hmm. Although you say it's world peace, yet you focused on a single part of the world, a valley, in fact. Does this mean that if it can happen like this in one place the rest will follow suit? However, stop for a second and think about the sun and earth. If the sun rising is equivalent to peace and the darkness to fear, then since one side of the world is always dark, isn't is also true that all of the world can never truly be at peace at the same time?
this is a nice piece, and i can feel that the characters have a good chemistry together, but also i like the dramatic holding of the breath and that you can make a whole scene out of a simple thing like a chess game.I also thought it was interesting that you switched the concentration from both characters to one, then the other, with ours, to I and my, to you and yours. Good job.
I think you have definitely achieved what you sought to achieve in this essay if that was inspirational. I enjoyed reading it from beginning to end and there are few if none errors grammatically speaking, and I really enjoyed it as a story. I was wondering also if it was a true story, it seems like it is, and if it happened to you or someone close to you?
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