s theme of cherishing the past while accepting the present.

If there’s any room for improvement, it would be to deepen the emotional tension slightly in places. Perhaps expanding Norma’s feelings at the wedding—seeing Tracy so full of love and remembering her own wedding—could add another layer to her reflections. Maybe she briefly struggles with being there without Alf before finding comfort in his imagined presence.

Overall, it’s a beautifully written, emotionally rich piece that captures the quiet, everyday ways grief and love intertwine.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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