Cool concept, love the choices of characters yourself and those who have joined in have used, maybe i'll join in wghen i have some more free time i love pokemon and was writing fan fic before moving onto my own works. looking forward to reading what happens next
This is such a deep yet beautiful poem, simple easy to read layout works really well. This reminds me off when i used to go visit my great nan everytime we visited during my childhood she would have cheese and crackers ready with a jar of vegimite just for me, thank you for reminding me of a lovely childhood memory
"Dream up dreams and ruin them by wakeing and loosing them to a reality where dented shins match a dented " this is my favorite line in this poem because i think its something i relate to quite well, as i do with most of the poem this line was a stand out for me absolutly sensationly written.
"Shrill at the fact, take a pill and relax." If only it was that easy in reality, another line i really enjoyed
"Love, hate a constant debate.
Shoot straight and savour the taste.
Live fast, die slow. " Love it, not sure that i like the last line following this as much as it works i think i enjoyed the last four lines prior to it so much it was a bit of a let down but overall i enjoyed the poem and felt it was well presented and laid out.
The beginning makes me think "Oh god here we go again," as i am the master of missing trains by a cats whisker, however it left me wanting to keep reading.
Paranoia - really like how you used it in this piece, used to your advantage lured me in to wanting to keep on reading.
Absolutly loved the ending and the twist wasn't something i was ready for thank you for giving me a unpredictable piece to read, really enjoyed it
Great description, layout and punctuation used throughout.
Great poem, the description that you give is good it made me choose to read the poem and im happy that i did. I can relate to a lot of it sometimes i feel like my life is a half full coke bottle of ruin, just waiting for the end to come. I really liked the coke glass reference, i think that it worked perfectly for ending the poem and was my favorite part of the poem
Really enjoyed this short piece of writing, are you thinking of expanding on it beyond the contest? Good quality piece, keeps me interested right throughout, layout is great and works well, bits of it sends chills down my spine and is a delight to read. Mind bending and puzzling!
The title is what took me into wanting to read this piece, and the story was based on the title what i expected. The sleep deprivation the man suffers is a great realistic impact such a mysterious sound has on people in real life. I found most of the story to be quite realistic because of the way you set it out and how you chose to tell it. Keep up the good work.
Not your average predictable type of fairytale, realy enjoyed your choice of characters and how the troll had a lab as a pet not a mythical creature the real characters and fantasy characters worked really well together. Great piece of writing, keep up the great work
I suffer from it and take medication etc ive lost many friends from being mentally ill because they don't understand the depression side of my illness, and that when i say im not well enough to go out they think i just don't feel like going out. My parents think my entire illness is a lie and all just in my head. One of my friends parents recently found out about my illness when after they commented about how much weight i had put on i said its from medication and went into minor details the result they told there 25yr old daughter to stay away from me.
Is it real life related? I suffer from hearing voices quite frequently and really enjoyed the way you have written this and described the voices as being left and right, was a very clever way to show how they oppose eachother. It flows very well and kept me interested all the way through
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