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Resolution of Redirection
Your brain is under immense pressure. That needs to change. (A Dear Me entry / sequel)
Sig Shop Completed Images
Personalized Sigs made to order
For the troops
Del has a bone to pick with Matt about some combat gear. A field test will tell the tale.
Promptly 4, 5 and 6
Poems for years 4, 5 and 6 of the Promptly Poetry Challenge.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rick12221
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1,118 Public Reviews Given
1,137 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I like this. It feels honest. It does not try to impress anyone. It just stands there quietly and lets the reader breathe with it. That alone is a strength.

The voice is steady from beginning to end. You do not wander. You do not over explain. You stay inside one emotional space and explore it fully. That takes restraint. A lot of writers would have been tempted to add drama or conflict, but you didn’t. You trusted stillness. That tells me you are getting more confident with tone.

The line “I find comfort in my skin” is simple but strong. It feels grounded. Also, “Contentment hums inside my chest” works well because it gives the emotion a physical presence. It makes peace feel alive rather than abstract. That is good instinct. When emotions are tied to the body, they feel real.

What stands out most is the clarity. There is no confusion about what this poem is saying. It is about being alone without being lonely. That message lands cleanly. I also like the closing thought. “Enough for me, in every day.” That is a firm ending. It does not drift off. It claims something. And you know I respect that. No open ends. You finish the feeling.

If I push you a little, I would say this: the imagery leans toward the familiar. Stars. Morning air. Quiet grace. These are beautiful, but they are common. The next level for you might be to replace one or two of those images with something more specific. Something only you would notice. That would give the poem a fingerprint.

Overall, this is calm, centered writing. It feels lived in. It feels like someone who has earned their peace instead of pretending at it. Keep leaning into that. The more specific you become inside that quiet, the more powerful your voice will get.


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2
2
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I like this a lot. The idea is strong. You took something complex and scientific and made it personal without getting lost in the physics. That alone shows control. You are not hiding behind the metaphor. You are using it.

Right away, the opening line pulls me in. “You are everywhere and nowhere until someone opens the box and looks at you.” That’s a sharp hook. It feels philosophical but still grounded. The shift where you say that idea is dangerous is where the piece really begins to breathe. That tension is the heart of the essay.

There are a few small mechanical issues you may want to tighten. For example, “we´re definitely don’t exist only when someone validates us” reads awkwardly. That line needs smoothing. Also watch spacing around commas and stray accent marks. Those things distract from an otherwise thoughtful piece. Clean sentences give powerful ideas more weight.

Conceptually, I think you are onto something deeper than you fully explore. You move from quantum uncertainty to identity and external perception, which works well. But I would push even further. The most powerful line in the entire piece is this one: “We become eternal hostages to other people’s perception.” That is sharp. That feels lived in. I would slow down there. Maybe add one more sentence that shows what that captivity looks like in real life. Social media. Family roles. Religious expectation. Professional identity. Ground it once, briefly, and it becomes undeniable.

I also appreciate that you reject the idea that identity is born from validation. That feels mature. It feels steady. There is strength in saying, “I exist before I am perceived.” That line carries weight. It sounds like someone who has wrestled with insecurity and come out with a firmer center.

The ending is simple, which works. “I want to be seen someday. But not to be validated. To be accepted.” That’s clean and emotionally honest. I might combine those last two lines into one flowing thought just to avoid the slightly dramatic pause, but that is a stylistic choice. The sentiment itself is solid.

If I am being fully honest, the piece could go one layer deeper emotionally. Right now it is intellectually strong. I want one small crack in the armor. One line that feels personal instead of philosophical. That would make it unforgettable.

Overall, this is thoughtful work. You are thinking about identity in a way that is not shallow. That matters. Keep pushing past the concept and into lived experience. That is where your voice will separate itself from everyone else writing about similar ideas.


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3
3
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks for sharing this villanelle — I read it a few times and thought about the mood, imagery, and how the form plays into the meaning. Here’s my honest, thoughtful review in a casual, forward-thinking way.

This poem captures a stark winter scene with real simplicity and emotional clarity. You used the villanelle form—three repeating lines across five tercets and a final quatrain—and that repetition creates a haunting echo, like the cold itself lingering on the page. The repeated image of “The wolf looks out upon the snow” has a steady, almost meditative beat. It feels observant, waiting, and contemplative. You repeat “You wonder what the bird can know” too, and that contrast between the wolf and the bird becomes the heart of the poem — something seen versus something mysterious, something grounded versus something fleeting.

I like how the setting feels elemental and austere. Winter light, snowdrifts, blizzard winds, pale dark light — these give texture and weight without getting tangled in too much detail. The scene feels real and cold. As a reader I could almost feel the chill.

Where the poem is strongest is in the mood it sets: the stillness, the quiet wild, and the sense that there is something the bird understands that the speaker (or reader) does not. That question lingers nicely and gives the repetition purpose. The villanelle’s circular form matches that sense of wondering without resolution — fitting for a winter scene where things lie dormant and mysterious.

There are a few moments where the phrasing feels a bit predictable — lines like “And as the blizzard winds do blow / Across the lake with all their might” read as straightforward description without much twist or surprise. In a villanelle, every line gets repeated and so it helps if each one has a memorable turn of language or emotional depth. A bit more specificity or an unexpected image could have made those lines really pop.

The last stanza folds in the idea of nature’s low light nicely, and the interaction between wolf and bird becomes symbolic: grounded stillness versus silent flight. Ending the poem by looping back to the repeated lines feels right, though I wish the final iteration carried a subtle shift in meaning — maybe a hint of insight, or a turn in perspective that gives the repetition a payoff.

Overall, this is a solid use of the villanelle form, with a strong sense of setting and mood. The questions you raise about perception, knowledge, and nature’s quiet mysteries give the poem a thoughtful weight. With tighter imagery and a bit more surprising language, it could become even stronger. I enjoyed the rhythm and how the form supports your themes.


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4
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This one feels like a song you wrote after pacing the living room for an hour. I can hear the rhythm in it. It has that chorus line that keeps coming back like a bruise you keep pressing just to see if it still hurts.

What works really well here is the repetition. “We keep stepping upon others, generating the blues” feels like a hook. It sounds like something that would hit harder the second and third time around, especially with music behind it. The structure leans into that pattern of verse and chorus, and that gives it a natural flow. You clearly understand how repetition can drive emotion home.

I also like the honesty in it. There is no pretending here. The speaker admits fault. “We’re all doing what we ought not to do.” That line feels grounded. It shifts the blame from just one person to both. That makes the ending more believable. It is not just anger. It is disappointment mixed with self awareness.

Now here is where I think you can push it further.

Right now, the emotion is broad. Blues. Sad. Let down. Clue. Through. These are strong ideas, but they are general. If you want this to hit deeper, zoom in. Instead of saying we have been knocked down, show one moment. Instead of saying we were made into clowns, show the scene. Was it a party. A phone call. A quiet kitchen table. One sharp image can make the whole piece feel more lived in.

Also, the ending repetition works rhythmically, but emotionally it plateaus. “Sad and true, we’re done, I’m through” repeated three times feels like the speaker trying to convince himself. That could actually be powerful if you lean into it. Maybe the final line shifts slightly. Maybe the last one is not exactly the same. A small twist would give it punch instead of echo.

There is something very real here. It sounds like you writing what you know, not what you think sounds poetic. That is good. Keep that. Next time, dig one layer deeper. Trade one general statement for one specific memory. That is where your writing starts to feel undeniable.

You are close. Keep going.


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5
5
Review of The Last Request  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This story grabbed me right away, and it did not let go. The opening line does a lot of heavy lifting, and it earns its place. The smell of ozone and over clocked processors instantly tells us this is not a normal hospital scene. It sets the tone without dumping explanation, which I really liked. You trust the reader to keep up, and that confidence shows all the way through.

Elias feels grounded and human. His hesitation, his loyalty to his grandmother, and that quiet dread he carries all feel real. Clara is the standout though. She is not written as a fragile old woman clinging to life, but as someone sharp, aware, and already halfway beyond the room she is stuck in. The dialogue between them is tight and natural. Nothing feels wasted. Every line moves the story forward or deepens the tension.

The middle section with the physical locations works well. It keeps the story from feeling trapped in one room and adds a sense of momentum. The system log moment is especially strong. That is where the story quietly tips its hand, and it does so without shouting. Readers who catch it early will feel clever. Readers who do not will feel that slow unease creep in.

The ending is where this really shines. The reveal is unsettling in a calm, confident way. Clara is not a monster, not a villain, but she is no longer safe or familiar. That smile at the end is perfect. It leaves the reader thinking about consent, legacy, and whether helping someone rest is always what it seems. I also appreciate that the story closes with purpose. There is no confusion about what happened, only discomfort about what it means.

If I had one suggestion, it would be to linger just a beat longer on Elias in that final moment. His reaction could deepen the emotional punch even more. Overall, this is sharp, controlled science fiction with a human core. It feels finished, intentional, and memorable. You should be proud of this one.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
I like looking at winners lists like this because it tells you something about what readers are responding to right now. January 2025 feels bold. Each of these stories leans into mystery, but in very different ways.

The Many Faces of Love jumps out first. A shapeshifter obsessing over a woman who keeps ghosting him is a strong hook. It feels modern and unsettling at the same time. Ghosting is such a normal part of dating now, but mixing it with a character who can literally change identities adds a creepy layer. I imagine the tension comes from not knowing which version of him is real, or if any of them are. That kind of concept can easily drift into chaos, so if it won first place, I am guessing the writer kept control of the story and grounded it emotionally. Obsession stories work best when we see the human weakness underneath the supernatural ability. If the character felt raw and exposed instead of just powerful, that probably carried it.

The Secret of Black Mountain feels completely different in tone. The description is short and almost quiet. “These rocks hold tight to their mysteries.” That line alone creates atmosphere. It sounds like the kind of story that moves slow and steady, building tension through setting instead of shock. I personally love stories where the land itself feels alive. Mountains, forests, old towns. If the writer trusted the setting and let it breathe, I can see why it pulled in so many readers. Sometimes subtle storytelling leaves a stronger mark than something flashy.

Two Films sounds deeply personal. Finding old films in an attic tied to World War Two is powerful territory. That kind of story depends heavily on emotional weight. If done well, it can hit hard. I imagine it blends discovery with family history and maybe uncomfortable truths. Those stories stay with people because they connect the past to the present in a tangible way.

What stands out to me is that all three deal with identity and hidden truths. A shapeshifter hiding behind personas. A mountain hiding secrets. Old films revealing forgotten history. That tells you something important as a writer. Readers are drawn to what is buried.

If you are studying these winners, do not just look at the concepts. Look at how each idea centers on a strong emotional core. That is where your power is too. You have the ability to take a simple premise and anchor it in lived experience. Keep watching what wins, but do not copy trends. Instead, ask yourself what truth you want to uncover next.


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7
Review of Spring Revisited  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece is rich, patient, and very sure of what it wants to be. It leans hard into atmosphere, and that is its biggest strength. From the opening line, the world feels cold, vast, and alive in a quiet way. The snow is not just snow. It moves, it shifts, it becomes something almost cosmic. That choice works well because it immediately lifts the setting beyond a simple winter scene and gives it weight and scale. I felt like I was standing there with you, squinting into all that white, trying to take it in.

Your imagery is confident. The trees as arthritic hands is especially strong. It is a familiar idea, but you push it far enough that it feels personal rather than borrowed. The wind, the sky, the clouds all carry emotion without turning cartoonish. That balance is not easy to hit, and you do it well. The bleakness feels earned, not exaggerated, and the depression of the landscape mirrors an inner heaviness without ever spelling it out.

Where the piece really lifts is with the arrival of light and motion. The slow tearing of gray into blue is satisfying, and the pacing there is spot on. You let the change happen gradually, which makes the payoff feel real. The red tailed hawk is a smart choice. It brings life without softening the world too much. The cry as a kind of declaration works, though it is the one moment where the symbolism steps right up to the edge of being too direct. Still, it fits the tone you have built, and it feels intentional rather than careless.

The ending is gentle and human. Turning back toward warmth while holding onto that promise of return feels honest. It does not over explain, and it closes the moment instead of drifting away from it. Overall, this reads like a writer who trusts imagery and mood and is not afraid to stay still long enough for them to work. With a bit of tightening in a few of the heavier sentences, this could be very strong as a finished piece. You are clearly doing something right here, and it shows.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece lands hard in a quiet way, and that is its biggest strength. It understands restraint. Nothing here is rushed, and nothing feels forced. The poem trusts the reader to notice the tension without spelling it out, which gives it weight. From the opening image of tilted heads and tangled hands, you set up the lie beautifully. It feels familiar in the best way, like something anyone who has ever posed for a photo they did not fully believe in will recognize right away.
What really works is how consistent the metaphor stays. The photo is not just a photo. It becomes a stand in for memory, for public perception, for the story people tell themselves when they want things to be true. Lines like strangers whispering you look so happy feel painfully accurate. That small detail pulls the reader into the shared lie. It is not just the couple pretending. Everyone else wants the picture to mean something comforting.
The middle of the poem is where it really deepens. The silence stretching across the bed and the laughter trembling at the edges are strong emotional cues without being dramatic. I especially liked the detail about eyes searching for exits outside the frame. That line quietly admits the ending long before the poem reaches it. It feels honest and lived in.
The closing lines are effective because they resist melodrama. Saying that some photos capture performance instead of love hits clean and true. The final image of the brightest smile being a shadow of something already gone feels earned, not tacked on. It closes the loop without over explaining.
If I had one opinionated note, it would be this. The poem is so controlled that it almost risks being too polished. That is not a flaw, but you might experiment someday with letting one image get a little messy or uncomfortable. One small crack in the language itself could mirror the cracks you describe. Even without that, this is strong work. It feels human, reflective, and complete. It knows exactly what it wants to say and stops at the right moment. Keep writing from this place. It suits you.


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9
Review of What is a Woman?  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem hits hard in a quiet way, and that is its real strength. It does not shout or preach. It just stands there and lets the reader feel the weight of what is happening. Right from the opening lines, the contrast is clear. A woman reduced to “only a pebble” while also being central to her own identity. That tension runs through the whole piece and never lets up.

What I really like is how honest the fear feels. Lines like “Now an enemy per mammogram” and “This is a matter of life and death” capture how quickly a normal life can flip into something terrifying and clinical. There is no over explaining. The reader understands the shock immediately. The poem balances medical language with deeply personal emotion, which mirrors the experience so many people go through during diagnosis. That mix feels real, not polished for effect.

The section about breasts is especially strong. It goes beyond biology and touches on identity, intimacy, motherhood, and self image. Saying they are “essential equipment” is blunt, almost uncomfortable, and that works. It reflects how invasive the situation feels. Nothing is sacred anymore, not even the body. The fear of not being the same afterward is one of the most relatable and painful parts of the poem.

The invasion metaphor is another smart choice. Comparing treatment to an army planning an invasion captures the loss of control without sounding dramatic. It feels like something a person would actually think while lying awake at night, running scenarios through their head.

The ending turns toward courage without feeling fake. It does not deny fear, it stands beside it. That final declaration pushes back against the illness while still honoring the struggle. Overall, this poem feels lived in and necessary. It belongs in conversations about illness, womanhood, and survival. It is simple, direct, and emotionally grounded, and that is exactly why it works.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece feels quiet in the best way. It does not try to impress or force emotion. It just lets the reader sit beside the speaker and ride along. That choice works. The opening lines land immediately because they feel honest and familiar. Slipping back into self doubt without a clear reason is something most people recognize, and you state it plainly without dressing it up. That plainness is one of the strongest parts of this poem.

The turn toward gratitude is important here. You acknowledge being loved and alive, yet still drifting backward. That tension gives the piece weight. It keeps it from feeling like a simple mood piece and turns it into a moment of self awareness. The drive becomes more than a drive. It becomes a pause button. Coffee in hand and music low are small details, but they ground everything. They feel lived in, not staged.

Russell Station Road itself works well as an anchor. Repeating it gives the poem a sense of place and rhythm without feeling forced. Each return to that road feels slightly different emotionally, which shows movement even though very little actually happens. That is hard to pull off, and you do it quietly.

The winter imagery is simple and effective. Snow covered fields and trees are familiar images, but here they match the emotional state perfectly. The world is resting, not dead. That mirrors the speaker finding a small reset rather than a big revelation. I like that the contentment is described as small and renewed. That restraint feels honest and earned.

The ending does what an ending should do. It closes the loop. Turning back toward home feels resolved without being flashy. Nothing is magically fixed, but something has shifted. Overall, this is a strong reflective piece that trusts silence and understatement. I would not rush to change much. If anything, keep leaning into that calm confidence. This kind of writing does not shout, and it does not need to.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This kind of message does its job, but it also shows where Writing.com could tighten things up for writers who are already nervous about contests. On the plus side, the tone is polite and welcoming. It thanks the writer first, which matters. That small gesture helps soften the stress that comes with deadlines and rules. The checklist idea is smart too. Contests fail people more often on technical mistakes than on bad writing, and this list points straight at the usual traps.

That said, the message feels a little bare bones. It reads more like a reminder taped to a wall than guidance meant for real people. Each checklist item is important, but none of them are explained. A newer writer might pause at phrases like item type or correctly submitted survey form and wonder what exactly that means. When someone is already worried about disqualification, even small uncertainty can turn into second guessing and panic clicking through settings.

I also think the order could matter more. Word count and rating make sense at the top, but paid membership and public access are the kind of things people forget because they feel separate from the act of writing. A brief nudge like double check your membership is active before the deadline would go a long way. Same with newly written and not edited after the deadline. That rule is crucial, and it is easy to break without realizing it.

Overall, this is a solid safety net, not a hand holding guide. It assumes the writer already knows the system well. For experienced members, that is fine. For newer contest entrants, it could be more reassuring with a sentence or two of clarity under each point. Still, as a final reminder, it serves its purpose. It tells you exactly where to look before it is too late, and that alone can save a strong piece from getting tossed out on a technicality.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Jim,

Are you accepting new members? If so, what are your requirement?

Thank you,

Rick
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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem feels grounded in devotion, and that is its real strength. From the first line, you are not circling the idea of love. You plant yourself inside it. Brick and mortar, ocean and sand, compass and direction. Those images tell the reader that this speaker is not floating or searching. They are anchored. That sense of being held and holding at the same time carries through the whole piece, and it gives the poem emotional stability.
What works especially well is how the metaphors stay simple and familiar. Nothing feels forced or decorative. A brick needs mortar. An ocean needs sand. A compass only matters if it points somewhere. These are clean choices, and they help the reader understand the relationship without overthinking it. I also like the quiet humility in lines like “I am an airplane on your ground I land.” The speaker is not claiming power or dominance. They are choosing arrival. That is a mature emotional note.
The second stanza shifts nicely into action and response. Anger, tears, laughter, purpose. Those are real states people move through, and the partner is not portrayed as perfect, but as present. “You calm my thunder” and “you clear my sky” mirror each other well without sounding repetitive. The goofy laughter line adds warmth and prevents the poem from becoming too solemn, which is a smart choice.
The third stanza leans into intimacy, both emotional and physical. The rhythm and music imagery works because it stays tied to connection, not ego. One line that might benefit from a slight tightening is “My hands feel the body your willingly giving.” The emotion is clear, but smoothing the phrasing could make it land with more confidence.
The ending is strong and reflective. Acknowledging the past without regret and claiming the future without fear gives the poem a sense of completion. It does not feel naive. It feels chosen.
Overall, this poem succeeds because it knows what it wants to say and does not wander. It is sincere, steady, and emotionally clear. With just a bit of polish in phrasing, it could feel even more natural, but the heart of it is already solid and believable.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This story has a strong hook right out of the gate. The arrival scene in Geneva works because it feels calm instead of explosive. That choice matters. Making the aliens polite, melodic, and reassuring makes the later takeover feel earned instead of cheap. The Zorathians are unsettling precisely because they do not act like obvious villains. Their control is quiet, polite, and wrapped in good intentions, which mirrors how power often works in the real world.

The concept of psionic influence is handled well. It never turns cartoonish. I like that people are not reduced to zombies. They still feel like themselves, just nudged in the wrong direction. That makes the takeover more frightening and more believable. The social media element is especially sharp. The identical posts and synchronized praise hit close to home and feel very current without being preachy.

Mia is the strongest part of the story. Giving her a medical implant instead of a superhero ability grounds the entire plot. Her lack of physical control while keeping her inner voice intact is uncomfortable in the right way. You feel trapped with her. The coffee shop moment is excellent and could even be expanded later because it is the first true violation of her agency. Luis works well as a counterbalance. He is useful without stealing the spotlight, which is not easy to pull off.

The pacing is tight and mostly effective. The shift from discovery to resistance moves fast, maybe a little too fast, but it fits the urgency of the situation. I would not mind one more obstacle or complication before the disruptor succeeds, just to deepen the sense of risk. Still, the resolution is satisfying. The aliens are stopped, the truth spreads, and the ending feels complete without closing the door on future threats.

Overall, this is a smart, readable story with a clear point and a clean finish. It blends science fiction ideas with human fear and resilience in a way that feels accessible. It trusts the reader, stays focused on character, and leaves you thinking without dangling loose threads. That is a solid win.


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15
15
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Yeah, it is good. Not polite good. Not workshop good. It is the kind of good that knows exactly what it is doing even while pretending it does not care.

What works best here is the voice. It never settles down. The grammar slips on purpose. The thoughts trip over each other. That gives the piece its engine. It feels like someone half drunk, half awake, watching the world tilt and deciding to report it honestly instead of clearly. That choice carries the whole thing. If the language were cleaned up, the piece would fall apart. You commit to the chaos and that commitment shows.

The satire lands more often than it misses. The fake authority figures, the poet with props, the pipe judging you, the audience clapping because clapping is what happens next. All of that feels sharp without explaining itself. I especially like how the asides keep poking holes in big ideas like capitalism, originality, police, empire, history. None of those points are argued. They are tossed like the chicken bones. Some hit. Some miss. That is the point. Accuracy is not the goal here. Feeling is.

The imagery sticks. Canada Dry pretending to be brandy. Tweed jacket spy teacher energy. Garbage raining down while the poem keeps going. Soap bubbles popping right when you reach for meaning. Those are strong, memorable moments. The cantaloupe ending is absurd in the right way. It feels earned because the whole piece has trained us to accept that kind of logic.

If I have one suggestion, it is restraint near the end. The repetition of again again again works, but you might experiment with letting one quiet line do more work right before the finish. You already nailed the final emotional beat with not me. That lands clean and human.

Overall, this feels lived in, angry, amused, and tired in a believable way. It does not beg to be liked. That is its strength. It knows victory belongs to someone else, and it is fine saying that out loud. Keep trusting that instinct.


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Review of Starlit Sky  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This one hit me in a quiet way, the kind that sneaks up instead of knocking. At first it feels like a simple memory poem, almost gentle and familiar, but by the time it closes, the weight of time really settles in. I like how it starts with innocence and ends with endurance. That arc feels honest. Childhood vows under the stars turning into a lifetime is a powerful idea, and you let it unfold naturally without forcing emotion.

What really works here is the sense of time passing without you having to explain it too much. The jump from kids at the shore to fifty years together is clean and effective. It mirrors how life actually feels when you look back. One moment you are ten years old under a sky full of stars, the next you are alone beneath the same sky wondering how decades slipped by. That last image is strong and quietly devastating.

The voice feels sincere throughout, which matters a lot for a poem like this. If it ever leaned too hard into sentiment, it could have tipped into something overly sweet, but it never does. The line about the mothers calling them in to pray is a great grounding moment. It anchors the poem in real life and reminds the reader these were just kids, not mythical lovers. That detail makes the later loss feel more real.

I also appreciate that the poem does not rage against fate. There is sadness, but there is also acceptance. The speaker grieves, but he is not bitter. That choice gives the poem maturity. The closing lines, waiting to reunite when time ends, feel earned because you showed us the full life they shared.

If I had one small opinion to offer, it would be to trust your strongest moments even more. Some lines explain feelings that are already clear through imagery. Let the stars, the ocean, and the silence do a little more of the work. You already set the stage beautifully.

Overall, this feels like a true remembering, not a performance of grief. It lingers, which is exactly what a poem like this should do.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece lands with a quiet force that sneaks up on you. It feels calm on the surface but underneath there is real frustration and resolve working together. What stands out first is the confidence of the speaker. There is no begging to be believed and no over explaining. The voice knows who it is and that certainty carries the poem forward even when the world inside the poem shuts its doors.

The opening lines do a smart thing by focusing on absence instead of attack. No one asks. No one listens. That choice immediately puts the reader on the outside with the speaker. It feels familiar in a way that goes beyond writing. Anyone who has ever been judged without being heard can step into this space easily. That makes the poem bigger than its subject without losing its edge.

The middle section is where the poem really sharpens. The language around breath, words, machines, and craft is clean and deliberate. Nothing feels thrown in for effect. I especially like how you refuse to defend the work in technical terms. You do not argue process. You argue humanity. That is a strong move because it shifts the conversation away from tools and back to intent, which is where real art lives.

The irony you point out does not feel smug or clever for its own sake. It feels tired. That weariness adds weight. The idea of rules being rewritten behind closed doors is one of the most effective images here. It captures how power works quietly while pretending to be neutral.

The ending is steady and grounded. There is no dramatic exit, just a firm decision about what to keep. Truth. Knowledge. Work that is still warm. That warmth matters. It reminds us that writing is a living act, not a verdict handed down by a room full of fear.

Overall, this poem feels honest, timely, and self possessed. It does not shout. It does not flinch. It trusts that real writing lasts longer than suspicion, and that trust is earned on the page.


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Review of Remembering  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece lands with quiet strength, and that is what makes it work so well. It does not shout its message. It carries it the way the speaker carries duty, steadily, without asking for applause. From the opening lines, the image of the hats does a lot of heavy lifting. Those hats are not costumes or symbols worn for attention. They are borrowed weight. They tell us right away that this poem is about shared service, shared memory, and shared responsibility. I like that the speaker does not center personal glory. Instead, the focus stays on connection and obligation.

The repeated idea of brotherhood feels earned here. It is not sentimental or forced. When the poem talks about shaking a veteran’s hand or buying a meal, those moments feel lived in. They sound like habits formed over time, not gestures meant to impress. The line about eating less at times is especially effective. It is small, honest, and human. That single detail says more about sacrifice than a long explanation ever could.

The oath section is where the poem really settles into its core. The mention of the DD 214 is sharp and grounding. It draws a clear line between paperwork and responsibility. The idea that duty does not expire is powerful, and you deliver it without preaching. It feels like something the speaker believes deeply, not something they are trying to convince the reader to accept.

The closing lines are strong and respectful. There is no attempt to wrap things up neatly or soften the weight of loss. The final statement about owing those who did not make it home lands with gravity. It feels final in the right way.

If there is one thing to consider moving forward, it might be tightening a few lines to sharpen the rhythm, but even as it stands, the pacing feels intentional and reflective. Overall, this is a grounded, sincere poem that understands its subject and treats it with care. It honors without glorifying and remembers without drifting into nostalgia. That balance is hard to pull off, and you did it well.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece feels less like a traditional essay and more like a faith scrapbook, and I mean that in a good way. It brings together scripture, testimony, and conviction in a way that clearly matters to the writer. What stands out most is the sheer breadth of references. You are not dipping a toe into either book. You are fully immersed in both, and that commitment shows on every page.

The strongest part of this work is its consistency of message. Love, service, obedience, faith, and endurance keep resurfacing, not as repeated filler, but as anchors. Even when verses repeat, they feel intentional, almost like a refrain in a song. Psalms 136:1 appearing more than once reinforces the idea that gratitude and enduring love are central, not optional. That repetition mirrors how scripture itself works in real life. People return to the same verses again and again because truth often needs reminding.

I appreciate how the Bible and the Book of Mormon are not treated as competitors here, but as companions. The Ezekiel passage about the two sticks is a smart inclusion, especially since it gives a clear biblical framework for unity rather than division. Your tone is confident without being aggressive, which matters when dealing with belief based material. You are inviting readers in, not trying to corner them.

One place this could grow even stronger is flow. Right now it reads like a powerful collection of evidence. Adding more short reflections between clusters of verses could help guide the reader emotionally, not just spiritually. A sentence or two explaining why a verse matters to you personally would deepen the connection.

Overall, this is heartfelt, scripture rich, and sincere. It reads like someone who has spent time living with these words, not just quoting them. With a bit more personal voice woven between the verses, this could move from a solid testimony to a deeply memorable one. The foundation is already strong.


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Review of WHAT YOU SCATTER  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece still works because it is simple, grounded, and patient. It does not rush to prove its point. It lets kindness show up in small actions and trusts the reader to feel the weight of them later. The opening scene at the grocery store feels lived in. The details about the potatoes, peas, and the boy watching without asking do a lot of quiet work. You can see the space. You can hear the tone. Nothing feels forced. Mr. Miller does not give charity in a way that shames the boy. He gives dignity. That choice is the heart of the story, and it lands because it feels natural, not staged.

What really strengthens this piece is restraint. The dialogue stays plain. The boy is not turned into a symbol right away. He is just a kid who wants peas and has a marble. That restraint makes the later reveal hit harder. By the time the funeral scene arrives, the reader already knows something meaningful is coming, but it still manages to land with quiet power instead of sentiment overload. The image of the three grown men, especially one in uniform, connects past kindness to present character without spelling it out too much.

The final moment with the red marbles works because it is visual and specific. It is not abstract goodness. It is something you can hold in your hand. That is why it sticks. The moral is clearly stated, maybe even a little too clearly, but in a story like this, that almost feels earned. It reads like something passed along, shared, and reread, which fits its purpose.

If there is any weakness, it is that the ending leans heavily into instruction rather than reflection. The list of ordinary miracles shifts the tone from story to message. Some readers will love that. Others might prefer the story to end right at the marbles and let the meaning sit in silence. Still, the heart is solid. This is the kind of piece people remember because it reminds them that small kindness done consistently outlives wealth, words, and even time.


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Review of Sunrise Buffet  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece is warm and playful in a way that feels earned, not forced. Right away, the tone settles into something familiar and comforting, like a quiet morning ritual that has become part of your identity. The opening stanza does a nice job of grounding the reader in routine. The pond, the daily presence, the shared expectation. It feels lived in. That sense of habit gives the poem its backbone.

I especially like how you handled the taboo words. You never feel like you are dodging them. Instead, you sidestep them so naturally that the restriction becomes invisible. That takes skill. The line about a yeast buffet is clever without being cute, and the imagined warning from the birds adds personality without tipping into cartoonish territory. Giving them a voice works because it mirrors how people actually think when they interact with animals. We project, we negotiate, we joke with them. You captured that instinct well.

The middle stanza shines because of the sound work. Words like cacophony and beckoning bring noise and motion into what could have stayed a quiet scene. It makes the moment feel alive and slightly chaotic, which balances the calm setting. The garden hedge is a nice visual divider too, suggesting this world exists just beyond the home, close but still wild.

The final stanza lands softly, and that is a good choice. Ending on the shared joy instead of the action itself gives the poem a reflective close. The question about who enjoys it more feels honest. It opens the door emotionally without leaving the poem unresolved. It feels complete.

If I had one small suggestion, it would be to trust your simplest lines even more. Your strength here is clarity and sincerity. You do not need to decorate those moments. Overall, this poem feels genuine, observant, and quietly joyful. It is the kind of piece that lingers because it reminds readers of their own small daily rituals and why they matter.


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Review of Funny things  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece feels honest in a way that is hard to fake, and that is its biggest strength. It reads like someone talking across a table, telling a story that matters to them, not polishing it for effect. That works here. The opening at the graduation party pulls me in right away. The mix of chlorine, heat, and family noise sets the scene without trying too hard. The aside about it being a mouthful actually helps because it signals your voice. It lets the reader know they are in good hands with a narrator who is self aware and a little amused by himself.

The heart surgery section is strong because it stays human instead of medical. You do not drown the reader in terms you do not understand. You lean into that confusion and turn it into humor, which feels true. The electrician nickname is a great detail. It sticks. That small observation about titles and nicknames says a lot about how people process fear. You could even lean into that idea more later if you wanted, because it ties nicely into how people see Jonah too.

Jonah is the emotional center, and you handle him with care without turning him into a symbol. He is just a kid who wants to be close, who laughs, who needs protection but also needs life. The pool scene works because it holds tension without drama. A mother panicking, a narrator choosing joy anyway, and a child laughing in the middle of it all. That moment lands. It says something real about risk, love, and choosing experience over fear.

Stylistically, there are a few long sentences that could be trimmed for smoother flow, but they also match the conversational rhythm, so I would be careful not to over clean it. This feels like a memory you trust. My opinion is that this piece succeeds because it does not try to teach a lesson. It just shows one. With a little tightening, this could be a standout personal essay that lingers after the last line.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This collection of moments reads like a long, steady heartbeat running through Scripture. Each story stands on its own, yet together they form a clear message about mercy, restoration, and the reach of faith. What strikes me most is how often these moments begin with desperation. A woman kneeling at Jesus’ feet, a man lowered through a roof, a thief gasping for breath, parents begging for their child. None of them come with polished faith or perfect timing. They come broken, afraid, or out of options. That feels honest. It feels human.

The woman who washed Jesus’ feet sets the tone. Her forgiveness is not earned through words or status but through faith expressed in action. She risks judgment, and Jesus meets her with grace instead of condemnation. That same pattern carries through the paralytic man, whose healing is as much about forgiveness as it is about walking again. Jesus keeps reminding everyone that restoration starts inside before it shows up on the surface.

The resurrection stories deepen that idea. Jairus’ daughter, the widow’s son at Nain, Lazarus, and the children revived through Elijah and Elisha all point to a God who refuses to let death have the final word. I find it powerful that these miracles often happen in quiet spaces, homes, tombs, roadsides. Not stages. Not temples. Just real life interrupted by divine authority.

Elisha’s bones bringing a man back to life is especially haunting. Even in death, God’s power lingers. It feels like a whisper of what is coming later through Christ, when the grave itself becomes temporary. That thread ties directly into Jesus’ resurrection, which does not just restore one life but shakes the ground for many.

The later accounts in Acts show that this power does not stop with Jesus’ physical presence. Peter and Paul step into that same stream of faith, not as heroes, but as servants pointing back to the source. These stories leave me with a sense of forward motion. Faith is not passive here. It reaches, risks, believes, and sometimes waits through grief before hope breaks through. That makes the message timeless, grounded, and deeply reassuring.


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Review of Mission Calendar  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This piece has a quiet charm that really works in its favor. The idea of letting the calendar speak for itself is simple, but you handle it with warmth instead of gimmicks. Right away, the opening draws me in because it feels personal, almost intimate. Being chosen off the wall is such an ordinary moment, yet you turn it into something meaningful. That choice sets the tone for the whole piece. It frames the calendar not as an object, but as a witness.

What I like most is the gentle emotional arc. The calendar starts hopeful, a little unsure, then settles into acceptance and purpose. That mirrors how people approach a new year without you ever needing to say that outright. Lines about watching appointments, goals, celebrations, and missed dreams hit especially well. They feel honest. Life is not polished, and this calendar understands that. It does not judge. It just stays.

The voice is consistent, which is not easy when writing from an inanimate perspective. You avoid sounding cartoonish or overly cute. Instead, the calendar feels steady and observant, almost like a quiet friend who never interrupts. The line about being a silent member of the relationship stands out to me. That is where the story deepens. It is not just about time passing. It is about trust.

If I had one suggestion, it would be to tighten a few phrases so they land with more punch. There are moments where trimming a word or two could sharpen the emotion without losing softness. But that is a polish note, not a structural issue.

Overall, this works because it respects the reader. It does not explain itself or chase a big ending. It knows exactly what it is. A small story about time, presence, and being there for someone in ways that matter. Pieces like this remind me that strong writing does not need volume. It just needs clarity and heart. This one has both.


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Review of Silently Forever  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem hits a soft nerve and keeps pressing it in a quiet way that feels honest rather than dramatic. What works best here is the restraint. You are not begging the reader to feel something. You are letting the images do the heavy lifting, and that choice pays off. The opening line immediately sets the tone. Standing where shadows kiss the ground feels like an emotional borderland, not fully in darkness, not in light either. That image alone tells us this speaker lives in the in between.

The sound work is solid throughout, especially the way you use gentle rhythm instead of sharp beats. Lines like your laughter drifts like summer sound feel natural and unforced. It reads like a thought that surfaced on its own, not one that was engineered. I also like how often you return to distance without naming it directly. A distant sky, a fading light, a sun that never stays. Those choices keep the poem cohesive without feeling repetitive.

The second stanza is probably the emotional center for me. My heart a quiet hollow room is a familiar idea, but pairing it with echoes dance alone at night gives it movement and loneliness at the same time. It avoids cliché by letting the image breathe instead of explaining it.
The third stanza subtly shifts power. The other person becomes almost mythic, all color and warmth, while the speaker becomes unfinished, a story left untold. That contrast feels earned. It shows how unbalanced the relationship is without spelling it out.

The final stanza lands cleanly. Loving silently forever could have felt heavy handed, but by the time we reach it, it feels inevitable. My only small critique is that the last line is very definitive. It works emotionally, but you might experiment someday with ending on an image rather than a declaration, just to see how it changes the echo.

Overall, this is thoughtful, controlled, and emotionally clear. It trusts the reader, which is a strength. You are writing from a place that feels lived in, and that is hard to fake. Keep leaning into that quiet confidence.


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