Debsy, what I like about this poem is that it focuses on the control of the addiction, personifying it into something you can physically fight and shove and face. It doesn't focus on a specific addiction, but the addictions are the same when it comes to the struggle of deciding to overcome it.
Redtowrite, this poem is full of sad emotion and I feel it's very "worse case scenario", but that can happen to souls lost in the system. The sequence and connection from stanza to stanza is easy to follow. There is mild slang that is easy to follow, but the language might be too formal for this character who lacks a strong educational background. Nice work.
Kathie, I liked this poem of the distractions and blocks in our writing. The appreciations for someone else's art is a nice touch too. Beautiful poem with a lot of description and detail with vivid words. "Festival of metaphors" is one of my favorites. Nice piece.
caussara, your haiku is wonderful. I'm glad you ended with spring because the last line "we celebrate life" brings everything full circle. The comparison of the wind to a hacksaw was so good that I could hear it "cut" into the next line. Great job.
AliciaWithAY, I've always found Turkey to be beautiful and romantic so I was drawn to your poem. My favorite lines came from the last half of the poem because the descriptions were very detailed and rich whereas the first half seemed pale in comparison. What color silk or what pattern would he buy? Which oil would he buy and what is it about the scent that would make him do that? In the end I was confused by the relationship of the couple. Is he a dream or does he have another committment with someone else? Just a few thoughts.
Sylvia, I loved this poem. It is playful for a child and would be good for an oral reading in a classroom. Readers can also empathize with the spider trying to hold on in harsh conditions or the speaker wanting to help someone who is struggling. Nice job.
Fiction Diva, your haiku "Hero's Farewell" is very moving. The description of the setting and the tone in this brief poem is well defined. Many readers may be able to relate and be touched by these words. Terrific job on a respectable effort of a sad topic.
Cavenagh, I loved the imagery and detail you have put into this short story. The storm has such life because of your words. The emotions and troubles in the characters' descriptions are vivid. There were at least 5 typos that distracted me in my read. In the end, I understand that you typed using the man's dialect. My greatest frustration is that I don't feel like the story is complete. The man fulfilled his duty by enduring the storm to get to the woman, but it's not clear to me why.
Tallulah, your message is very strong here with great comparisons like the simile "like a crack/across glass". You have captured the emotion and the reality of friendships that move on one-sided. In the first stanza, I'm not sure why DARK, DAWN and LIGHT are capitalized, but I'm sure you have a reason. Nice work.
Ghost, this is a fun twist of a sequel to Alvin and the Chipmunks. It was fun to read, and I hated that I cracked a grin reading about the demise of the band. Your ideas are clever and the flashbacks were well utilized. I hope you enjoyed writing it too.
ShiShad, you captured the attitude of the girl in the photo so well. She walks a little taller and prouder with the maturity she gained from her wayward experiences. The highway is important here both physically and metaphorically. Thanks for a good read.
sammie, I love poetry about dance, especially when the poet chooses the words to describe the actions in motion rather than give the play by play of movement. I wanted to see more even though you state in the end "Gradually / I can dance". Nice work.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rhoron
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.11 seconds at 2:44pm on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX2.