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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/raimusha
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10 Public Reviews Given
10 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of A real nightmare  Open in new Window.
Review by Raimusha Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
burdens weighing on me : The family, the job and all I had to do i no longer had any time for leisure.

Family life is like an eternal whirlwind. Respect to yall.
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2
Review of Training Camp  Open in new Window.
Review by Raimusha Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very well written.
3
3
Review by Raimusha Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.0)
Your article could be enhanced by focusing on a particular area. Why not focus on water shortage in India?
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4
Review of Love for poetry  Open in new Window.
Review by Raimusha Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Feel what I feel. Blissful in a miserable world.
5
5
Review of What Am I?  Open in new Window.
Review by Raimusha Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
I feel humbled.
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6
Review by Raimusha Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I love it!
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7
Review by Raimusha Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I enjoyed the story.

My flow was disrupted after reading the first paragraph.

Here is a humble suggestion:

The year was 1989, I was 16 when I ran away from my boring small town in Montana. Today, I am still 16. I'd be 17 had I stayed home.

I believe this will make the first paragraph flow better.

Thank you.
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