\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rick12221
Review Requests: ON
1,028 Public Reviews Given
1,048 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... -1- 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... Next
1
1
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review of “Production Line Moments”

This short piece is a charming little slice-of-life moment that captures something surprisingly rare in workplace fiction—genuine warmth. It gives a peek into the daily grind of two women, Shelia and Janet, on a factory line, but instead of focusing on the drudgery or tension, it highlights their friendship and humor, which helps keep the mood light and relatable.

Right from the start, we’re thrown into the middle of a workday, and the dialogue moves quickly, keeping the pacing tight. Janet’s frustration feels real, and Shelia’s distracted state gives us just enough of a mystery to keep us interested. The twist—that Shelia forgot she was supposed to give Janet a ride—feels both mundane and important at the same time, which makes it believable. That kind of forgetfulness hits close to home, and it adds to the realism.

The strength here is definitely in the banter between the two women. Their conversation flows naturally, and their laughter feels earned. They tease each other, but there’s no malice—it’s the kind of bond you see between coworkers who’ve spent years on the line together. Even Dave, the grumpy supervisor, feels familiar. His inner thoughts add a nice finishing touch, showing how even though he pretends to be annoyed, he knows they’re reliable. That last line about him grumping away gives the story a little sting of humor right at the end.

There’s no major plot twist or life-altering decision here, and honestly, that’s what makes the story work. It’s not trying to be bigger than it is. It captures a small moment, lets us hang out with a couple of real-feeling people, and ends with a laugh. That’s something a lot of short pieces forget to do—this one doesn't.

If anything, I would’ve liked maybe one extra beat of inner thought or small action to ground Shelia more. She says she forgot something important, but there’s not a strong hint of panic or guilt—just a casual realization. That works for tone, but a touch more emotional texture might have added depth. Still, for what this is—a quick, human moment—it hits just right.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
2
2
Review of God Help Us.  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for sharing this. It’s raw, emotional, and you clearly wrote it straight from the gut. There’s a lot of power in that. The tone is direct and personal, and it doesn't shy away from expressing deep frustration, sadness, and a protective instinct toward someone you care about. That honesty is what gives your writing its punch.

Here’s my take on it overall:

What Works Well

Emotionally Charged Voice: You’re not sugarcoating anything, and that helps the message feel authentic. Your anger, confusion, and sadness bleed through every line, which creates a strong connection with the reader. Even if they don’t agree, they’ll feel where you're coming from.

Structure and Flow: The short, staggered lines make it feel like you’re thinking out loud. Almost like a mental spiral. That actually fits the vibe well. It reads like a storm of thoughts that just couldn’t be contained anymore.

Repetition of “Why?”: This works as a motif. It reflects that feeling of being stuck, asking the same unanswerable question over and over. It shows that you’re not just angry, you’re searching.

Protective Element: When you mention the person you care about being caught in this and your desire to shield them, it softens the harshness just enough to humanize the speaker. That’s really important. It’s not just about bashing religion; it’s about pain, powerlessness, and wanting to help someone.

What Might Need Work

Tone vs. Audience: Depending on who’s reading this, the “cult-like” comparisons and phrases like “false hope” or “Evil we know as Religion” could come off as alienating. If that’s what you intended, like a full-on vent piece, then you nailed it. But if the goal is to start a conversation or change minds, some of this could turn people off before they get to the deeper message. Maybe consider softening just a few phrases if you want a wider audience to take it seriously.

Lack of Personal Backstory: You hint at the relationship between you and this person, but a few more personal details would really raise the emotional stakes. Who are they to you? What made this day particularly hard? Even just a line or two could make the emotion land harder.

"Thousands of Years" Repetition: It’s effective, but maybe use it once or twice instead of multiple times. That’ll give it more weight when it hits.

Final Thoughts

This reads like the kind of thing someone writes when they’re trying to process a moment that really got to them. And that’s valuable. It doesn’t feel fake or forced, and that honesty is something a lot of people can relate to. Even if they don’t share the same views on religion. You’re wrestling with something old and heavy, and it’s clear you're doing it out of love, not just anger.

If you keep writing like this, speaking from your heart, not holding back, you’re going to connect with readers who feel trapped in similar situations. That’s real storytelling.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
3
3
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Anna Andreevna Akhmatova is strong and informative. it shows real respect for her legacy and clearly explains her place in literature. Overall, you’ve done a great job laying out the key points of her life, work, and influence. That said, there are a few areas where you could smooth out the flow, simplify some sections, and clear up a few things to make it more natural and engaging especially at a 10th-grade reading level.

Here’s what I liked and what I think could use a bit of tightening up:

What works well:

Clear Structure – You organized the review logically: biography, creative path, personal life, works, and influence. This helps readers understand the big picture.

Rich Content – You included both well known and lesser known works. The lists of collections and selected poems give depth.

Emotional Core – You managed to show that her life wasn’t just about writing, it was about surviving in dark times and turning that into powerful poetry.

Suggestions for improvement:

Tone and Simplicity – Some parts sound a bit too academic. Try shortening sentences and keeping language more casual. For example:

Original: "Her work continues to influence modern poets and writers."

Better: "Her poems still speak to readers today and influence writers around the world."

Clarify and Fix Small Errors – A few places need slight corrections:

“The Eternal Call” is listed as her first book, but her actual first published collection is “Evening” (1912). “The Eternal Call” seems to be a mistaken title or mistranslation.

In the poetry list, “The White Pack” should be “The White Flock.”

Sentence Flow – Some transitions are a little abrupt. For instance:

“Poetry during the years of repression” can blend better with the previous section. You might say: “Even under intense censorship, she never stopped writing.”

Repetition – The theme of love, loss, and suffering gets repeated a lot. You can still keep these themes but vary how you bring them up or focus on different angles, like her bravery or quiet defiance.

Suggested revision of one paragraph:

Original:
“Despite the difficult conditions, Akhmatova continued to write. In the 1940s, she created her most famous works, such as Requiem-- a poem about the suffering of mothers who lost their children during the years of Stalinist repression. This work has become a symbol of the pain and loss of an entire generation.”

Revised:
“Even during the worst years of repression, Akhmatova kept writing. In the 1940s, she wrote Requiem, one of her most powerful pieces. It speaks for all the mothers who lost their children to Stalin’s prisons. The poem became a symbol of silent suffering and the strength people held onto in the darkest times.”

Overall take:

This is a strong, detailed review that clearly respects Akhmatova’s work and legacy. With a few edits for clarity, tone, and flow, it’ll feel more natural and easier to connect with, especially for younger readers or casual learners. You’re close to a polished version already


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
4
4
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem feels like a quiet walk through a sleeping town, and I really liked that about it. There's a calmness in the way the poet observes everything, like they’re watching the world hold its breath under the glow of streetlamps and moonlight. The repetition of the first and last stanzas gives it a soft echo, like a thought that lingers. The line “How beautiful you look in the dark of the moon” is simple, but it sticks. It feels personal—like it could be about a person, a memory, or even the town itself.

What I found really strong was the contrast between day and night. The poem mentions “painted memories” and “daylight dreams,” but now those are fading under the “lamp light,” where things blur and feel uncertain. There's a sense of being caught off guard—“a welcome assault / upon my vision”—like beauty showed up when the speaker wasn't ready for it.

The middle part shifts a bit to focus on buildings like the Fire Station and Town Hall. It’s kind of cool how the poet gives them a voice, saying they’re “dreaming of better days.” It makes the town feel like a living thing with its own tiredness and hope.

Then we get those flashing traffic lights and the whispering line—“ssshhhhh... don’t wake her.” That made me smile. It’s like the poet is in on a secret, letting us in on the idea that even the town deserves a moment of peace.

Overall, it’s a soft, reflective piece that feels like love for a small town mixed with a little sadness and a lot of appreciation for quiet moments. Not a loud poem at all, but one that lingers if you sit with it.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
5
5
Review of Little Snow  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
ChatGPT said:
This poem has a quirky charm that makes it feel like a local folktale or a whispered legend passed down in small towns. Little Snow reads like a character born from autumn myths—someone you can almost imagine spotting near the edge of the woods on a foggy evening. The way he "walks in the rain / ‘cause he like to feel / water on his feet" gives him a childlike curiosity. You get the sense that he’s a bit of an outsider, living by his own rhythm, kind of like the last leaf on a tree that refuses to fall.

The grammar and word choices feel intentional—lines like “He don’t know no better” add a certain roughness, a dialect that feels authentic to the backwoods setting. It gives him voice. He isn’t polished, and he doesn’t need to be. He’s part mystery, part hermit, part creature of habit. The details about him making his own food by smashing nuts with his heel was oddly specific and kind of brilliant. That image lingers. You imagine him doing this ritual alone, out in the forest, making something simple and pure.

I really liked the side note about the yoghurt barn. It’s funny and random, but it deepens the world around Little Snow. It makes the setting feel alive—like this story exists in a place where people know about Little Snow, where he’s respected, maybe even feared a little. The barn wanting his nut mix and him refusing gives him an edge, like a quiet rebel who doesn’t care for fame or profit.

The ending is subtle. It doesn’t wrap everything up neatly, but that fits the mood. You’re just left with the advice: “Keep an eye out.” It leaves a soft feeling of mystery, like maybe you will see him—after Halloween, when the cold creeps in and the trees are bare.

Overall, this poem might feel odd to someone looking for something traditional or polished, but that’s not the point. It's raw, whimsical, and a little eerie in a playful way. I think that’s what makes it memorable.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
6
6
Review of Pillows  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem hits hard in a quiet kind of way. It's simple in its language, but there's so much emotion packed into those short lines. The first two lines set the tone with a mix of irony and sadness—there’s this expectation of comfort, of peace, but instead, there's unease. That shift from something as ordinary as a pillow into something as deeply unsettling as recurring nightmares is a strong way to pull the reader in.

What really stands out is how it moves from an outside perspective (“you sit bolt-straight”) to a more intimate one—there’s care in the narrator’s attempt to reach out, to comfort, but also a helplessness. That balance of love and fear is powerful. You can feel the narrator's worry, their tiredness maybe, but mostly their desire to protect, even when they can’t.

The nightmare imagery is vivid but not overdone. The “daemon with a cloak’s red hue” and “gnashing teeth” gives just enough for us to feel the terror without dragging us too far into fantasy. The last line is probably the strongest—it ends on that lingering fear, the kind that doesn’t disappear with the sun. That’s a very real feeling for anyone who’s ever dealt with anxiety or trauma—dreams that blur into waking life, the fear that doesn’t stay in your sleep.

It’s quiet and short, but it feels personal. Like something written late at night, maybe after seeing someone go through this exact thing. That honesty makes it stick. If you were thinking about expanding this or adding more pieces like it, I’d say keep that balance of care and helplessness. It’s what makes this piece feel so real.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
7
7
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This chapter has a calm, thoughtful vibe to it, and I really like how it slowly opens up the inner world of the narrator while showing us just how much a small conversation can change a person’s mindset. Green of a new chance is a perfect title for this one. It’s all about slow changes, new beginnings, and how people—especially strangers—can leave a strong mark without even trying.

The chapter starts with this sleepy, almost annoyed tone from the narrator, who’s clearly tired of the grey scenery and the stillness of the journey. That kind of honesty makes the character feel real. It’s relatable too—sometimes when life is in between stages, like between school and work, or childhood and adulthood, it can feel dull and confusing. The narrator’s thoughts reflect that perfectly without being too dramatic.

Then comes the “strange passenger,” who adds color to the grey setting, both literally and emotionally. Their conversation feels natural and kind of reminds me of those random, deep talks people sometimes have with strangers on long trips. The fact that he’s dressed like a detective adds a bit of mystery too—it makes the reader wonder if he’s just a teacher or someone more important.

What really works in this chapter is how it uses the train ride as a symbol. The moving train, the dark clouds, the empty wagon—all of that mirrors the narrator’s headspace. But when the conversation picks up, it’s like the clouds slowly lift a bit. The stranger offers some surprisingly deep insight about stories, chances, and not wasting opportunities. His little parable about the emerald might be simple, but it carries weight. It makes you pause and think, which is exactly what the narrator does too.

The writing style is casual, which fits the narrator’s voice well. There are moments that feel a bit clunky or need cleaner punctuation, but honestly, that adds to the charm. It feels like someone’s telling you the story right out of their journal or memory.

My only suggestion would be to give a little more emotional detail in the narrator’s thoughts when the stranger starts talking about purpose and making the most of a new beginning. That would make the ending hit harder. Maybe show a bit more hesitation or reflection in the narrator—something to show that what the man said is actually starting to settle deep.

Overall, this chapter is subtle but rich. It’s quiet but meaningful, and it really captures that awkward but important moment when a young person steps into a new chapter of life with uncertainty and hope tangled together. The “green” theme fits—green as in newness, growth, maybe even envy or hesitation—and that makes the title feel thoughtful and symbolic. I'm curious to see where the narrator ends up next.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
8
8
Review of Echoes of Us  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Echoes of Us is a slow burn of grief, memory, and a kind of love that never really got its chance to breathe fully. It’s written like a song stretched out into a long, aching letter—more poetic than narrative, more felt than told. And honestly, that’s what gives it weight. It doesn’t read like a typical love poem or heartbreak story. It feels lived-in, almost like a confession whispered in the dark, meant only for the one who'll never quite hear it.

What makes this piece stand out is how deeply personal it feels. The narrator isn’t just mourning a person—they’re mourning a version of themselves that existed with that person. You get the sense that they loved someone who was broken in ways they couldn’t fix, and that the love itself became both a shelter and a trap. There's a constant push and pull between wanting to hold on and needing to let go, which keeps the whole thing feeling raw and real.

The strongest parts are the metaphors. The vinyl record spinning in the background of their memories. The hallway of their past. The wings given, then broken. The void that remains. It’s all symbolic, but not in a way that feels forced. It paints emotion without needing a full plot. The moment when the narrator admits they "made a home in your sorrow" is probably the most painful and beautiful line in the whole piece—it says so much in so few words.

There's also this quiet desperation throughout. Not loud, not dramatic—just this steady ache that builds with every stanza. The references to music, silence, empty bottles, and echoing lyrics make it feel like love itself is haunted. And the person being spoken to? They’re almost like a ghost. Not dead, but gone. Changed. Distant. There's no happy ending here, but there is closure. It’s not dramatic or full of clarity, but it’s there—in the forgiveness, in the letting go, even if it's reluctant.

Now, if I had to offer one suggestion, it would be to trim or tighten a few spots near the middle. The repetition of themes (like pain, music, and memory) is powerful, but it borders on a bit too much in some stanzas. If just a few lines were cut or reworded, the emotional impact might actually hit harder. That said, the long format does help capture how it feels to process something you can’t quite let go of—how it loops and drags and repeats in your mind.

There’s no mistaking the voice here—it’s tender, melancholic, and honest. You’re not reading about heartbreak; you’re sitting in it with the narrator. And that’s hard to pull off, especially without veering into cliché or melodrama. This piece walks that line carefully and mostly succeeds.

In the end, Echoes of Us isn’t a story about love working out. It’s about what it means to love someone through their pain, and what it costs to walk away from them without ever really stopping loving them. It’s sad, yes—but it’s also full of grace. And that last section? Where the narrator asks to be remembered for the warmth they gave, not the silence that followed—that’s the kind of thing that stays with you.

It's a beautiful piece. Quiet, honest, and deeply human. If this is the kind of writing you’re aiming to do more of, you’re definitely on the right path.

WriterRick


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
9
9
Review of Elm Street  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This short story, Elm Street, is a fun, quick supernatural tale with a touch of mystery and light humor. It has that perfect spooky-but-playful vibe that fits well in a middle school or early high school setting. I liked how the story didn’t go over the top with horror and instead leaned more into suspense and curiosity.

The opening is solid. The characters are quickly introduced—Ken, a bit reluctant and unsure, and Randy, the more adventurous and impulsive type. The dynamic between them works well for setting up the situation. You get the feeling right away that Ken’s stepping out of his comfort zone, and Randy is the kind of friend who drags you into weird adventures.

The haunted house on Elm Street is classic. Everyone has that one creepy house in town that kids dare each other to go near. The fact that the door is unlocked and Randy just walks right in keeps things moving. The pacing is fast but not rushed, and the dialogue feels natural for their age.

When Arnold shows up, things get interesting. I like that little twist where we realize Ken is a ghost, and Arnold is sort of his… ghost mentor? Guardian? That part could’ve used just a bit more clarity or buildup. It's revealed very suddenly, and it leaves some questions hanging—but maybe that’s the point. The memory-wipe moment is clever, and it makes the ending feel dreamlike.

The last line is my favorite. “No matter how hard he tried, Randy could never seem to find Elm Street.” It leaves you wondering—was it even real? Or is Elm Street some kind of supernatural place only meant to be visited once? That’s the kind of ending that lingers a little.

Overall, I think it’s a great short story that balances mystery, supernatural elements, and friendship all in under 500 words. If I had to give feedback, I'd say maybe give a little more background on Arnold or hint earlier that something's off about Ken. But even without that, it’s a fun read with a good mix of spooky and strange. Definitely feels like the beginning of a bigger story if you ever wanted to expand it.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
10
10
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem hits with a sense of emotional weight tucked inside carefully chosen lines. It doesn’t go out of its way to explain itself, which actually adds to its charm. There’s a poetic ambiguity here—like we’re supposed to feel our way through the verses rather than analyze them to death. That works, mostly.

The opening line, “Her trust and assurances given a pour,” is an interesting twist of phrasing. It feels like trust was spilled out—maybe too generously—and now it's been turned into something of low value (“such pennies”) yet somehow still precious (“a priceless allure”). That duality makes you stop and think. It suggests that even cheapened moments can carry a weight that sticks with us.

The second stanza stands out most to me. The imagery becomes more lively and layered, especially with “playful devices, despondent, with sass.” That contradiction—playful but despondent—gives personality to the instruments. It paints a musical score that’s emotional and alive, like jazz in a moody nightclub. That line gives the poem a real beat and rhythm, and the mention of brass and woodwinds helps anchor the feeling in sound.

There’s a natural progression in the last stanza—from storm to clarity. “Certainly crisp like the earth’s major storms” sets up an intense tone, and then that closing image of “blue skies are soaring” leaves us with hope. It wraps up the poem on an uplifting note, like the worst has passed, and something better is finally breaking through.

Overall, the structure feels balanced, the tone is mature but not overly complicated, and there's a blend of abstract emotion and grounded imagery. A few phrases could be tightened up for clarity, but honestly, the mystery of it is part of what makes it work. It's reflective, slightly cryptic, and thoughtful—like a quiet storm that's just starting to lift.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
11
11
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
ChatGPT said:
This little reflection is touching, peaceful, and full of quiet wisdom. It’s got that “sit on the porch with coffee and just think about life” kind of vibe, which makes it really comforting to read. The way you start with the quietness of the morning, the sound of birds, and the absence of your great-grandson Aiden instantly sets a gentle, emotional tone. It feels personal without being heavy, which is a hard balance to strike—but you do it well.

The paragraph about the weather adds a sense of wonder, and I like how you notice the contrast between places. It gives this small moment of your morning a much bigger backdrop, like you’re both grounded in your own peace but still aware of the world’s unpredictability. That’s a thoughtful way to show how gratitude isn’t about ignoring the chaos—it’s about finding stillness in the middle of it.

The repetition of “I have lived long enough…” works beautifully. It’s poetic, and each line carries a little more weight than the last. You could feel the years in those words, not in a tired way, but in a seasoned, soulful kind of way. It’s like a list of quiet life lessons that don’t scream but sit with you for a while.

And that last part? The line about the present being a gift—yes, it’s a phrase we’ve all heard, but the way you built up to it made it feel brand new again. You earn that line. Then, ending it by turning the message outward, inviting the reader to reflect too, is just the right touch. It makes the whole thing feel like a conversation or a letter written from the heart.

If anything, I’d only suggest maybe smoothing the part about the weather slightly—it jumps a bit quickly from awe to listing multiple states. A softer transition would keep the rhythm going. But that’s a small thing in an otherwise lovely and meaningful piece.

Overall, it’s the kind of writing that reminds people to slow down and breathe. And these days, that’s a gift.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
12
12
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This opening has a really raw, emotional punch to it. It drops us right into the moment without over-explaining or dumping backstory, which works well for keeping the reader hooked. There's a quiet power in the simplicity of your descriptions—like the shoes silent on frost-slick pavement, or the breath misting in the cold. It makes the world feel real and lived-in without having to say too much.

The fact that the city is powered by people with supernatural abilities, but you focus instead on hunger and survival, makes it hit harder. It’s like the world might be full of magic and wonder, but for your characters, that doesn’t mean safety or comfort—it just means surviving another night in a broken place. That contrast could become one of your story’s strongest points, especially if the powers and city development stuff are shown to mostly benefit the privileged few. It gives the whole thing a quiet dystopian vibe.

The line “it was a good kind of heavy—the kind that meant we’d be full tonight, not just pretending” really stood out. It says so much about the characters’ reality without needing a long explanation. Same goes for “too tired to be scared, and too hungry to care.” It feels like the kind of line someone lives, not just something poetic to throw in. So that’s working really well.

You also do a nice job of setting the atmosphere. That alley scene feels gritty and familiar—the rusted fire escape, the graffiti, the routine of survival. It’s a small world, but it has weight.

When you bring in Jason and the unknown girl at the end, it creates just the right amount of tension. It makes us wonder: Who is she? Is she a threat, a friend, someone from their past? It’s a good place to pause because it builds a reason to keep reading.

The only real suggestion I’d give is maybe start hinting at the supernatural side just a bit earlier—not through info-dumping, but maybe a flicker of something strange in the world. Like a light hovering in the distance, or graffiti that moves, or someone in the distance doing something obviously unnatural. Just one little detail would be enough to tie the world you described at the top into the quiet, hungry moment of this character’s life.

That said, the piece works really well on its own too. It's intimate, grounded, and very human.

Looking forward to seeing how this unfolds. You've got something strong here. Keep going.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
13
13
Review of A Holy Matter  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem has a really peaceful, reflective tone, which works well with the themes of faith, love, and hope. The opening lines set a scene that’s simple yet evocative, pulling the reader into a quiet moment of contemplation. The cold kitchen chair creates a subtle image of isolation, which contrasts nicely with the warmth that faith and love seem to offer.

The second stanza shifts toward an introspective question about dreams and the possibility of them coming true. This gives the poem an open-ended feeling, as if the speaker is trying to make sense of their journey through life and the role faith plays in it. There’s a lot of hope in the idea that we’re never alone, which adds depth to the writing.

The religious undertones are clear, especially with references to God's power and guidance. This is where the poem gets its sense of purpose—there’s an assurance that with faith, both personal dreams and the larger, collective struggle against hate will be overcome. The line "To see the light and walk the hill for a love that truly shines" feels powerful and optimistic.

However, there are a few moments where the phrasing feels a bit forced, particularly in the lines "I pen this item for others to read but only if they choose" and "My thoughts are open and my heart is free while writing begins its sway." These could be tightened up for smoother flow and clarity. For example, "item" could be replaced with something more specific, and "writing begins its sway" feels like it’s trying a bit too hard to sound poetic.

Overall, the poem does a great job of conveying a sense of peace and optimism, with strong themes of spiritual support and love overcoming adversity. It would work well as a personal reflection or a piece of inspirational writing, especially for those seeking reassurance and strength in faith.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
14
14
Review of Glad Cafe  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem has a charming, lighthearted feel that captures the essence of a chance meeting blossoming into something meaningful. The setting is cozy, with the "window near the door" creating an intimate and warm image, and the sequence of events, from the man noticing her to their eventual connection, feels like a natural progression of a budding romance.

The tone is sweet, and the playful elements, like bribing the waiter to check for a ring and sharing a "dainty dish," add a touch of humor without undermining the sincerity of the developing relationship. The casual, almost whimsical nature of the romance adds to its charm, and the final line—"Ain't life grand"—wraps it all up with a sense of joy and fulfillment.

There is a slight sense of formula to the narrative, but it's not overwhelming. The poem’s structure is predictable, but that's part of its appeal, like a classic love story that delivers exactly what you'd expect but still manages to feel special.

In terms of rhythm and flow, it could benefit from a bit more variation in pacing. For example, the stanzas are mostly consistent in length, which works, but sometimes it can make the poem feel a bit flat. A few more unexpected shifts could elevate the overall effect.

Overall, this piece works well as a feel-good, light romance, and the simplicity of the approach makes it easy for readers to connect with. The imagery is clear, and the poem succeeds in evoking the joy of two people finding each other by chance.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
15
15
Review of Lost in Emotion  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece, Insertion, feels like a raw, honest unraveling of emotional confusion and hurt. It’s not polished in a traditional poetic sense, but that’s actually part of its charm—it reads like someone talking straight from their gut, and that makes it feel real. The speaker’s voice sounds like someone trying to process a complex situation, maybe after a relationship that never quite got defined properly. It captures the ache of uncertainty—of not knowing if what you felt was real, or if it was mutual, or if you were just a filler in someone else’s story.

The word “insertion” becomes this central metaphor, and while it might be a bit vague at first, it grows in meaning as the poem goes on. It’s not just about being added into someone’s life, it’s about being placed somewhere emotionally—without clarity or consent—and then left there to sort out what it all meant. That lack of communication, the overthinking, the guessing, the self-blame—these are all things a lot of people deal with in quiet moments, and the poem brings that out naturally.

There’s also a deep emotional honesty in lines like “Why did you say you loved me?” and “Words are carried away by the wind.” Those are the kinds of thoughts that hit you late at night when you’re turning memories over in your mind, wondering what was real. And the final realization—how both people are responsible, in different ways—is surprisingly mature. It avoids just blaming one side and instead shows how relationships can fall apart because no one speaks up when it matters.

If anything could make it stronger, maybe tightening a few lines or finding clearer metaphors might help sharpen the emotional hit, but honestly, the unfiltered feel is what gives it power. It’s not trying to be pretty. It’s trying to be truthful. And it succeeds at that.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
16
16
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was really strong. You’ve got something here that reads like a polished short story you'd find in a solid anthology. It grabs you with a quiet, familiar moment—a birthday night drive—and by the end, it’s pulled you through a visceral, heartbreaking crash and into this eerie, otherworldly negotiation between life, death, and something darker. Let me break it down:

What worked extremely well:
1. The opening was cinematic.
The rain on the windshield, the kids sleepy and full, the soft domestic detail of Benny’s wobbly dinosaur—this was so grounded, so real. The scene’s warmth gives the twist even more punch. You pulled off a really clean tonal shift without it feeling jarring. That’s hard to do.

2. The crash sequence was intense but readable.
You didn’t get bogged down in technicalities. It flowed like memory: heightened, fast, with emotional beats tucked in. You could feel the panic and clarity of a man doing everything to save his family. The bit with the 2x4 changing the SUV’s trajectory was believable and well-paced.

3. The post-death interaction was unsettling and fresh.
The transition to the gray room felt dreamlike in the right way—confusing, slightly off, building dread. The "lawyer" was an excellent metaphor for spiritual temptation, bureaucracy, and demonic presence all in one. You let the story lean into that horror-fantasy vibe without over-explaining it.

4. The bells were a brilliant, symbolic payoff.
They came at the perfect moment and weren’t cheesy. They offered contrast to the lawyer’s chaos—clean, ancient, right. You didn’t explain them too much, which made them feel sacred. That restraint made the ending feel earned.

5. The epilogue was a quiet win.
I liked that he didn’t get a cheesy "back to life" resurrection. He’s still gone, but now a guardian, without the price tag. That small redemption—without control—gives the whole thing heart. The way you phrase “trusting they’ll heal without my meddling” was perfect.

Small things to tweak or consider:
- You could tighten the lawyer’s dialogue slightly.
He’s sinister, yes, but some of his lines leaned into cliché territory. “Sign now, sort details later” was good, but “fantastic opportunity” and “great job out there” might be a little too polished or salesy unless you’re going for that sleazy corporate vibe hard.

- You might want to clarify the "test" just a bit.
The voice saying “That was the test. You passed” is satisfying, but because the lawyer’s con felt like a surprise ambush, calling it a “test” can feel retroactively engineered. Maybe one more sentence earlier on with a moment of hesitation—him wondering why he’s alone instead of in some heaven or hell—could set that up better.

- Consider trimming a few modifiers.
Sometimes you pile them up (“guttural roar,” “syrup-slow,” “primal and perfect”) which mostly works, but once in a while, it slows the pace. Especially during the crash or the contract scene, trimming even a few would sharpen the urgency.

Final thoughts:
This story has heart, dread, and soul. It reads like a love letter to what really matters—family, sacrifice, and choice—even in the weirdest, darkest corners of existence. It never felt like it was trying too hard. It was clean, real, and hit the gut in the right ways.

Honestly, I’d give this one 9/10. A little polish and it could absolutely be submission-ready for contests or publications that take short fantasy/supernatural fiction. Have you thought about publishing it? I'd love to read more from this universe or even follow James as he watches over his family.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
17
17
Review of Losing It  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This piece hits like a wave—quiet but powerful, heavy with emotion. It’s raw, like someone reaching out in the only way they know how, when words have stopped being heard. You can feel the exhaustion between the lines, how it’s not just about physical pain, but the mental and emotional wear that comes from feeling invisible in your own suffering.

The repetition of “slowly” at the beginning works really well. It gives the sense that this isn’t a sudden collapse, but a gradual, painful unraveling. That kind of slow break is hard to describe, but you did it in a way that feels very real and personal. It’s not overdone, and that restraint actually makes it hit harder.

The “--------- SILENT ----------” line is chilling. It puts the reader in your place instantly—the isolation, the hopelessness of feeling like you’re screaming but no one hears. That’s a feeling a lot of people carry quietly, and the way you illustrated it gives it shape and voice.

The part where you question your own reactions—whether you're too much, whether you're selfish for feeling pain—is heartbreaking. That kind of inner conflict adds layers to the piece. It's not just about suffering; it’s about the shame and doubt that often ride alongside it.

If there’s one thing to consider expanding on, it might be the idea of pushing others away. That moment stood out and felt important, but a little more reflection there could make it even more powerful. Did you push them away for protection? Out of fear? That one line could open up a whole new emotional thread if you wanted it to.

Overall, this is a strong, deeply emotional piece. It doesn’t try to wrap things up neatly, which makes it even more real. There's no forced silver lining, just honest reflection. That honesty makes it resonate. You’re giving a voice to something many people feel but don’t know how to say—and that matters.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
18
18
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
"End-of-the-world Survival Blues" is a powerful and evocative piece that captures the weight of modern anxieties in the face of overwhelming global crises. Through a mix of personal reflection and sharp commentary on climate change, political instability, and societal breakdowns, the poem paints a picture of a world on the brink of collapse.

The opening lines immediately set the tone, using a mix of self-expression ("I got them") and an urgency around the "end-of-the-world" blues. The reference to Frank Zappa’s lyrics reinforces the idea that this is not a new feeling, but something that's been building over time. The poem mirrors the recurring nature of bad news we receive daily, whether it’s about natural disasters or societal unrest, offering a sense of relentless doom.

The imagery of climate change is particularly poignant, as it transforms from an abstract threat into a very real, present danger. The vivid descriptions of towns disappearing in fires, flooded roads, and communities devastated by storms make the crisis feel immediate and unavoidable. The poem’s stark language of "Thousand-year storms coming every day" emphasizes the sense of helplessness many feel in the face of overwhelming environmental changes.

There is a distinct sense of disillusionment throughout the piece. As the speaker reflects on how we once thought of climate change as a distant threat, it becomes clear that the world has already crossed a threshold—what we feared has now arrived. The line "No longer just a disaster movie" effectively captures the shift from apocalyptic fiction to grim reality.

The closing lines bring in a touch of existential uncertainty, pondering the fate of future generations. The image of survivors in underground bunkers or on the Moon and Mars captures the eerie uncertainty of what’s to come. Will humanity be able to solve these crises, or will we look back on our civilization from the ruins?

This poem resonates because it speaks to the collective uncertainty, fear, and frustration many feel today. It skillfully ties personal sentiment to global crises, making the reader feel the weight of the survival blues in a time of profound change.

One of the strengths of this piece is its ability to balance broad social commentary with individual reflection, making the emotional weight of the issues more personal and relatable. The rhythmic repetition of "I got them" builds both a sense of resignation and the shared experience of living in a world increasingly defined by crisis.

Overall, "End-of-the-world Survival Blues" is a poignant meditation on the end times, filled with raw emotion and critical insights about the direction our world is heading.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
19
19
Review of corn  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a short acrostic poem playing with the word "CORN." It has a playful and sensory-driven approach, focusing on the juiciness of corn while throwing in an unexpected phrase—“optical illusion”—that adds a bit of intrigue.

Strengths:
Sensory appeal: The word choice, particularly “juicy” and “rain its juiciness upon my mouth,” creates a vivid taste and texture experience.

Unexpected turn: “Optical illusion” stands out. It makes the reader pause and think—why is corn an illusion? This adds a layer of curiosity.

Concise and to the point: The brevity works in its favor, keeping the focus tight.

Areas for Improvement:
Clarify the illusion idea: If the goal is to say corn is surprisingly juicy or visually misleading in some way, adding a word or two for context might strengthen the impact.

Smoother flow: The last line, “Nothing to compare,” feels a little abrupt. Perhaps rewording it to “Nothing else compares” could make it feel more natural.

Overall, it’s a fun, quick piece that plays with imagery well! If you were going for a quirky, slightly mysterious tone, it works. If you want it to be clearer, a tiny tweak might help.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
20
20
Review of Consequences  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
ChatGPT said:
Your poem, "Consequences," captures the story of Jonah with a strong sense of rhythm and emotion. The rhyme scheme works well, giving the piece a flowing, almost chant-like quality that fits a biblical tale. Here are some thoughts on strengths and potential areas for improvement:

Strengths:
Strong Voice & Emotion – Jonah’s reluctance and frustration are clear, especially in the repeated refusals to go to Nineveh. The use of “No mercy!” and “Why mercy?” effectively conveys his inner turmoil.

Effective Rhyming – The rhyme is consistent without feeling forced. The variation in line lengths keeps it engaging.

Pacing & Storytelling – The narrative moves smoothly, from Jonah’s rebellion to his punishment and eventual obedience. The progression feels natural and well-structured.

Biblical Tone – The phrasing mimics the gravity of a biblical passage, which fits the contest theme well.

Suggestions for Improvement:
Tighten Some Phrasing – Some lines could be slightly refined for better readability. For example:

“Jonah sailed aboard a ship. Soon they were in a storm’s fierce grip.”
→ Could be stronger as: “Jonah sailed a ship at sea, but a storm raged violently.”

Clarify "Know Mercy" Ending – The final line, "Know mercy!" is powerful, but it feels slightly abrupt. Maybe tie it back to Jonah’s realization or transformation.

More Sensory Details – You describe Jonah’s time inside the fish well, but adding more about the storm or Nineveh’s wickedness could enhance the imagery.

Overall Rating: 9/10
This is a compelling and well-crafted entry that stays true to the biblical story while adding a personal poetic touch. A few small refinements could make it even stronger. Great job!

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
21
21
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece is reflective and philosophical, exploring the idea that time is at the core of everything—our emotions, memories, and even negative aspects like lies and distrust. I appreciate the way you circle back to time, reinforcing its significance in shaping our experiences.

There’s a poetic quality in your repetition of “time, time, time,” which gives it a rhythmic flow. I also like how you emphasize memories as markers in our minds, highlighting how they’re intertwined with time itself.

However, there are some areas where clarity could be improved. For example, the sentence "Perhaps one of them is a good way that later becomes emotional." feels a bit vague. Are you saying that one of these concepts (lying, ignorance, time, distrust) starts off as neutral or positive but later takes on emotional weight? If so, rewording it for precision could strengthen your argument.

You could also expand on "The verses of time will be something that will never be forgotten, since it can be said that it is what life does."—this is a compelling idea, but “what life does” could be more concrete. Perhaps something like “Time writes the story of our lives, never ceasing, never forgotten.”

Overall, this is an interesting reflection on time’s power. With a little tightening of wording and structure, it could be even more impactful.


WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
22
22
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your article beautifully captures the emotional and physical toll of being a cancer caregiver while also offering valuable advice. Here are a few improvements that could enhance clarity and readability:

Grammar & Clarity:

"Caregivers play an indispensable rule" → should be "role."

"Only a caregiver understands how difficult it is to watch a loved one suffer" → This phrase is slightly repetitive. You could say, "Only a caregiver truly understands the pain of witnessing a loved one's suffering."

Flow & Readability:

Some sections could be broken into smaller paragraphs for better readability.

Consider restructuring sentences like "Running around the hospital day after day, staying up all night, managing medication and meals --all of this leaves very little opportunity for rest." → "Day after day, caregivers run between hospital visits, stay up through the night, and manage medications and meals—leaving little time for rest."

Consistency:

The spacing between words is inconsistent in some areas (e.g., "the love of caregivers that keeps the cancer patients going" → should be "cancer patients").

"Silent heroes -selflessly sacrificing" → should be "silent heroes—selflessly sacrificing."

Emotional Impact:

Your conclusion is strong, but you might consider a final, uplifting sentence to reinforce the caregiver’s value. Something like:
"Remember, you are making a difference in ways that words cannot always express."


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
23
23
Review of Reviewing ideas  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
ChatGPT said:
This is a well-organized guide for writing reviews, especially for creative works. It encourages both positivity and constructive feedback while providing a structured way to approach reviews.

Strengths:
Clear and Encouraging Tone – The guide emphasizes honesty, encouragement, and support for writers, which is crucial for fostering creativity.

Structured Approach – The template makes it easy to break down a review into key sections: overall thoughts, favorite parts, and suggestions.

Flexibility – It allows for customization, such as adding colors, images, and centering text.

Helpful Prompts – The guide provides excellent questions to help reviewers think deeply about what they’re reading and how to offer useful feedback.

Empathy for Writers – The note about avoiding rudeness and ensuring suggestions are constructive is a great reminder for reviewers.

Areas for Improvement:
The formatting could be slightly cleaner to improve readability. For example, the guide uses instead of standard bold formatting, which might not work everywhere.

The use of
and ** Image ID #1389515 Unavailable ** suggests this might be designed for a specific platform. A brief note clarifying that would help users unfamiliar with the formatting.

It could include an example of a completed review using the template to give a clearer picture of how everything comes together.

Overall, this guide is very useful for anyone looking to provide thoughtful and helpful reviews, especially in creative writing communities.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
24
24
Review of Unfinished  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem has a strong sense of tension and unease, playing with themes of uncertainty and the unresolved. The rhythm and structure are fragmented, reflecting the disorientation and abruptness conveyed in the words. The clever use of language, such as "cliff / hanger, hangman," sets up an ominous tone, drawing the reader into a state of suspense and anticipation.

The imagery is vivid, with phrases like "cut short, unraveling" and "meet me where the ground bends," suggesting instability and a sense of impending change. There’s a surreal quality to it, especially in lines like "make friends with thin air" and "cards folding," where the boundaries between reality and metaphor blur.

The emotional undercurrent is one of longing and frustration, with the speaker grappling with the idea of missing something—perhaps meaning, connection, or resolution. The ending feels deliberately unfinished, emphasizing the theme of something lost or unspoken. "Thirteen past lives, pending" hints at unresolved pasts and the passage of time, while "This poem will remain" leaves the reader with a sense of permanence in the face of uncertainty.

Overall, the poem effectively creates a mood of tension and mystery while exploring themes of impermanence, loss, and the search for meaning in an unpredictable world.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
25
25
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece is a heartfelt reflection on the complex nature of time, love, and loss. It effectively conveys the emotional journey of longing, waiting, and the desire for connection. The writing explores time both as a concept and a personal experience, creating a sense of depth and universality.

Strengths:
Emotional Impact: The piece captures the emotional struggle of dealing with absence and yearning for a loved one. The contrast between time as a healer and time as a source of pain is well executed.

Structure and Flow: The short, almost fragmented sentences mimic the disjointed feeling of longing and the emotional turmoil of waiting for someone. This structure contributes to the emotional intensity of the piece.

Theme Exploration: The metaphor of time is used effectively, portraying it as both a beautiful and painful force. The writer seems to grapple with how time both brings healing and exacerbates pain, making the piece relatable to anyone who has experienced separation or loss.

Suggestions for Improvement:
Clarity in Progression: There’s a slight sense of repetition with the longing for time to pass quickly and for the return of the loved one. Perhaps varying the phrasing a bit more could add a stronger sense of emotional depth and avoid feeling too repetitive.

Pacing: The piece feels like it builds towards a climax of emotional release, but it could benefit from a few more subtle shifts in tone. Perhaps introducing moments of hope or contrast within the longing could make the overall message more dynamic.

Closing Line: The ending feels powerful, but it could be slightly refined for impact. A more succinct or unique phrasing might leave a stronger impression on the reader.

Overall, this piece beautifully captures the emotional complexity of waiting for someone and the bittersweet nature of time. It's a compelling and introspective read.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
737 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 30 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rick12221