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I thought this was a good piece of writing, which developed a strong narative once it got going. I like some of the description you sued, describing the ‘Dead Day’, and the boredom of being stuck indoors. (I can deffinitely relate to that!)
I’m not sure if you were working to a word limit, but I felt that perhaps you could have lengthened the ending a little. You spent quite a bit of time building up the scene, which was great, but I felt that the ending was a little rushed.
Overall, a charming story. Well done, and good luck in the competition!
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Thank You for the Sig trose!
I think this piece is very well written. I don't read much sci fi, but I think the plot seemed original, because of the angle you have taken it from- having such strong emphasis on the family.
I really liked the twist at the end! You have suddenly piqued my interest and I now really want to know more! I will deffinitely be reading your next chapter, to find out what is going on.
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