Good story idea, thought provoking. It was a pleasure to read. I enjoyed discovering where the story went.
In order for this to be publishable, you need to check your spelling. Later only has one T. The story could pull at the heart strings even more if you put more emphasis on the emotions. You could combine a couple of sentences to obtain the correct word count without compromising the story.
Good concept, good imagery, creative. I enjoyed reading this poem. My suggestions for improvement: punctuate and capitalize. Punctuation helps the reader to follow the author's thoughts. Capitalization can help to add emphasis where it is desired.
Good story, held my attention. I enjoyed reading "working at home" from a father's perspective. My suggestions for improvement are to use a wider variety of punctuation and to use more descriptive words that would involve more of the reader's senses. This would add more depth.
I enjoyed reading this story. It is very entertaining and imaginative. You have touched on several good topics. Infertility, desertion, death, adoption, just to mention a few. It encourages the reader to think about the choices that we make and why we make those choices.
The only constructive criticism that I will offer is that so many topics are introduced without developing any of them.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.20 seconds at 4:17am on Oct 10, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
