What I liked: I liked this how you compare love to a roller coaster in this sentence: Our love is like a roller coaster, too tempting NOT to ride. (but I think it would look better if you make NOT in italics).
Grammar Mistakes: On line 10 when you wrote "... you do to." To should be too.
Also in your first sentence: Us in this dream,it's too unbelievable to wake. There needs to be a space after the comma.
Overall, very nicely written and a cute love poem .
Keep Writing!
~ForgetMeNot~
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