Your poem speaks of cycles and unison. Everything in life seems to be in a cycle and your poem expresses this beautifully. We only have to look and see the beauty of the universe. He never should be taciturn or reticent. He must always keep the lines of communication open. In the end the mentor also benefits.
The poet has expressed several emotions in this poem. It expresses love and lust and bitterness. It sounds like all these emotions are tangled together. In the end the poet concludes that this isn't love.
"Are his lieng eyes. No, his" doesn't make sense. Maybe it should say "Are his lying eyes. No, his."
The images in your poem are as bright as the sun. Each haiku poem expresses her beauty such as "Bright and beautiful ike the sun" or "Her ever warm glow brightens." Each line expresses her warmth, brightness, and beauty. Your managed to express yourself well in just a few words.
Your speak of being in a box - cold and alone. I'm a little puzzled on why this person is in the box. Why is everyone elses words heard by his words. Maybe he should be more aggressive. Maybe he feels his words aren't important enough to be heard. Everyone has the right to be heard. This person should insist on that right.
I like Haiku because it can say so much in a few words. Your poem is no exception. I can see the ancient tree covered with moss and probably rotten inside. When the storm hit, the tree is too brittle to resists the wind. In the end it provides firewood to keep us warm from future storms.
I liked the rhyme and rhythm of your poem. The garden sounds like a beauty place both in spirit and physically. You must have had a lot of fun laughing and singing with your mother. It nice to have a place where you feel safe, loved and free. Your mother instilled you with a strong spirit.
A star can represent many things. It can represent an inpossible goal as your story seems to say. It is something to keep us reaching for the impossible. When we journey to strange places and need a way home, the start will guide us. This seems to be a story of hope and courage. Everyone should have a star so that we always have something to strive for.
Your poem is adorable. I like the rhythm of it. It has a nice flow. I have to agree; as a child gets older it stretches the umbilical cord. Soon we have to childproof larger and larger areas as the child explores larger areas. A child playing is a wonder to watch.
This poem is about an oak tree but it could be about anything that fights a long hard battle and finally loses. The tree lives through many summers and winters. It gives comfort in the summer from the sun. Finally it is defeated by the storm but even in its death it still shimmers like a diamond from the coating of ice and snow.
You seem to be saying that our dreams seem to die. The knight who slays the demon or the wandering minstrel are all gone. Our dreams are but the mist that quickly disappears when the sun rises. "Yet the shining sun slays the notorious night" is the way you describe it.
The rhyme and rhythm of you poem is good. It is pleasant to read because it flows nicely. "Peacefulness whispers in the breeze" evokes a sense of calmness. Your poem goes on to say we ignore the beauty around us and focus on money. We should make it our creed to live life to its fullest. We should enjoy our lives.
I feel the flowers in this poem symbolize death. They symbolize the death of love. Maybe the love died from neglect. Just as the flowers were left in the vase to die so when love is left alone it too dies. Love needs to be nurtured. Just because something dies doesn't mean it isn't beautiful. We just need to enjoy it while it's alive.
I like the flow of the poem. When you walk down a strange road there is an excitement about where the road will go. I think life is a road. We don't know where we are going until we get there. You seem to know where you're going. You want to find someone. All you can do is keep walking until you find the person.
The flow of the poem is good. I like the rhythm and rhyme in the poem. The images of the forest and the white stallion are beautiful. I can easily see the stallion in the "sparkling stream" cleaning himself. I can hear the birds sing. Your poem speaks of nature and freedom.
I think the old man is telling the traveler that his bridge of dreams never ends. Even when he is far from the bridge he is still following it. A bridge of dreams is not a physical place but it's a spiritual place.
The person in the poem asks what's wrong with him when he should be asking what is right. We always get the answer to the question we ask. He's angry and hurt so all he focuses on is the pain, which consumes him like acid. He feels something is wrong with him so he finds things wrong like his appearance and his skin. He states he doesn't have to run away or hide but living inside you mind is running away and hiding. This poem describes an unhappy person very well.
The ship represents a journey. For some reason you want the journey to end. But it won't end until you get to your destination. Maybe you destination is happines or knowledge. Your journey won't end until you find what your want.
Your poem give the reader some good advice. We need to stop and do nothing once in a while. We should allow the stillness to encompass us by withdrawing from the world. Peace and serenety come when we quiet our thoughts and still our bodies. Your poem says this very well.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/readywriter52
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.08 seconds at 8:54am on Dec 22, 2024 via server WEBX1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
